Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility [Paperback]

Chick Moorman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 25, 2003

THE RIGHT WORDS FOR EVERY SITUATION

Do you find yourself in those maddening situations where you sound like a broken record when talking to your child? Your preschooler won't decide what she wants to wear, regardless of how many times you insist that she just choose; your struggling third grader says "I can't do math," and your "Sure you can!" reassurance falls like a dead weight; your daughter smears on black eyeliner just before the bus arrives, and your daily protests are muted by hers.

WHAT'S LEFT TO SAY? LOTS.

In Parent Talk, a must-have for every parent with a preschool to high school-age child, Chick Moorman tells you what to say so that you can communicate more effectively -- and peacefully -- with your child in every circumstance, including:

• The morning mad dash to dress, eat, and leave the house on time

• The nightly struggle to focus on homework

• The endless car ride of exhaustion-induced whining

• The meltdown in the mall

For instance, Moorman's antidote to the "I can't" loop is "Act as if you've done this before." With Moorman's help, you'll learn the words to use and the words to avoid to end power struggles and the fruitless conversation loops you're stuck in.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Language acquisition isn't just a toddler's job: Moorman takes parenting common sense-the notion that affirming, loving speech is crucial to a child's growth and self-esteem-to the level of a "skills-based program" of parenting language in this earnest volume. In a new introduction (Moorman originally self-published the book), he encourages parents to select a few of his "Parent Talk" phrases and practice them until they come naturally; gradually, they can move on to fluency. Parents, he says, should use language that encourages their child to make choices, learn "response-ability" (healthy responses to challenges and setbacks) and seek solutions-e.g., "How come you picked your grumpy mood?"; "So your dad says you're grounded. How did you produce that result?"; and "I know you can handle it." Some of Moorman's phrases sound extremely awkward, while some familiar ones-"You did a good job"-are verboten. (Praise that evaluates rather than describes or appreciates can make children into "praise junkies" whose sense of worth is dependent on others' compliments instead of their own confidence, Moorman warns.) It would take an extremely conscientious parent to employ all these phrases consistently, but Moorman's basic message of encouraging child empowerment and family solidarity through healthy parental communication is an important one, and many of his suggestions feel right on target.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Howard Glasser author of Transforming the Difficult Child Parent Talk adds great dimension to the language of parenting, especially for those parents who want to build self-esteem. Moorman infuses the endeavor with humor, heart, and thoughtfulness.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone; Original edition (February 25, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743236246
• ISBN-13: 978-0743236249
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #123,386 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I am a former classroom teacher with over 40 years of experience in the field of education.I believe it is time to move away from the current emphasis on informational education and move to celebrating the value of transformational education.

I have four grandchildren ranging in age from one to 18 years in age.

As a cancer survivor, I have a heartfelt connection to all those who face serious illness.I found through the process of dealing with cancer that I am one tough son-of-a-gun.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaching a grandparent New Tricks, February 13, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Boca Raton, Fl) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages (Hardcover)

As a grandmother if two small grandchildren, I felt the need to further learn how to be a more respondsible grandparent. I turned to "Parent Talk", so I could learn how to encourage self-esteem, respondsible behavior, and motivate the children to be the best they could be. An interesting and unexpected benefit was that, "Parent Talk" helped me communicate more effectively in all my relationships not just with the children. If you are interested in empowering your children or grandchildren or others, "Parent Talk " is the book for you. I think it should be on every school and home book shelf.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Changed the climate in our household, August 26, 2002

By 

Kasey J. McQueen "book lover" (Franklin, MI) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages (Hardcover)

I saw Chick Moorman speak about Parent Talk and ultimately read the book at a time when I needed some guidance on parenting a 4 year old. I shared Chick's feelings of respect and responsibility for my son, but didn't know how to phrase these concepts "in the heat of the moment". This book taught me the way to say what I want my child to hear - that I love him and respect him and that I want to teach him to be responsible for his actions.

Each page is an example you can put into use immediately. It's common sense all good parents have been searching for.I have recommended this book to ever parent I know.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That B, January 17, 2004

By 

J.G.Baker (Baytown, TX USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility (Paperback)

This is a great book! After 20 years of working with children, I thought I knew all the ways to speak to a child. But this book has given me new insight into the impact that our words have on children. It shows examples of how we inadvertently teach our children 'learned helplessness' and ways to teach them the process of making decisions, handling everyday happenings, and to make their own choices. I have also been amazed at how the advice in this book works with my teenager! So I ventured a step further and have used the advice in this book with co-workers, too, with some amazing results! It is easy to read and refer back to when necessary. Every parent should have a copy of this book handed to them when their children are born.