Customer Reviews

Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child's Life

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I've read probably hundreds of books about autism spectrum disorders since having a child diagnosed with such. This book marks the first time I felt I was reading about a parent like myself. I almost cheered out loud early in the book when the author with a child with autism said she was not a tigress, not the type to confront any and all to help her child, just a parent that loved her child very much and was devoted to helping him. So many books written by parents about autism are all about how far they have gone to help their child, and generally by following some quite narrow path, such as dietary intervention, ABA, etc. I am always struck by how so little mention is made of any other children in the family, or of the great aspects of their child OUTSIDE the autism. In this book, I really felt like I was reading about a whole family and a WHOLE CHILD---one with interests that while they might be unusual, were still kind of cool and not just obsessions to be gotten rid of.

The clinical advice here is very well done. It's practical to the extreme---right down to giving ideas about helping children know what to talk about during lunch at school (hint---all kids love to discuss how gross some foods are!) While it is plainly said that helping your autistic child needs to take place full time, you are told how to do this in the course of continuing to live your life.

I do think this book would be more helpful to those with verbal children. While it does contain some advice for the non-verbal child, it seems to be more aimed at those with verbal and middle to higher functioning children.

It meant so much to me that in the personal narratives, there was such a sense of reality---for example, although we all know how we are supposed to deal with night wakings, we might not all be primed to follow through in the middle of the night!

It may be fascinating to read about the latest "miracle" to "cure" autism. However, I think the reality is much more what is contained here---practical little things and big things we can do day after day after day to help our precious and valued children.

As the father on an autistic child, I've bought a few books that claimed to be practical guides for parents, but unfortunately, come across as dry academic tomes about setting up an entire special needs curriculum. I've also attended a seminar on applied behavioral analysis (ABA) which came across as turning my son into a "trained monkey", rather really overcoming the problem. And thoughtful friends and family members have provided me with inspirational stories about maniacally devoted parents of "cured" autistic children, who have way more intensity and resources that I could hope to commit to the problem, and therefore, leave me with feelings of hopelessness rather than inspiration.

So it was with great relief and comfort reading Overcoming Autism, which takes a sensible ABA approach to overcoming autism, and provides a number of practical remedies to many common difficulties parents face with autistic children. The book is well organized, and Dr. Koegel is highly experienced and respected in the field of autistic child development. A strength of the book is that many helpful case studies are provided about particular problems autistic children have. And the solution is always sensible, and something the parents can easily implement. LaZebnick's personal account with her own son, who was effectively overcome most of his autism, really fleshed out the book and provided a well needed emotional voice throughout all the factual information.

The book is definitely written from a woman's perspective, and a few times, I was almost asking myself "Where's the father" while reading. I would have like more of a father's perspective or discussion of the father's role, but that is a minor quibble. I expect to be consulting this book often as I raise my son.

This book is not at all helpful if you have a child who is less than a high functioning autistic. I read the entire book and tried to come at it from the perspective of both my children who have these issues, and not a single topic or question and answer would have applied to either of my two children. Ms. Koegel's answer to stims is to try to distract a child and get him to do something else. Her answer to the question of melt-downs and tantrums was to make sure the child wasn't anxious or hungry or trying to get attention. As if we parents wouldn't have thought of that already, tried every distraction imagineable, tried to make sure the child wasn't hungry or tired, or whatever, and still find no answers to the screaming, the stim-ing, etc.?

Her answer to the question of the grocery store was one of the worst. The mother asked "I can't take my daughter to the grocery store because of her bad behavior, but I have to do the shopping, so what can I do?" Her answer assumed, for one thing, that the mother had access to a care provider she could leave the child with until that child was behaving better. Her answer did not take into account any of the issues a child faces at a store. The crowds, the lights, the smells, the noise, the overwhelming sensory overload. Just buying the child a toy at the end of the trip if she behaves is what you would do with a NORMAL child, not an autistic one.

In fact, that is what is wrong with this book. Her ideas to "distract" a child from a stim or repetitive behavior, to explain to the child why this or that is not an appropriate behavior, etc., all assumes that the child can understand you. All of her interventions and ideas seemed geared toward pretty normal children who had a few problems adjusting or fitting into a social setting. I kept shaking my head and thinking, "Is this really a book about autistic children? None of this would remotely have worked with my child!!"

The worst possible part of the book for me was on page 211 when Ms. Koegel is explaining why she is in favor of full inclusion and having an autistic child in a classroom with regular children. She says, "Forget what you've heard about children being mean to each other. They aren't." Huh???? This woman lives in a world of her own making. Put an autistic child who is rocking back and forth grunting or flapping their hands or who thinks learning about ANYTHING besides tornadoes and weather is just STUPID, and believe me, they get laughed at and sometimes worse. My boys have been called "retards", been beat on, picked on, etc. Not all the children are mean, but to make the statement as fact that children are not mean to someone who is different is utterly ridiculous.

I had another problem with her approach to stims. She advocated telling the child that his stim looked silly and made him look different from everybody else. What about his self esteem? To have the grown ups tell him that his stim looks silly and he doesn't want to be different made me downright angry. Would mine have even understood what it meant to look silly? To them anyone NOT doing it was probably silly...or worse!

My oldest is now almost 18 and doing well. My younger son is still struggling but making progress, and I know from having been through this before that it will turn out okay. But very little...well, almost nothing, actually, in this book would have helped me with either of them.

