Customer Reviews

Overcoming Frustration and Anger

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I have read many self-help books (Carlson, Covey,Robbins, Walsch, Peale, Carnegie et al.), but this is the first one where I can say it made a real difference in my life.

The basic idea is anger comes from two things: wanting something and not getting it. When I realized no one has ever made me angry (nor have I ever made anyone else angry), it was both empowering and sobering. I realized I was responsable for my response to events. I was in control of my life. I cannot blame anyone for anything. Anger comes from wanting to get your way, which may not happen all the time. To realize anger is self-inflicted made it easy for me to stop.

A perfect example: getting mad at someone who cuts you off in traffic. You have no power to prevent such an event, but you have unlimited options on how to respond, only one of which is to get angry. You could just as easily sing, dance, drive into a wall or stop the car. The other driver does nothing to you; you do it all to yourself. You have the ability to decide what your response will be. Yet many of us scream and yell and get upset at what the other driver "did" to us. No one reached into our brains and "forced" us to feel or act in a certain way.

Another good part of this book is how to be assertive without being aggressive. You don't have to be a doormat to stay calm in life.

I bought this book because I was frustrated with my lack of success at work. I learned frustration is just another form of anger, also self-inflicted. You can stop it anytime you like. I found it rather easy to do.

I've given this book to 3 people and recommended it to several others.

One of the better self-help books I have on my shelf. The words in this one stick with me. I catch myself getting upset over something and some of the author's "tricks" to stop the anger come into thought and it makes more SENSE to not be upset than to be upset. I think the key to breaking the angry habit IS to find a way to short circuit the fuse with practical thoughts that allow you to perceive the situation in a more rational light. This book taught me some of those thoughts which gave me the choice to be angry or not.

I have just completed writing a three-part article for my company on understanding and dealing with frustration. After weeks of research on the topic, this was definately the most helpful resource I found on dealing with frustration and anger. Instead of being just another self-help book attempting to make you feel better about yourself, it provided concrete steps to change the way you think and feel when confronted with frustration. The idea that you create your own emotions to an event is very helpful. It takes you from where you are today, right now, and gives you a way to be a happier and more pleasant person.

Paul suggest that recognizing a conflict between what you want and what you are getting doesn't need to result in anger. That sounds like a wonderful idea to me. However, Paul goes on to suggest many frustrating scenarios and more importantly that other people have the right to frustrate you in those manners without receiving any punishment. He emphasizes that we must avoid anger by simply accepting that life is unfair. The book almost reads like an extended series of taunts. He argues that punishment is wrong. He encourages self defense, but suggests that a bully who beats up your child should not be punished. He even suggests that capital punishment is completely ineffective, because it does not correct the homocidal behavior. Overall, I think Paul could have made his point by emphasizing the value of compassion instead of simply telling the reader that others have the right to abuse you. As Paul suggested, simply telling someone they are wrong does NOT tell them HOW to be right. Paul did not explain how I could convince the bully to stop being a bully. He did suggest that loving thy enemies was the only way to win their friendship, but he didn't explain how to go about loving them while they beat up your kid. Most of the text is wasted on frustrating scenarios followed by the equivalent of a statement that suggests anger is wrong. I think Paul should have provided more step by step examples of the right things to do. Simply saying that a tire has the right to be flat and that life is unfair does not solve the problem. I would have felt better if Paul provided instructions on how to fix a flat tire. If you already believe that feeling angry does not solve problems and that compassion and assertive communication are a way to avoid anger, then I doubt this book has anything else to offer to you.

This is wonderful book from paul hauck.Many authors focus on controlling anger but paul does that job as well as suggesting tips how not to be doormant.There is difference between frustration and Anger.Many people when abused or taken advantage by others keep their frustrations inside without addressing them by talking over or do something about it.This causes built up feelings which may give rise to anger though it is ourselves creating anger.Paul Hauck suggests ways to shows your frustration as well (assertion) as as how to avoid anger in first place.This is what makes book a masterpiece.If we have options to stand up for ourselves,we don't have to put up with nonsense of others.But we can do this without anger.That is what the book is all about.
Once the principles in the book are followed with discipline,we get enormous peace inside and outside and infact it is secret of attracting others.

I have read this book twice. It is a very easy read and the insights presented are simple to understand. Some may say that the books approach is too simple. It has certainly helped me in my quest to be a better person.

The book contains ideas that (to me, at least) were each "well kept secrets." If you want success in dealing with people for whatever reason and find yourself angry or frustrated with your dealings, this book will help you.

This book saved my life. After reading it only once I realized what I was doing wrong all the time and how this affected my life and that of my friends and family. It honestly made me change without making me feel like I was doing everything wrong. Its why-should-you-care-if-he's-an-idiot way of thinking had made me feel more comfortable talking to everyone around me ever since I have read the book. And, it only took me a day or two to finish it. I will definetly buy it and read it every time I feel my communication and anger management skills have diminished.

The time spent reading this book was the best gift I could have given myself in my crazy stressed-out life with two small children and a carreer. Read it, you will not be sorry.

This book gives the reader valuable insight into how they generate anger and frustration in their lives; once you get it, Dr. Hauck gives you the tools to get past it. Wonderful, powerful, life-altering.

IF YOU HAVE A PHD THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. BUT IF NOT, YOU WILL NEED A BIG DICTIONARY FOR THE BIG WORDS. WHY IS IT PEOPLE USE SUCH BIG WORD IN A SELF HELP BOOK IS BEYOND ME. IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW, IF THE AUTHOR USES WORDS YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S TWICE AS HARD.