Customer Reviews

A Paper Life

5 star:		(103)
4 star:		(33)
3 star:		(18)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

This book made for page turning reading. After learning about the childhood of Tatum O'Neil, I had to literally pause to absorb what I had just read. That this woman is alive today and functioning (by any definition) is a miracle. Overall, a fascinating read despite some of the uneven recounting of Tatum O'Neil's life story. Despite the neglect and abuse at her mother's hand, Tatum has forgiven her mother and the love she feels comes shining through each page that remembers her mother's later years in life. Even her ex-husband (although this portion of the book felt like it was written in reaction to John MacEnroe's book) was dealt with objectively. However, her father - Ryan O'Neal - is a whole other story! The anger she still feels toward her father is almost tangible. You need to read this book to find out if it is warranted....... Made me stop and think just how important parenting really is to any child. I don't even want to think about what life was like for her brothers Griffin and Redmond. The only gripe I had was the jump in timeline from childhood to marriage. I would have liked to hear more about the Ryan/Farrah factor in her life.

This is one of the liveliest star autobiographies I have read since the late John Phillips' "Papa John." Phew, who knew that the spunky little girl who became the youngest Oscar winner ever was living a childhood from Hell, saddled with a hopelessly, helplessly alcoholic mother and a father, the actor Ryan O'Neal, who emerges here as one of the most abusive parents in Hollywood, a monster right up there with Joan Crawford and Bing Crosby. If it wasn't bad enough that she had a selfish, self-absorbed, verbally and physically abusive father with a serious anger management problem, then, as Freud could have foretold, she chose the same kind of selfish, self-absorbed hothead to marry -- John McEnroe. What a loser this guy is, former "number one tennis player in the world" or not! Also portrayed in a bad light is Farrah Fawcett, who enabled Ryan O'Neal in their relationship for many years and apparently failed to intervene when he would rage and beat up his children in front of her. She must have a terribly low self-esteem also to have tolerated this abusive goon for so long! Now I hear that Farrah is about to have a reality TV series on a cable channel, the highlight of which is scheduled to be her marriage to Ryan! I hope readers of this book will have the decency to give this series and these two pathetic excuses for human beings a wide, wide berth, just as viewers turned away in droves from McEnroe's recent talk show. Bleahhh... It's time we demand some accountability for their actions from our celebrities, as well as our lying politicians and steroid-abusing athletes. At any rate, it's a wonder that Tatum survived her upbringing, apparently due to the positive influence of a twelve-step program. If her unfortunate brother Griffin and half-brother Redmond survive to tell their tales, those books will undoubtedly make for compelling reads as well. Once again this book proves that all that glisters is far from gold, and that the fair faces of Hollywood can hide some hideous demons inside.

Tatum is a brave honest woman who lived to tell the experiences that happen from the effect of seriously neglectful parents incapable of caring for her and her brothers. She need not feel ashamed of how the adults in her life during her childhood failed her. Adults in her life let her down when she was a child and she has no blame to bare in their failure. They are to blame she was not attended to in a loving kind manner and did not meet her growing emotional needs and just enjoy her wonderfulness of being a growing little girl.

She need not feel ashamed she is finally dealing with the legacy of her dysfunctional upbringing. The shame belongs with her father for never trying to make himself a better father for his kids so he could care for his children. Ryan it's never too late to say your sorry!! Loving someone means you NEED to say you are sorry.

Tatum is now dealing with her own children the way no one ever cared for her (I hope this is healing for her) she seems like a kind, sweet, loving, thoughtful attentive mother finally working on stopping the cycle of her unfortunate family legacy.

She deserves admiration for telling her truth and for living through her heart-breaking childhood and addiciton.

I just read a review just posted and it was brilliant unfortunately Lillian Fields you spelled O'Neal wrong but it didn't matter the message was received. I, too, was around the O'Neal family when Tatum and Griffin were growing up. Tatum told just enough in this book, she did not "bare all" as they say. She couldn't have safely not with Ryan still around. We know that. I am so sorry that Griffin and Tatum had to suffer such ordeals throughout their childhood but if it's true what they say that we pick our parents - somehow - we have to learn to refocus on what is good. We learn to leave the pain behind us, as Tatum clearly has and move forward. This chapter of Tatum's life is now clearly behind her. As far as her father, Ryan's obnoxious comments in People and Us Magazines about Tatum's book - I think he sounds so pompous, so angry and is so obviously lying that the public can see right through him. He is actually worse than Tatum wrote him to be and that is most likely because he is her father and she will always be his daughter no matter how badly he abused her. I will never be able to wash away my own firsthand memories of his responses to her success as an actress. Sometimes it is hard to forgive and forget. I think the best we can do sometimes is just hope to forget.

I read this with my mouth hanging open. I mean, I knew Ryan O'Neal was a terrible father, but I had no idea just how terrible.

