Buy New
$12.06
Qty:1
  • List Price: $14.95
  • Save: $2.89 (19%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship Paperback – November 3, 2003


See all 2 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Paperback
"Please retry"
$12.06
$7.58 $2.74

Frequently Bought Together

Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship + Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict + Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work
Price for all three: $37.26

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Image
Looking for the Audiobook Edition?
Tell us that you'd like this title to be produced as an audiobook, and we'll alert our colleagues at Audible.com. If you are the author or rights holder, let Audible help you produce the audiobook: Learn more at ACX.com.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1 edition (November 3, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1569244758
  • ISBN-13: 978-1569244753
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #58,159 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Bernstein, a psychologist specializing in couples and family therapy, and Magee (The Power of Positive Confrontation) offer partners a way to renew the spark in their relationships in this succinct self-help guide. They claim that one of the most significant steps is to focus on yourself rather than your partner by ridding yourself of toxic thoughts, "negative thoughts that have lost their basis in reality and have gotten out of control." Examining nine toxic thought patterns (such as jumping to conclusions, labeling one another and playing the "blame game"), the authors provide well-researched explanations, relevant examples and practical alternatives to transform negative thoughts and behaviors into positive and constructive ones.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"All couples should read this book and give their relationship a chance for a deeper and longer lasting love." -- Nadine J. Carpenter, LCSW

"Bernstein and Magee ... will assist any motivated couple in making meaningful changes in their relationship." -- Monroe A. Bruch, Professor of Counseling Psychology, University of Albany, State University of New York

"This book [will]...help your relationship become better, less conflicted, and more romantic—even if your partner doesn’t read it!" -- Steven D. Mullinix, Ph.D.

"This excellent book ... gives detailed guidance on how to create a lasting love. I heartily recommend it." -- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., New York Times best-selling author of Getting the Love You Want

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

I read about one book a week.
Local Man From Local City
I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anybody who would like to improve their relationship with their spouse/partner.
Anjali
Just a few pages into the book, he could see things he had never known were wrong in his way of thinking.
Dona E. Russell

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 106 people found the following review helpful By Amanda on March 4, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book really makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, I found myself saying "wow, i do that"....A LOT. For me, and i would guess most people when they are having relationship problems get to a point where they think they have done everything they can to fix it....when really we do just the opposite. I always considered myself extremely giving and open and my partner totally selfish, and reading this book made me realize how selfish i am. I think this book is a great tool for looking at our own behavior..Also, it gives plenty of great examples and ways to improve.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
61 of 64 people found the following review helpful By A Reader on April 19, 2006
Format: Paperback
Before we found this book, my husband and I were highly discourgaged and didn't think there were any solutions to repair our miserable relationship. All I can say is that this book finally stopped us from resenting and blaming each other for the crumbling of our marriage. I had seen Dr. Bernstein on the Today Show a while ago when they had a segment on toxic relationships and I remembered the title, Why Can't You Read My Mind? This book helped us to understand and appreciate each other in ways we never have before. I only wish that I had bought it before our relationship got so bad. My advice is don't wait till the 11th hour to read this outstanding book.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
76 of 84 people found the following review helpful By Clare J Daniels on October 23, 2003
Format: Paperback
I read several good relationship books (including Relationship Rescue) but this book really does bring to light a problem I never knew I had--toxic thinking. Just since reading the book over the weekend, I've already improved my relationship with my husband of nine years. I know this sounds crazy but it's true. The author really gets you thinking about how you think about your relationship and sometimes it's not very positive. Though it's very common sense, it's just not the kind of thing I would have realized on my own. I also like the author's style, very upbeat and fun, not at all psycho babbly like a lot of congnitive relationship books.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 4, 2003
Format: Paperback
I agree with the first reviewer, it's crazy, but this book really does make a difference and fast. I learned that I'm a Blame thinker and an All or Nothing thinker when it comes to my relationship. The scary thing is, negative thoughts about my fiance, who won't move forward and set a date, are very automatic. I'm working now to break the habit. I'm glad I read this book.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
34 of 39 people found the following review helpful By Local Man From Local City on October 21, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'll start off by saying this book worked for me and my girlfriend of 6 years. We have been in a rut for probably a while now. I bought it for myself, but she read it too. It really should be read by both people.

I don't think the title fits the book. I feel like this book could easily be overlooked because I told myself "that just doesn't feel like what our problem is." But I got it anyway. I'm happy. My girlfriend is happy. We aren't dancing in the streets like a couple of loons, but we are more open, honest, and able to recognize our problems before they get blown out of proportion. The tools in this book should be required reading in every relationship. I almost feel bad for people who haven't read it yet. I'd buy it for my friends if it didn't seem like I was "saying something."

The downside of the book is it's quite boring. I love to read. I read about one book a week. But this book was a bit difficult just because it didn't really have a lot of fluff. Which is a plus in some ways, but some humor, motivation, more success stories, or just some interesting analogies would have been nice to hold my interest.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
20 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Aella on August 25, 2006
Format: Paperback
This is the most amazing book I have ever stumbled across. It not only gave me a new perspective on love and relationships but I was able to incorporate the logic of it into all areas of my life. I've recommended it to friends left and right. This is definitely a must read.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By H. Chevres on September 22, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you have had doubts or conflicting thoughts about your relationship, take a deep breathe, order this book and read it. It will definitely change a lot of your thoughts to more real and concrete truths that will help you and your significant other reach the ultimate calm in relationships. You will change for the better, and even if your significant other reads it or not, they will also change due to you reading this book. Trust me, this author knows what he is talking about. I wouldn't order any other book but this one. It definitely changed my way of thinking and made me appreciate what i have, instead of what i want.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Teacher on March 1, 2014
Format: Paperback
1) The All or Nothing Trap (which leads to black and white thinking)
2) Catastrophic Conclusions
3) The Should Bomb (feeling like your partner should be able to know what you are thinking/feeling)
4) Label Slinging
5) The Blame Game (seeing yourself as a victim)
6) Emotional Short-Circuit (feeling like your partner's emotions can't be handled; can lead to the silent treatment)
7) Overactive Imagination
8) Head Game Gamble (trying to read partner's mind)
9) Disillusionment Doom
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search