Customer Reviews

Outgrowing the Pain Together

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My husband and I have only been married 2 years and we have struggled with communication in our marriage. He has always been very physically affectionate...something I didn't feel comfortable with and something I definitely would never initiate. I am a survivor of child abuse. Looking for insight into how abuse can carry into an adult's marriage later in life, I discovered this book and brought it home. I scanned through the entire book in one evening because I could understand everything the author discussed. I shared a few passages with my husband, who is hurt by my need for physical distance. It was like a light went on in his head. All of a sudden, he realized that touching may not be a problem I have with him - but rather something carried over from my childhood. We've had problems discussing sensitive issues in the past...but he suggested we work on this together, using this book as a reference. We've agreed to sit down together once a week and read a chapter. We will then discuss our feelings and share them with one another. Talking is something we always needed to do...this book is clearing the path for us. To the author, we are forever indebted!

A quick read...I couldn't put it down. Excellent book which help me understand my wife (and myself) better. It gives some useful "techinques" to improve communication on difficult topics. If you are at an impass in your relationship due to issues related to abuse, but you love the person deeply, this book can help you break through. Everyone's story is different, but you'll think its written just for you...good to know you're not alone. Abuse doesn't just effect the survivor!

As a partner of a survivor, I have found that this book is one of the best written for Partners of surivivors of Sexual Abuse. Ms Gil writes in a clear, concise manner for everyone to understand. Each chapter is laid out with guidelines, exercises and tips on how to help your partner through one of the most difficult journeys of anyones life: recovering of Sexual Abuse.