My grandmother was an entertainment journalist and a close friend of Tatum O'Neal's mother, Joanna Moore. I played with Tatum and Griffin when we were all children -- pre-"Paper Moon"- and I remember Tatum as a vibrant, funny, happy child.

But this was before Ryan O'Neal cheated on Joanna Moore, dumped her, and eventually succedded in having her locked up in a mental health facility for a period of time. He also actively conspired to prevent her from having ANY contact with her own children, something he was able to accomplish by virtue of his (then) considerable power in Hollywood.

I remember listening to Joanna Moore sobbing on my grandmother's couch as my grandmother promised to try to reason with Ryan and get him to allow her to see her children. She also had to help Joanna get to talk to her kids on their birthdays by placing calls to boarding schools on her behalf since Ryan O'Neal had forbidden school authorities to allow Joanna to talk to the kids.

How horrible and ironic that all these years later, John McEnroe decided to punish Tatum O'Neal for her own (admitted) drug problems by attempting to remove her from her kids' lives altogether. And once again, as the man with the bigger career and bigger bank account, he was able to do the same thing that Ryan O'Neal did to Joanna Moore.

This book is fast paced, cleanly written and brutally honest. Of course many people won't want to believe it or will call Tatum O'Neal a liar, but that's what happens to many, if not most, survivors of childhood abuse of all kinds.

Best of luck to Tatum and her children from my family.

Katie Allison Granju
Knoxville, TN

The life of Hollywood offspring is bad enough, but to be a neglected child star is even worse. That is at the heart of Tatum O'Neal's autobiography "A Paper Life" -- but the book itself has an uncomfortable bent, even as it unflinchingly looks at her life, her marriage, and her drug addictions.

Tatum's parents were a quickly-divorced couple, who managed to produce two kids in less than a year before they split. Tatum and her brother Griffin lived with their addicted, neglectful mother for several years, before the young girl (and not her brother) was swept away by her dad, Ryan O'Neal. But life with Ryan wasn't the paradise she thought it would be: He was abusive and a blatant womanizer, with amours ranging from Bianca Jagger to Farrah Fawcett to Ursula Andress.

Tatum soon became a star in her own right, even winning an Oscar for her role in the movie "Paper Moon" -- which only made Ryan resent her more. After breaking loose of her father, she married tennis star John McEnroe and had three children, but his volatile temper and her escalating drug addiction almost destroyed her life.

How I fell to the bottom of the food chain and yet dragged myself back up -- that type of memoir is usually a bit of an uplift. And it's remarkable that O'Neal was able to undergo many of the experiences she did, and still be alive to talk about it, even if her life is apparently still far from perfect.

O'Neal gives an unvarnished, unromanticized look at Hollywood and the life of a child star, especially one who was forced to grow up before she was emotionally ready to. Stars such as Melanie Griffith (a fling of her father's) and Michael Jackson (back when he looked human) show up in the pages briefly during her adolescent years, and O'Neal pulls no punches.

Unfortunately, "A Paper Life" isn't quite an autobiography. It feels more like eavesdropping on a private therapy session; a catharsis on paper. That focus on the negative is certainly understandable -- O'Neal was an abused child, a neglected one who searched for parental figures. Her life was undoubtedly rotten for a long time.

There's nothing wrong with revealing that side, with all its phantom pain and blood, but after awhile it gets rather uncomfortable to read only the bad, never the good, and the intense focus that every fight or attack has. The only good experiences that Tatum relates are linked to the terrible ones, such as living temporarily with Cher because of her rotten home life.

"A Paper Life" brutally rips away the veils, revealing Tatum O'Neal's difficult life. But be forewarned: It's less an autobiography than a chronological therapy session.

The readability factor is what prompts me to give this painful and poignant memoir four stars. It's plainly written, often refers to journal entries and is extremely believable. It's not a book that will change your life, but it clearly illustrates a change in the life of Tatum O'Neal.

How can you not root for the little girl who gave us Paper Moon? That movie and her Oscar (holding the honor of being the youngest Oscar winner in history) will always be a reference point for a youth and innocence that, as we find out in A Paper Life, was clearly corrupted by punishing, selfish parents. Further, that Tatum O'Neal chose to marry the bad boy of tennis, a man who made a career of being rude and insulting, is really no surprise--especially if you know anything about Freudian psychology. So, the well-publicized responses to this memoir from Tatum's father and ex-husband are not surprising. They're shameful.

In this work, Tatum O'Neal wears her heart on her sleeve. There is NOTHING shameful in this. I can only congratulate her for following the road to recovery and allowing her strengths to shine through. This is an important work for many parents to read, to know that no matter how privileged or adored a child may seem to the outside world, all children are human with very real needs. We parents have a tremendous influence on our children and an enormous responsibility. In spite of her own parents setting a terrible example in providing love and acceptance, Tatum O'Neal has broken the cycle by putting her children in the highest place she could--against all the odds.