Lynn and her husband Robert Koegel have done some of the most important research work in the autism field. Their work on the use of naturalistic and motivational strategies has proved that communication can be taught most effectively when it's functional and meaningful, not as rote drills.

This book includes the first widely-available account of those methods, and would be extremely valuable for that reason alone. Hopefully it will prove to many parents and professionals that '80s Lovaas-style "ABA" is not the only (let alone the best) option around.

There are aspects of the book that I'd argue with, though. As a behaviorist, Koegel is determined to treat autism simply as a cluster of symptoms, and pays very little attention to what it feels like from the inside (despite the many people on the autistic spectrum who've written accounts of their experiences). She pays no attention to sensory problems, for example. She is horrified at the idea that autistic children might be allowed to isolate themselves on the playground (even if that's what they'd prefer?). And she only rather grudgingly accepts that a child might be permitted to "stim" in private, even though she mentions that research has shown that many stims don't interfere with learning at all.

Her claim that a child or adult who can pass for "eccentric normal" has "no symptoms of autism" anymore is something that many high-functioning autistic spectrum adults - like me - would question.

This is not to dismiss just how far many autistic spectrum kids can go with the right education and support, as Claire LaZebnik's account of her son Andrew demonstrates. Far from it.

But one of the things that touched me most in the book was LaZebnik's gentle acceptance that her son may still stim "finger puppets" in private, and her eloquent description of how his "obsessions" have contributed positively to his life. Such autistic spectrum traits may never go away, although many of us learn to hide them in public. But with the right support, they can be as much of a blessing as a curse.

I love this book because it combines the personal story of one family with the terrific clinical advice of Dr. Koegel. The behavioral analysis is straightforward, and easy to apply even in the hectic life of any parent of an autistic child. The mother's perspective is highly valuable because she is a "real" mom, not the obsessed supermom that we often encounter in biographical autism accounts. I thought that the advice hit all major areas of import when raising a child on the autism spectrum, minus sensory issues. But there are plenty of other books that deal with that- my favorite being "The Out-of-Sync Child" and Temple Grandin's "Thinking in Pictures."

This book will not make you feel guilty for not doing enough of the supposed "right thing," nor will it allow you to sit in complacency. It will give you motivation to do what is right for you and your family. I have found it to be a wonderful resource for me, and I'm insisting that my husband read it! It is a FANTASTIC book.

We got this book pre-diagnosis; in those scary days when we would swing wildly about reassuring ourselves our son was just fine, only to swing way the other way when he had an episode. This book reassured us because the boy in question exhibited far worse symptoms than any our son ever did or does. He was able to train his behavior to the point where he appears utterly typical to the untrained eye. Our son talks to himself and talks movies (script re-enactment) over and over. We're allowing that, but we're trying to show him when it's not appropriate to act like that.

No book will perfectly fit any family's circumstances and no book can promise to cure or even improve things. This book, for us, lifted some of the grief by showing us that while autism is a life sentence, it is not a death sentence. Our kids can make friends, engage in imaginative play, and get real jobs, too. Sure, they may be quirky, but isn't it funny how we value quirkiness more as we age (particularly as compared to middle school)?
Anyways, this book gave some great ideas for encouraging kids to engage with other kids, initiate, and overcome some of the severe sensory issues autistic kids deal with.
It's one more book for your library. Parents of autistic kids remember: you will find that you know more about autism and the ins and outs than your kids' teachers or doctors. This is not so for cancer patients, or even those with broken legs. We are the advocates for our kids and we're right here in the middle of a huge awareness epidemic. Read everything and listen to your kids, even if they are nonverbal.

WOW! As someone who teaches children with autism and has a child on the autism spectrum I was amazed with this book!!! It breaks down the symptoms of autism and provides simple activities to help children with autism! It hits on speech, communication, self-stimulatory activities! It is written in a practical and manageable way so you can start using it the day to receive it! I highly recommend this book to parents of children who have just been diagnosed, but experts and all parents will love it!!!

This is one of the most practical guides to autism that I have ever read. I teach a special day class for children with autism (4th-6th grade) and every year I recommend this book to my parents because of its clarity on the real life issues that come up with a child diagnosed with autism. If you are a parent of a child with autism, a special educator or anyone looking for solid information on autism...GET THIS BOOK!

As the mommy of a 2 1/2 year-old little boy just diagnosed 5 months ago, I feel like I've already read almost every book out there that is about autism. This is one of my favorites!

I absolutely love the positive, hopeful tone of this book and really, really loved hearing from another mom facing the same challenge who, like me, is not superwoman! Whenever I have a day when I start feeling discouraged about our progress, I pick this book up and read a chapter or two. It always improves my mood!

If you don't have a child with autism, chances are you know or will know someone close to you who does. "Overcoming Autism" is your key to unraveling the mystery of behavior modification. There is so much good practical advice that you trust the authors instantly. Dr. Koegel's approach is professional yet easy to follow, giving a parent or caregiver the confidence to tackle issues that were previously left to doctors and therapists. Co-author LaZebnik's words ring true in such an honest and loving manner. Parents have so many worries for their children and autism is just one of them. It's only part of your child's makeup and accepting autism is accepting your child...LaZebnik helped me do that. Dr. Koegel gave me the tools to start the lifelong path that may be different than I had expected but just as wonderful. Caring for a child with autism is a fulltime commitment. When the therapy sessions are over, life begins-- "Overcoming Autism" could be the first step in preparing yourself.