The Paper Doorway [Audiobook, Unabridged] [Audio Cassette]

Dean Koontz (Author), John Ritter (Reader)

Book Description

From "The Woggle Wrangler" to "The Wart", from the "Boogeyman" to "The Bear with One Green Ear", from "The Monstrous Broccoli Excuse" to "An Angry Poem by a Dragon's Mother", Dean Koontz's poetry is wickedly amusing fun.

With 225 million copies of his books sold, New York Times bestselling author Dean Koontz has been called "America's most popular suspense novelist" but that only begins to describe his boundless talent and imagination. Following the success of his previous children's book, Santa's Twin, Dean Koontz has created a richly imaginative book of poems - now available on audio!

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Move over, Shel Silverstein and Edward Lear; company's coming. From sneezing trees to reliable bunnies to food psychos, bestselling author Dean Koontz bowls his readers over with his wacky, wild, wonderful poetry in The Paper Doorway. Following the success of their earlier children's books, Oddkins and Santa's Twin, Koontz and illustrator Phil Parks embarked on an adventurous new path: funny verse (and nothing worse). With poems titled "A Cure for Ugly," "The Pig with Pride," "Stars, Mars, and Chocolate Bars," The Woggle Wrangler," "The Young Musician--Or Maybe Thug," and "You Get the Pickle You Asked For," accompanied by elaborate and witty black-and-white illustrations, the creative pair lets loose with a riotous collection that will tickle the funny bone of readers of all ages (especially those of the middle-school-boy variety). Sometimes gross, sometimes spooky, usually tongue-in-cheek, the verses tackle all subjects with equal gusto. (Ages 8 to 13) --Emilie Coulter --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Bestselling novelist Koontz rejoins his collaborator on Santa's Twin for this uneven roundup of poems whose humor sometimes misses the mark. All poems are narrated in the first-person; Parks portrays both boy and girl narrators. Among the most clever entries is the title poem, in which the narrator tells of losing himself literally in a book: "The book fell shut while I was inside/ And I escaped the things I can't abide:/ Doctors and dentists, lima beans and school,/ Homework, neckties, piano lessons, rules." In another winner, "The Monstrous Broccoli Excuse," the narrator insists that his or her dislike of this vegetable is mutual, explaining that the broccoli escapes from the fridge at night and slithers under the bed: "Oh, Mom, how can I eat, you see,/ A fearsome food that would eat me?" Some of Koontz's nonsense verse falls flat, as in the following brief ditty, "A Beverage with Antlers": "I like the taste of orange juice./ And I like the look of a moose./ However, I don't like moose juice,/ Nor do I want an orange moose." Often serving up surrealistic images, Parks's half-tone art echoes the hyperbole and whimsy of the verse, which Koontz's fans will likely pick up for their progeny. Ages 8-12.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Audio Cassette
• Publisher: HarperFestival; Unabridged edition (October 9, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0694525758
• ISBN-13: 978-0694525751
• Product Dimensions: 6.7 x 4.4 x 0.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,469,546 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I was born and raised in Pennsylvania where I graduated from Shippensburg State College (now Shippensburg University). When I was a senior in college, I won an Atlantic Monthly fiction competition and have been writing ever since. My first job after graduation was with the Appalachian Poverty Program, where I was expected to counsel and tutor underprivileged children on a one-to-one basis. During my first day on the job, I discovered that the previous occupier of my position had been beaten up by the very kids he had been trying to help and had landed in the hospital for several weeks. The following year was filled with challenge but also tension, and I was more highly motivated than ever to build a career as a writer. I wrote nights and weekends, which I continued to do after leaving the poverty program and going to work as an English teacher in a suburban school district outside Harrisburg. After a year and a half in that position, my wife, Gerda, made me an offer I couldn't refuse: "I'll support you for five years," she said, "and if you can't make it as a writer in that time, you'll never make it." By the end of those five years, Gerda had quit her job to run the business end of my writing career. Gerda and I, along with our dog, Trixie, live in southern California.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't be a ghoul...stay in school., November 2, 2001

By 

Janice Sims "a reader & a writer" (Central Florida) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Paper Doorway: Funny Verse and Nothing Worse (Hardcover)

My daughter, Rachel, and I got a kick out of the adventurous Oddkins about animated toys on the loose one dark and dreary night. We laughed until milk came out of our noses when we read the frightfully funny tale, Santa's Twin about an imposter Santa who leaves obnoxious things like snot in kids' stockings. In Rachel's opinion the more obnoxious, the better. So we were excited about the release of The Paper Doorway. Her favorite poem is Peg-Leg Zeg about a pirate who loves picking at crocodiles and subsequently gets several appendages eaten. What can I say, the kid has a weird sense of humor which, I suspect, she inherited from me! My personal favorite is A Cure For Ugly about a man who was horribly disfigured on the outside, but beautiful on the inside. What a wonderful way for collaborators, Koontz and Parks to get across the fact that books are the doorway to a kid's imagination and so much more. Dean's rhymes were exceptionally witty at times and poignant at others. Phil's illustrations beautifully complemented Dean's words. They're a winning team as evidenced by their long association, and the quality of their latest project, The Paper Doorway. Wholly delightful!

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Paper Doorway, November 13, 2001

By 

Sandi (Boise, Idaho) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Paper Doorway: Funny Verse and Nothing Worse (Hardcover)

I was taken by surprise to see a book of children's poetry written by Dean Koontz sitting on the poetry shelf of my local book store. His reputation is not from writing children's literature. I fould this book to be a wonderful collection of poems that are entertaining, easy to read, and cleverly written. Illustrations also help to make the poems come alive for the reader. A few of my favorite poems are The Paper Doorway (title poem), Plurals, and Do Trees Sneeze?

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, June 8, 2006

By 

Pug of doom "pepperloo_8" (Pluto) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Paper Doorway: Funny Verse and Nothing Worse (Hardcover)

Pros:
Great Poems
Great Illustrations
Great hiding of the mice.
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Cons
There aren't any

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They hid a mouse in every picture and out of the ninety-something pictures i found all but four.... but it took me a long time.

The Man With Four Eyes (my favourite poem)

I knew a man who had four eyes.
He claimed to be so very wise.
Two eyes in the back of his head
Closed only when he went to bed.
He saw ahead, he saw behind-
This, he said improved his mind.
His claim I don't mean to deride
But the bus that hit him came from the side.