Michele Cozzens, Author of A Line Between Friends and The Things I Wish I'd Said.

I got alot out of this very interesting book. I saw Tatum on Oprah and decided to buy this book via amazon. It's a fast read; I began late Sat. afternoon and finished the last third this morning, which is a sunday. I couldn't put it down and if anyone has/had lived with alcoholic family members I highly recommend this book. You won't feel alone. And to understand this disease and how it is generational, how it is genetic is important to know. I don't doubt that Tatum suffered greatly; the alcoholic in his most weakened state inflicts the most damage and harm by dragging down the one's closest to him, to their level in this sad pathetic state. I saw alot of my father in Ryan, and I saw alot of Tatum in me... sassy, rebellious, Irish,refusing to back down, just as stubborn and justas defiant. The book is poignant, sad and meant for anyone who's life has been grossly affected by alcoholism, and by the abuse that always goes with any addiction to alcohol and/or drugs. While McEnroe and Ryan O'Neal refute her story, I believe her story. It is written from her side, and her pain and her perspective. Who I feel the most compassion for, are her and her mother who took abuse, and for her mom who never did quite get recovery it seems, who lost her kids so early on,which must have given her such great pain, yet she couldn't come back.. she was too far gone to getto that place to function whole again.. and whatis so wonderful is that Tatum took care of hermom since her teens, instead of resenting her fornot being the perfect mom or the perfect role model. This is a very compelling book for anyone but most especially for anyone affected by the afflicted, or afflicted themselves. I loved it.

I bought this book today, and read the entire thing from cover to cover in a couple hours. Never before had I read a book that made me read the whole thing the minute I read the first few chapters. This is the notorious tell-all autobiography of Tatum O'Neal, in which she reveals all about her parents' despicable parenting skills, run-ins with the who's who of show business, and of course her marriage and family with John McEnroe. You also get a lot of her opinions on the movies she made, past and present.

Paper Life is an extremely heavy read, and O'Neal does not sugarcoat or gloss over anything. She discusses all events as they were, be them beautiful, frightening, or depressing. When reading it, you have to think that it took a lot of courage to write it and publish it, especially since her father, ex-husband, and other famous names will probably feel angered by the revelations. Through it all, though, you never lose any sympathy for Tatum O'Neal, especially since she is clearly not asking for pity.

Tatum O'Neal's legendary-in-the-making autobiography is engrossing to say the least. However, one must be warned that if they are expecting a light, trashy tell-all read in the form of Christina Crawford's Mommie Dearest or LaToya Jackson's book, they will be getting far more than they bargained for. I will admit that there is her share of dirty laundry that O'Neal airs, but the book serves more of a purpose as a personal reflection or as a tale about one surviving a living hell, and coming out in one piece.

I have been a fan of Tatum O'Neal's for a few years, and this book will surely make her more. If you haven't picked up the book and read yet, do it, and remember to fasten your seat belts.

This book was exactly as I expected, good thick dysfunctional family stew, told from the perspective of the "youngest Oscar winner in history". To those who feel as if tatum is whining- you just don't get it. People are still so star struck and filled with envy of media idols that they think that Tatum should have just taken her lumps since she "got lucky" because she may have lived in a hollywood mansion... and Ryan O'neal couldn't have been that bad- look at how nice he looks on film. (These reviewers must have a warped kind ofperverted envy of sordid drama)
I don't even have the words to describe how nauseating and enraging to me the idea that a narcissistic egomanaiacal sociopath like Ryan O'Neal can get away with that kind of behavior- child abuse and neglect. Sad Sad sad ! His only use for his daughter is when he can somehow bask in her reflected glory for his own career advancement.Tatum grew up without any social skills, virtually no parental support, amidst an alcohol, drug, sex and rage addled household.
From the frying pan into the fire, it's easy to see what she found attractive in tennis champ McEnroe. However, you don't have to be a genius to have guessed that this wasn't going to work.It's quite easy to believe that the private at-home personality and character of Jm was not that far from the public persona we have all been witness too- a competitive, vulgar, abrasive egomaniacal spoilsport with no sense of fair play , and in my mind no charm whatsoever. Facts speak for themselves, JM made the mother of his first child sign a prenup when she was barely legal, and the after trying and failing to win approval after being a breeder for his next two children , Tatum splits.
The next part of the story is somehat glossed over, a ten year drug binge during which time Tatum must hand over her three kids to Ogre JM who now has another wife and kid. I agree that Tatum isn't really that articulate about her recovery, and in perspective, she is newly sober- but I do hope for the best for her.She is relatively young, and she appears to be a good parent, I hope that this is the first step in her recovery of her whole being, the tough part is over- hopefully. Congratulations for her act of lifting the veil of secrecy and hypocrisy that we all conspire to create when we keep our Hollywood idols on a pedestal.