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Pacifi(her): What She's Thinking When She's Pregnant Paperback – August 16, 2011


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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Hogan Hilling is author of The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads and The Man Who Would Be Dad. He has contributed to the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, and the Washington Post and appeared on Oprah, ABC’s The Story of Fathers and Sons, and NBC’s The Other Half. Hilling founded Proud Dads, Inc., and is Board Member At-Large of Daddyshome, Inc. He and his wife have been married for 24 years and live in California. They have three sons.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 154 pages
  • Publisher: Turner (August 16, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1596528273
  • ISBN-13: 978-1596528277
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,008,025 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3.7 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Shelby Highsmith on October 31, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you've been living in the twenty-first century for the last 12 years or so, you might find it as shocking as I did that this book was written over a decade after we survived Y2K and the hanging chads of Florida. Then again, if some politicians still need "Binders Full of Women" to make hiring decisions, then this condescending, anachronistic portrayal of "irrational" woman might still have a place.

I'm about to be a new dad, and I am turbo-excited about it. My wife and I are no spring chickens, well into our 30s before we got married and soon after began the family planning process, so we've had a good bit of time to get to know ourselves, our bodies, and the concept of having our own mature, fulfilling lives that complement each other's rather than subsuming the other. I don't think this book is for us. This book is for Don Draper, and as much as I enjoy his bourbon-drinking and child-scolding ways, I don't think I want to emulate the way he relates to women.

I knew as soon as I cracked the first page (electronically, on my Kindle) that I had made a mistake by including this in my ohmygodimgonnabeadadwhatdoido Kindle shopping spree, with the very first line setting the Norman Rockwell-esque stage for the horror to follow: "When a wife asks her husband to conceive a baby, almost every husband is willing to become a dad and help his wife fulfill her lifelong dream: to be a mom." If I had only downloaded a sample of this book first, I could've saved my money in an instant.

After reading/skimming a couple other books to get a hold of the basics over the first two trimesters, I decided to give this one another shot when I thought we might be experiencing some of the more emotional aspects of pregnancy.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By mike peabody on March 29, 2012
Format: Paperback
If you are looking for an easy read to fool your wife that you learning about pregnancy, this is it. If you are looking for useful information, I would look somewheres else. I find Mr. Hilling spends more time selling the reader on his expantant dads class than actually teaching expectant dads what to expect.
I would recommend The Dudes Guide to pregnancy. It gives you a week to week guide on what to expect, it's hilarious, and so far, quite accurate.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Vanessa Pruitt - Natural Family Today on August 24, 2011
Format: Paperback
As a pregnancy writer, I come across very few options for reading material for new dads. Hogan Hilling, author and father of 3 sons, fills a need for information within the dad community. In this book, Hogan draws on his personal experience working with expecting fathers, and attempts to help men understand what their wives are going through during pregnancy, as well as the issues that they too are facing.

Hogan is exactly right when he describes the lack of attention that dad's get from professionals, childbirth educators, and the lack of available information that exists for new dads. There are an endless number of resources available for expecting mothers, and little to none (depending on the area) for expecting dads.

There is a lot of information covered in this book, and it's very well rounded. It breaks the social barriers about how men feel about pregnancy and becoming a dad, and touches on feelings and worries that dad's experience, even some things that they themselves couldn't quite put into words, or hadn't realized was affecting them.

Pacifi(her) offers good advice for being involved with the pregnancy, bonding with the unborn baby, and preparing for life as a new dad. It encourages dads to be proactive protectors and parents, and to stand up and take on their new role with confidence. There is a great section about intimacy, as well as one that addresses dad's fears about the upcoming birth.

Since Hogan is a father himself, this book is written from a perspective that dad's can understand. Hogan uses lots of analogies that will help dad's truly "get it". With all of the advice and information geared toward women, men often feel at a loss of what to do during pregnancy.
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Format: Paperback
Pacifi(her) is a lively book written by a dad devoted to helping other dads learn how important they are to their unborn child, their new baby, and their pregnant and new mothering wife. Hogan writes with sensitivity about how dads can develop support networks that help them adjust to fatherhood. By tracing the significance of the father's role from pregnancy to birth and afterwards, he prepares new fathers for the many struggles and pleasures they will face as they take on the life-giving occupation of parenthood.

Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., psychoanalyst and author of Parental Intelligence, a blog for parents with children of all ages: http://lauriehollmanphd.com/blog-parental-intelligence.
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By JonMagic on February 8, 2014
Format: Paperback
There were a couple interesting paragraphs in the book but for the most part it had no relevance to my circumstances. I'm not insecure, my marriage isn't from the 1950's, and I don't need to make peace with my father or father in law or explain to my wife that she needs to think about my feelings too. Wowza.
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