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Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit & Wisdom From History's Greatest Wordsmiths

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One of my best friends had an aunt (let's call her Ginny) who, like Yogi Berra, could bring a lively conversation to a screeching halt with one brief comment. Aunt Ginny really was unaware of this (shall we say) unique talent. She was not trying to be funny, clever, etc. On the contrary, she offered what she considered to be a serious comment and everyone knew what her intended meaning was. For example:

"Quicker than you can count Jack Robinson."
"Deader than a door knob."
"She was born on a silver platter."

My personal favorite:

"He's on a treadmill to Bolivia."

I am curious to know what Aunt Ginny would make of Grothe's book. (She died many years ago.) She would no doubt agree with many observations but perhaps not see the humor in any of them. Grothe has selected what he calls "oxymoronical" material from his vast collection of quotations. With regard to the term, his definition: "Oxymoronica, n.; A compilation of self-contradictory terms, phrases, or quotations; examples of oxymoronica appear illogical or nonsensical at first, but upon reflection, make a good deal of sense and are often profoundly true." As other reviewers have correctly noted, many of the quotations which Grothe has assembled are hilarious, others insightful, still others cynical. All of them qualify as "oxymoronica."

Among those forgotten or of which I was previously unaware, my personal favorites include:

"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything."
John Kenneth Galbraith

"Hatreds are the cinders of affection."
Sir Walter Raleigh

"I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?"
Benjamin Disraeli

"What you get free costs too much."
Jean Anouilh

"Good fiction is that which is real."
Ralph Ellison

"Nothing is funnier than unhappiness."
Samuel Beckett (in Endgame)

Selections are organized within fourteen chapters, each of which has a generic subject such as "Sex, Love & Romance," "Ancient Oxymoronica," and "The Literary Life." I presume to suggest that Grothe's anthology be skimmed occasionally rather than read cover-to-cover. In the Foreword, Richard Lederer offers these comments which serve as an appropriate conclusion to my review: "Paradox is a particularly powerful device to ensnare truth because it concisely illuminates the contradictions that are at the very heart of our lives. It engages our hearts and minds because, beyond its figurative employment, paradox has always been at the center of of the human experience." Or, to paraphrase Yogi Berra, if people don't want to appreciate oxymoronica, nobody's going to stop them.

Those who share my high regard for this book are urged to check out The Portable Curmudgeon and The Return of the Portable Curmudgeon, both edited by Jon Winokur; also John M. Shanahan's The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less) and Condensed Knowledge: A Deliciously Irreverent Guide to Feeling Smart Again, edited by Will Pearson.

I am sure if someone had told me before I read this book that it was an easy-to-read, entertaining, and informative combination of a simple quote book, many cultural and historical references, and a scholarly and literary analysis of paradoxes and oxymorons, I would not have bought it. Well, I sure am glad nobody told me exactly what the book was about because I not only bought it and read it, I thought it was an outstanding book.

"Oxymoronica," a new term introduced by Dr. Mardy Grothe and the title of this book, was defined inside the front cover as "any variety of tantalizing, self-contradictory statements or observations that on the surface appear false or illogical, but at a deeper level are true, often profoundly true."

In keeping with that definition, the book contained over 1,400 oxymoronic and paradoxical quotations from ancient times to today, organized into fourteen categories, most of which you would expect to find in any standard book of quotations (i.e. advice; insults; politics; sex, love, and romance; marriage, home, and family life). Complementing the wit and wisdom of the quotations was Grothe's historical and cultural research and his ability to present and put into a logical, often humorous, context the quotations so that I could reflect on and appreciate their profound meanings. You can open the book at random or read it sequentially and get the same pleasant experience both ways.

I had many profoundly personal moments of reflection on people and events in my life throughout the pages of this book:

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's own ignorance." Confucius

"You can't make anything idiot-proof because idiots are so ingenious." Ron Burns

"The child is father of the man." William Wordsworth

"When you add to the truth, you subtract from it." From the Talmud

"He had nothing to say and he said it." Ambrose Bierce, on a contemporary

"I learned an awful lot from him by doing the opposite." Howard Hawkes, on Cecil B. DeMille

"Most people when they come to you for advice come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected." Josh Billings

"Vision is the art of seeing things invisible." Jonathon Swift

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." George Orwell, in "Animal Farm"

There's something about oxymorons that bring us up short even as we laugh over the sheer absurdity of it all. Even the name of this little book is an absurdity in itself: "Oxymoronica"?? Reading this volume helps us to stop and think about some of the gems and malapropisms that have enlivened the English language, both planned and unplanned. Here you'll find some of the more classic Berra-isms and the wit and wisdom of Shakespeare, Aristotle, and Confucius, just to name a few. The book is well organized into different areas of life such as politics, art, romance and sex (some of the more delicious examples of oxymoronica fall into this category), marriage and literature. The book makes you reminisce on some of the choicer oxymorons of your own experience; one of my favorites came from a lawyer friend of mine, who, hearing that an upcoming court hearing was being delayed because the judge-from-hell was ill, said "Gee, I hope it's nothing trivial." "Oxymoronica" is full of hilarious examples that match or top that one. Its wisdom should be absorbed slowly, savored bit by delicious bit. To use a classic oxymoron, it's a terribly funny book.

