The list author says: "I want to have a pageant baby so bad. Her stage name will be Exquizyte and I will pop a flipper in her mouth and get her a spray tan as soon as she flops out of my uterus. SO EXCITED!!!"
"Your child will steal the judges' hearts! Make sure it doesn't spit up on stage, the judges WILL deduct points. I think it would possibly help to fill your baby's mouth with some cotton balls before going on stage. Not only will it stop any spit up before it leaves the mouth, but it might muffle any crying or screaming."
"Some reviews of this book called it "disturbing," "disgusting," or "off-putting." I disagree. This book is a great resource to the devoted, high-glitz pageant mom. Many helpful hints and great inspiration photos grace the pages of this little gem."
"Everything looks better with a little bit of B-L-I-N-G---INCLUDING YOUR BABY!! rhinestones: hundreds should be added to everything your baby wears on pageant day from the bottle to the thong diaper. Bedazzle that!"
"Everyone knows, when it comes to pageant hair: Bigger is BETTER! Your baby probably doesn't have enough hair right now to curl and style. The better option is to staple one of these little numbers onto that soft little skull and parade the new do in front of the judges! Don't forget to smile!!!!"