Customer Reviews

The Pagan Book of Living and Dying: Practical Rituals, Prayers, Blessings, and Meditations on Crossing Over

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Sadly, I bought this book upon receiving the news that a friend's teenage daughter had been diagnosed with an incurable fatal illness. As one who came to Paganism by my own choice, I had no reference yet for how Pagans dealt with end of life passage.

It turns out it was that very reason that Starhawk and other members of Reclaiming wrote this book. Very few modern Pagans are raised in their chosen spirituality and often find they have no traditions or practices to guide them when dealing with the loss of a loved one.

This book is not a strict step-by-step ritual guide, but a sharing of experience that includes blessings, prayers and ritual details. The collected writings share how various people have dealt with the situations around long illness as well as sudden losses. There are accounts and suggestions for rituals not only to say farewell or bury the dead, but for how those still alive can honor those who have died and address their own grieving and healing.

I found the stories shared in this book to be incredibly personal and yet at the same time practical. I feel I will have a foundation of knowledge from which to draw when I have to deal with this issues and changes in my own family and circle of friends.

Using essays, poetry, songs and rituals, Starhawk shares with us this wonderful collection that deals sensitively with the issues surrounding death.

Touching on issues ranging from SIDS to AIDS, this book contains beautiful and comforting words for both Pagans and non-Pagans. The use of prayer and meditation is strongly recommended in the book, which may put off the non-religious person. However, being as the book is aimed largely at the Pagan population, it may be a moot point. I found the commentary compassionate without being patronizing, a task that is difficult within itself. "Living and Dying" is certainly a book we've needed for a long time. So rarely is death treated with such respect and objectivity. Death is a reality, a part of life that we need to embrace, and not fear. And while I'm nowhere near the state of embracement, I can, with the help of this book, at least reconcile the fact that "inevetable" should not mean "hopeless".

I recommend this book, for many reasons - the dialogue, the topic coverage, the compassion - and I'd include it as "essential reading" for any Pagan.

I can't say enough good about this book. Thank the goddess there is a book from a Pagan perspective. That celebrates the diversity of pagan belief and addresses loss and death. From how to help children deal with the loss of a loved one (bird or teacher or...) to how to conduct a home-made cremation to mourning rituals and healing songs to advice for being with a loved one who is dying. My only complaint is that it isn't long enough. Deep enough. Hopefully it is only the first volume of future books...

I cannot say enough good things about this book!!! The layout of the book is very approachable. The personal stories, rituals, prayers, songs, chants, poems, and meditations are invaluable!

I especially enjoyed the story "Bo's Cremation" by Patricia Michael. The details given of his life and death are so personal and helpful. The instructions (and examples of trial/error) in obtaining a loved one's body, keeping it on dry ice, and setting up your own viewing and cremation ceremony was amazing.

I was also thoroughly drawn to the story "Aric Arthur Graf Dies (or Rickie Goes to Become an Ancestor)" by Donald L. Engstrom. This story was very intimate and striking. The idea of the author going into trance and being able to astrally project himself with his loved one on another plane about to cross over was mesmerizing.

The items about using the Tarot with death related activities was helpful. The last section of the book gives fabulous concrete things you can do do make sure all your "things" are in order for your own death. This should be read and acted upon by all, because you just never know when you may have to go (like one section of the book says--always keep your bags packed).

Being fairly new to the Wiccan religion still, I feel like I have a more concrete understanding in the Pagan beliefs of death and dying. I feel more enlightened about the subject in general as well. I found the section on suicide to help answer a lot of questions I had about that. The book doesn't just make it a cut-and-dried topic either, it talks about the intricies of suicide based on depression, long term health illness, and other topics.

It's been said in other reviews, but I must reiterate--This book belongs in EVERY Pagan home. The sooner the better.

This book was released at an important time for our family; just before the death of a close friend. Some of the rituals are absolutely stunning, and make the sharing of someone's death out to be the privelege that it truly is, but is not recognized as in US culture. If you are about to lose someone special to you...do yourself a favor and read this book. Don't be afraid to use what you find there. It helps in letting go!