Word lovers find an immediate friend in Dr. Mardy Grothe, for in his latest book, Oxymoronica-Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths, he has labored long to prepare a banquet for their absolute delight. Psychologist and business consultant may be his profession - and a demanding profession it is - but Dr. Grothe always finds time for his chief passion, which is the love of language. In this book, he shares the fruits of many years of collecting quotations, concentrating on those of a peculiar type-the paradoxical and oxymoronic-comprehended in his newly coined term "oxymoronica."

This book is no quick read. When you discover a fine wine, do you gulp it down? Or do you prefer to savor it, to prolong the pleasure, knowing that even when at last you have finished, you can return for many more unhurried sessions. Such is the experience of reading this book. You may open it at random (if you are an unsystematic reader like me) and discover a treasure like this one from Groucho Marx: "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made." Then you might laugh, but more often than not you start thinking and finding out there was something true about the thought, something that almost escaped your attention until the paradoxical twist brought it out.

What also impresses you is the broad range of the quotations, historically and culturally, from Confucius to George Carlin, arranged in fourteen different categories encompassing many if not most areas of your experience. What you find here is a tour de force, leading at least this reader to a conclusion - which itself is a paradox - that you will better understand yourself and your experience through paradox. I will not try to convince the skeptic (I was a skeptic myself), except to say that I am so glad that I experienced (so much more than "read") this book. Try it! Just maybe a few depth charges in your mind will clear your head!

I have always found words to be marvelous tools, weapons or playthings - depending on who is wielding them and in what tone of voice. I marvelous at those who have the talent to express time-tested ideas in new and entertaining ways. So, I was delighted to find this little gem, written by Dr. Mardy Grothe: Oxymoronica - Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths." This HarperCollins book will be added to my bookshelf of hand reference works.

According to Dr. Grothe's own definition, "oxymoronica" are: "Any variety of tantalizing, self-contradictory statements or observations that on the surface appear false or illogical, but at a deeper level are true, often profoundly true."

The author has been collecting memorable quotations for many years, and out of the tens of thousands in his collection, he chose two hundred pages worth that best represent the art of verbal paradox.

I could share quotations from every page that are worth passing on, but to keep this mini-review from become too "maxi," I will share only a few quotations culled from my favorite authors.

From Dickens - the immortal opening passage to A Tale of Two Cities:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
It was the epoch of believe, it was the epoch of incredulity,
It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness,
It was the spring of hope, it was the spring of despair,
We had everything before us, we had nothing before us,
We were all going direct to Heaven,
We were all going direct the other way."
(Page 197)

From Dickens Bleak House:

"He is an honorable, obstinate, truthful, high-spirited, intensely prejudiced, perfectly reasonable man."
(Page 205)

From Dostoyevsky's Notes from the Underground:

"In despair there are the most intense enjoyments, especially when one is very acutely conscious of the hopelessness of one's position."

"Man is sometimes extraordinarily, passionately, in love with suffering."
(Page 200)

From Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye:

"As in the case of many misanthropes, his disdain for people led him into a profession designed to serve them."
(Page 201)

From Anton Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard:

"When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it can't be cured."
(Page 204)

Joseph Heller, in Catch-22, is a veritable fount of oxymoronic wit and wisdom:

"Even amongst men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him where always impressed by how unimpressive he was."

"The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likeable. In three days, no one could stand him."

Heller - in Something Happened:

"When I grow up I want to be a little boy."
(Page 207)

From Aldous Huxley in Point Counter Point:

"Several excuses are always less convincing than one."
(Page 208)

Washington Irving in Bracebridge Hall:

"Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old."
(Page 208)

Edgar Allan Poe in The Purloined Letter:

"The best place to hide anything is in plain view."
(Page 211)

George Bernard Shaw in Man and Superman:

"The most unbearable pain is produced by prolonging the keenest pleasure."

Another Shavian gem, from Heartbreak House:

"The surest way to ruin a man who doesn't know how to handle money is to give him some."
(Page 212)

Finally, Alexander Solzhenitsyn in The First Circle:

"You only have power over people as long as you don't take everything away form them. But when you've robbed a man of everything he's no longer in your power - he's free again."
(Page 212)

This is a book you can read in one sitting, and then will return to again and again for inspiration and delight.

In keeping with the spirit of the book, let me conclude: "This little volume is a quick snack that will feed you for a lifetime!"

Enjoy!

