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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press (September 27, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580053327
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580053327
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #698,573 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Samhita Mukhopadhyay is a writer, speaker and technologist residing in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Executive Editor of the popular website Feministing.com and is the author of Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life. Mukhopadhyay is also co-host of the podcast Opinionated on Citizen Radio. She has written for multiple outlets including GOOD Magazine, The Nation, The American Prospect, Alternet and the Guardian UK. She has been profiled in The Globe and Mail, The Rumpus, Salon, India Currents Magazine, Nirali Magazine, Brown Girl Magazine, Rabble.ca and on Alternet.

More About the Author

Samhita Mukhopadhyay is a writer, speaker and technologist residing in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Executive Editor of the popular website Feministing.com and is the author of Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life.

Mukhopadhyay is also co-host of the podcast Opinionated on Citizen Radio.

She has written for multiple outlets including GOOD Magazine, The Nation, The American Prospect, Alternet and the Guardian UK. She has been profiled in The Globe and Mail, The Rumpus, Salon, India Currents Magazine, Nirali Magazine, Brown Girl Magazine, Rabble.ca and on Alternet.

Mukhopadhyay is a sought after speaker, regularly lecturing at college and universities and at conferences about race, politics, technology, sexuality and feminism.

She is also a highly regarded web strategist and has developed and managed the online technology strategies of leading grassroots organizing groups including The Center for Media Justice, The Praxis Project, The New Media Literacy Project and the Media Action Grassroots Network.

In 2012, she was chosen as a scholar to attend the Aspen Ideas Festival. In 2007, she was named a Champion of Sexual Literacy by the National Sexuality Resource Center where she is also a guest lecturer in their prestigious summer institute.

Mukhopadhyay is on the board of directors at Sakhi a NYC based organization committed to the eradication of violence against women with a focus on women of the South Asian diaspora.

She has a BA from the State University of New York at Albany in Women's Studies and Sociology and an MA from San Francisco State in Women and Gender Studies where her research focused on the politics of the feminist blogosphere.

Customer Reviews

This is a must-read for anyone who wants to feel empowered, supported and satisfied by their love life.
eerriiiccaa
Mukhopadhyay criticizes those who reach too many conclusions from experiments, when "really they're inferences based on observations."
Frank Langben
Further, between the references and endnotes, there are a great many directions to go in terms of further reading.
M. Kranz

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Nicole S on September 24, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I received my copy a couple days ago and read through it in no time. It is an engaging and approachable read! This book provides a thought-provoking analysis of why the world is such a complicated place to be dating while feminist! Samhita explores many of the ways in which society pressures and influences our ideas around romance, articulates the problems with so many dating books, and articulates connections between romance and oppression. She slays myths about feminism, love, and sex, and validates many ways of approaching love.

At the same time, Samhita manages to balance this with an approachable and candid style that I felt I could relate to well. This is not a simple-to-follow dating self-help book with a formula or a specific end-goal. Rather, it is a look at the way oppression, particularly sexism and heteronomativism shape today's dating landscape that feels conversational and realistic. The book does not end with advice, or a path to follow. Rather, it is a critical look at our world that can inform many different, equally valid, decisions about what is right for each person.

While I found it extremely useful and relatable as a fellow single and dating feminist, I think many young feminists in relationships may also find it worthwhile. Outdated's analysis focuses not only on barriers for single feminists but on the role of oppression within personal relationships and how we can work to have meaningful relationships and communities on our terms. I will definitely be recommending this book to MANY many others! Thank you so much for the wonderful book!
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By nkl1 on May 19, 2012
Format: Paperback
I didn't identify with feminism - I think I perhaps rejected it; due to lack of understanding. I know I'm not the only one who has ever been a bit uncomfortable by the mention of that word.

It really wasn't even on my list of things to know more about until my last few years of trying to make sense of the pieces of living in our culture that didn't feel good (Love relationships, consumerism, political agendas, rampant dysfuction in our society-how it all the dots connect) brought me to a situation in which I was introduced to the author of this book. She handed me her business card. I looked at it and asked `What is feminism?' I don't remember her answer (the discomfort of the 'F-bomb' made me tune out), but the experience stuck with me and reading her book was at the top of my list.

I got my hands on the book and it's thourough examination of our world sparked some revealing conversations for me. As I was discussing it with some people, I could concede to an understanding of what she was saying about love, dating, equality, political systems, marketing machines, really dated ways of living and how it adds to the confusing messages we hear. She clearly spelled out what I had been trying to untangle in my mind with very little support. It helped me reach clarity about my own experience and empowerment in the choices I was making that didn't necessarily fit in with the rest of the world.

One of the most empowering statements in this book, for me, was : "If you stop worrying about finding The One, you can just enjoy meeting new people and all of the possible adventures that come with that." - It was so nice to see someone else be on board with this; I think I want her to be my new best friend! But me? A feminist? No.
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful By M. Kranz on October 14, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is a really interesting meld of analysis and personal reflection that can probably be a great meditation for just about anyone on the nature of relationships.

The author's starting point is very personal, which one of the other reviewers, for some reason, takes as a weakness. For me, however, this is really helpful and honest. By laying out her perspective and making it clear that relationships are not one-size-fits-all, she really leaves a lot up to the reader in terms of where to go with the information and ideas presented in the book. Further, between the references and endnotes, there are a great many directions to go in terms of further reading. At first, it struck me as a little too academic how many citations there were, but, as I moved forward, I realized it was a way to give the reader the freedom to explore all the sources of the author's analysis and draw her or his own conclusions.

And that's one thing that really impressed me about the book, and sets it apart from other dating books: there's no "answer," strictly speaking. There is a lot of really solid criticism of the sorts of patters we're all trained to follow and how these can stand in the way of authentic relationships, but the reader's intelligence is respected enough to not offer a simple, pat alternative.

On top of it all, I couldn't help but bust out laughing in just about every chapter or subsection. The sarcasm and comedy flowing through what is a really heartfelt and smart book makes some of the hard truths in it (like that there's no easy solution) a little easier to stomach. Even the section titles are great (like "Hopeless Romantic or Glutton for Punishment," which is one of my favorites).
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