SKH

If a loved one's passing has brought you great sorrow or if you simply wish for a better understanding of death, this is truly for you. This book is honestly one of a kind; it takes Pagan beliefs and presents them in a whole new light. The reader is guided through the process of caring for someone who is dying, grieving for a loved one who has passed on, planning for a funeral, preparing for death, understanding death, and so much more. Words cannot express how unique and uplifting this book is. Just reading it can change your life forever. It is filled with rituals, prayers, songs, chants, poems, and meditations and visualizations. I believe is the only book of its kind and if every Pagan's library had only one book in it, this is the book it should have.

Perhaps one of the greatest things about this book is you do not have to be Pagan to appreciate and understand the contents of it. You could be an athiest and it would still help you and bring you comfort. This is by far the best non-fiction book I have ever read. If you are looking for a book to help you cope with death or learn more about it, buy this one. Even, and especially, if you are only going to buy one on the subject.

It will help you greatly. It has helped me and any many other countless people greatly. I was extremely close to my mother, for years I cared for her and I love her more than life itself so when I was 22 years old and she passed away suddenly after a battle with cancer everyone thought she had recovered from, my whole world seemed to crumble to peices and I honestly wondered if I could even go on living, if life would ever again be the same, if I'd ever smile again. Then a very dear friend of mine handed me her copy of this book. She told me if I read it that it would give me a better understanding of death and help my heart heal. I read it and I would be lying if I said it did not do just that. It changed my life and while I was reading it, just two months after my mother passed on, my husband and I discovered we were pregnant with our beautiful little boy so while finishing reading the book I was also able to experience the circle of life firsthand and it was so beautiful it was beyond words. I could even feel my mother's presence when my son was born and it was the most amazingly wonderful feeling there could ever be. I think the knowledge in this book honestly has the power to enhance your life as you begin to look at death in a whole new light, see it from a completely different point of view, one that will warm the heart, comfort the spirit, and make you see happiness where there was sorrow.

Read this book sometime and you'll forever be grateful you did!

This is a great resource for everyone. I used some of the material at my mother's bedside during her dying process. I provided my "own" and personal touches to the ritual and my christian uncle stated it was the most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed. The beauty of my faith is that it is my own personal relationship with the universe and I appreciated the tips and advice of others that have also experienced my situation. I performed my mother's memorial service to a very spiritually mixed group of friends and family members. While this is the most difficult service I have ever been asked to create, it offered everyone comfort and closure by truly remembering and celebrating the human experience of a wonderful spirit. While no one piece of written material can heal your sadness from such an event I really appreciated the assistance I received from this resource.

Jillian

I gifted a copy of this book to the Pastoral Care department of the children's hospital where I work. It was received with open minds and hearts. Pagan children and families face the same trials as those who walk other paths. This book will serve to support those in my community. It belongs on EVERY Pagan's bookshelf...it's on mine!
Tyla

With the dozens of songs, rituals, chants, meditations, and prayers in this book, Starhawk gives us a cornucopia of resources from which to borrow in times of death or serious illness of loved ones. As she puts it, grief is not conducive to the usual creativity/individuality approach to ritual design that we Pagans might prefer in happier times. Instead, it's so very helpful to have this guide with some well-crafted Pagan crossing over liturgy, at a time when you may be crazy with grief or very ill yourself. As in most Pagan texts, the author stresses that any of the suggested rituals can and should be modified to fit your particular situation and inspiration of the moment.

I highly recommend this book to anyone exploring a Pagan/nature-oriented/Wiccan religious path (and to those who are just curious about such paths), whether they are experiencing a death or not. It gives the most complete explanations of Pagan beliefs on the triple-soul, reincarnation, afterlife, etc. that I have personally seen. Most Pagan texts gloss over this area briefly because it is held as something you must explore and meditate about for yourself, to discover your own inclinations on the subject. However, I find Starhawk's detailed background information very helpful in suggesting different paths for readers to explore around death and reincarnation. Overall, an excellent text, written in a way that holds your attention and draws you nearer to the mysteries of the Great Spirit.

This is one of the greatest books I own. And I own a LOT! I don't say this about many texts, but NO PAGAN SHOULD BE WITHOUT THIS. I mean that wholeheartedly. It is compiled so brilliantly, and the rituals are pure, true and deep to the soul. It really embodies the experience of crossing over. Because we all deal with this, and MUST accept Death, as spiritualists and turners of the Tide, a resource like this is absolutely invaluable.

Please get a copy of this book. It will come in handy one day.

Blessings,

Colin Smith
Missoula, MT