Al

When we hear the word "oxymoron", we typically think of the simple and classic contradictory word-pairs like "military intelligence", "boneless ribs", and "jumbo shrimp". But as Dr. Mardy Grothe teaches and demonstrates to us, there is much more to the oxymoron than meets the eye.

An oxymoron, he explains, is paradox ("a truth standing on its head to attract attention") compacted into a single sentence or phrase. Dr. Grothe offers us a remarkably rich collection of self-contradictory statements which on the surface appear to be false or nonsensical, but which upon reflection appear to be true -- often, as he points out, "profoundly true".

"Oxymoronica" is a book that should not be read quickly, any more than a box of Belgian chocolates should be devoured in a single sitting. Each of the many hundreds of paradoxical gems bears multiple layers of meaning: I found myself inevitably smiling, shaking my head, or whispering a delighted "ahah" to myself as I allowed each one to sink in.

Well-documented and organized (there's even a section on Oxymoronic Insults), "Oxymoronica" is a rich collection, but it does not pretend to be exhaustive. In fact, the author has built a website and encouraged a community of collectors and wordsmiths to participate in a dymamic and growing collection in celebration of this form of word play.

Dr. Grothe's collection is, in a word, "extraordinary". Which is, come to think of it, itself a one-word oxymoron.

Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of _Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You_, has written another gem -- _Oxymoronica: Paradoxical Wit and Wisdom from History's Greatest Wordsmiths_. The subtitle is perfectly apt: Wit and wisdom form the crux of an oxymoron, and Grothe's examples -- drawn from around the world -- span millennia.

As Grothe says in his introduction, "Many examples of oxymoronica appear illogical or self-contradictory on the surface. But at a deeper level, they usually make a great deal of sense and are often profoundly true."

A linguaphile extraordinaire, Grothe has been collecting quotations for nearly four decades. From his eight to ten thousand examples of oxymoronica, he has culled nearly 1500 for inclusion in the present volume. He has arranged them into fourteen chapters, each with a theme, such as romance, family, politics, the arts, and literature. One chapter is devoted to "ancient oxymoronica," another to "inadvertent oxymoronica." Grothe provides commentary through about the first half of each chapter, citing oxymora (the purists' plural) that illustrate his points. The last half of each chapter presents additional oxymora without commentary. Grothe advises readers not to read these too quickly but to take time to savor each one as if it were gourmet chocolate.

Here are a few of my favorites from _Oxymoronica_:

There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception. --James Thurber

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. --Montaigne

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. --G. K. Chesterton

I'm the Hiroshima of love. --Sylvester Stallone

_Oxymoronica_ is a linguaphile's paradise. It will delight you again and again with its double-faceted gems. It is a celebration not only of people's wit and wisdom but also of the paradoxical nature of our world.

This book contains many fine entries by people other than the author, "Dr." Mardy Grothe. Many of them are not `opposite' or `contradictory' enough to fit in, and are less interesting than the ones that do belong.

The problem with the book is the many comments by the author, which at their best are not necessary. His day job evidently involves some sort of counseling. Perhaps this line of work leads him to expect that people require explanations. For whatever reason, he provides his readers, or rather the readers of his selections, with plenty of explanations. He tells us what it is about contradictory statements that makes them contradictory, or whatever else we might need to understand these otherwise entertaining quotations. He even tells us why some of them are funny. Like most people who `explain' what it is about a joke that makes it funny, he's not very funny, and neither is the joke when he is finished with it. No doubt you have heard the term, "firm grasp on the obvious."

Do I dare provide a quote from this mischief? Well, ok. From the Introduction:

Oxymoronica?" [sic] you might be thinking, "What's that?" While you surely know what an oxymoron is, oxymoronica is probably a new word to you. You won't find it in any dictionary (at least not yet) because I came up with it only a few years ago. In coining oxymoronica, I was inspired by words you may know . . . I use the word oxymoronica to describe quotations that contain incompatible or incongruous elements. Many examples of oxymoronica appear illogical or self-contradictory on the surface. But at a deeper level, they usually make a great deal of sense and are often profoundly true.

By leaving out the marginally appropriate quotations and ALL of "Doctor" Grothe's comments, this book could be reduced to half its size, and be considerably improved.

Dr. Grothe's "Oxymoronica" left me chuckling and amused on more than one occasion. Although this book is -- as another reviewer indicated -- a mere collection of quotes, the presentation and commentary provided by Dr. Grothe makes it so much more than a simple book of not-so-simple quotes. If you buy this book, be prepared to mark it up because you'll find yourself repeatedly reminding yourself, "I've got to remember that quote". A stellar read that should be enjoyed, savored, and referred to frequently!!

I loved this book! If you are interested in the clever and inadvertently clever use of language, you will enjoy Oxymoronica. The chapters are organized into general categories and I especially enjoyed the ones on Politics and Family Life. I think the book would be an excellent resource for attorneys, pastors, teachers and anyone interested in public speaking.