Customer Reviews

Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book really makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, I found myself saying "wow, i do that"....A LOT. For me, and i would guess most people when they are having relationship problems get to a point where they think they have done everything they can to fix it....when really we do just the opposite. I always considered myself extremely giving and open and my partner totally selfish, and reading this book made me realize how selfish i am. I think this book is a great tool for looking at our own behavior..Also, it gives plenty of great examples and ways to improve.

I read several good relationship books (including Relationship Rescue) but this book really does bring to light a problem I never knew I had--toxic thinking. Just since reading the book over the weekend, I've already improved my relationship with my husband of nine years. I know this sounds crazy but it's true. The author really gets you thinking about how you think about your relationship and sometimes it's not very positive. Though it's very common sense, it's just not the kind of thing I would have realized on my own. I also like the author's style, very upbeat and fun, not at all psycho babbly like a lot of congnitive relationship books.

Before we found this book, my husband and I were highly discourgaged and didn't think there were any solutions to repair our miserable relationship. All I can say is that this book finally stopped us from resenting and blaming each other for the crumbling of our marriage. I had seen Dr. Bernstein on the Today Show a while ago when they had a segment on toxic relationships and I remembered the title, Why Can't You Read My Mind? This book helped us to understand and appreciate each other in ways we never have before. I only wish that I had bought it before our relationship got so bad. My advice is don't wait till the 11th hour to read this outstanding book.

I'll start off by saying this book worked for me and my girlfriend of 6 years. We have been in a rut for probably a while now. I bought it for myself, but she read it too. It really should be read by both people.

I don't think the title fits the book. I feel like this book could easily be overlooked because I told myself "that just doesn't feel like what our problem is." But I got it anyway. I'm happy. My girlfriend is happy. We aren't dancing in the streets like a couple of loons, but we are more open, honest, and able to recognize our problems before they get blown out of proportion. The tools in this book should be required reading in every relationship. I almost feel bad for people who haven't read it yet. I'd buy it for my friends if it didn't seem like I was "saying something."

The downside of the book is it's quite boring. I love to read. I read about one book a week. But this book was a bit difficult just because it didn't really have a lot of fluff. Which is a plus in some ways, but some humor, motivation, more success stories, or just some interesting analogies would have been nice to hold my interest.

I agree with the first reviewer, it's crazy, but this book really does make a difference and fast. I learned that I'm a Blame thinker and an All or Nothing thinker when it comes to my relationship. The scary thing is, negative thoughts about my fiance, who won't move forward and set a date, are very automatic. I'm working now to break the habit. I'm glad I read this book.

This is the most amazing book I have ever stumbled across. It not only gave me a new perspective on love and relationships but I was able to incorporate the logic of it into all areas of my life. I've recommended it to friends left and right. This is definitely a must read.

I recently got married and when you imagine everything to go perfectly, I started having frequent fights with my husband. I decided to work on myself and started looking for books that could help me think in a right direction and teach how I can control my emotions and think constructively. This book really helped me understand many things that I did not know before. Now I am very watchful about how I behave and think and this book reminds me of all the things that I think about how to not get into fight and just calm myself, negate my negative thoughts before they come out. This is a great book and I advise everybody who are having difficulty understanding how one can fight with someone whom you love so much and you don't know from where these negativity is coming from.

If you have had doubts or conflicting thoughts about your relationship, take a deep breathe, order this book and read it. It will definitely change a lot of your thoughts to more real and concrete truths that will help you and your significant other reach the ultimate calm in relationships. You will change for the better, and even if your significant other reads it or not, they will also change due to you reading this book. Trust me, this author knows what he is talking about. I wouldn't order any other book but this one. It definitely changed my way of thinking and made me appreciate what i have, instead of what i want.

How simply written and oddly correct. I don't find that everything applies in my relationship but it's been really helpful. Definitely a good tool for anyone in or desiring to be in a relationship. I think it can also be helpful in helping couples find a common starting ground in trying to renew their relationship. I personally like the writing style, humor involved and simplicity of the authors message. I like to read but I can't stand technical jargon and this book has none which makes it great for everyone.

Excellent read in the relations between men and women. It was very eye opening and made me realize some deestructive patterns I've been in durning past relationships. I would suggest this one to anyone, whether you are in a relationship, married, single, whatever. There is much good info in this one. I also suggest Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid: The Simple Truth to a Complicated Relationship.