Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys [Paperback]

Gregory C Keck (Author), L G Mansfield (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 15, 2009

In his newest release, Dr. Gregory C. Keck offers new insights and parenting strategies relative to adolescents, especially adopted adolescents. Parents will find humor and relief as they realize their role in their child’s journey in the adoption process.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Your adopted adolescent proclaims, “I can’t wait until I turn eighteen so I can leave!” And you celebrate your future liberation.

If this scenario is too familiar, you’re not alone. And you’ve chosen the right resource for parenting strategies, tips, new suggestions, and insights to manage tough situations in your family. Dr. Gregory C. Keck—adoptive parent, psychologist, and adoption expert—helps you understand and appreciate the complicated journey that adopted adolescents face.

And once you understand your role in their journey, you will be more effective in your role as a parent.

About the Author

Gregory C. Keck, PhD, is a psychologist and adoptive parent of two sons who were adopted during adolescence. He founded the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, which specializes in treating children and adolescents who have experienced trauma and developmental interruptions. Dr. Keck is also the coauthor of Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: NavPress (June 15, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1600062814
• ISBN-13: 978-1600062810
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #98,420 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #62 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption
  • #65 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Teen Health > Sexuality

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great resource for parents and professionals, August 27, 2009

By 

Kim Stevens "Kim Stevens" (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys (Paperback)

Keck's latest book, Parenting Adopted Adolescents, is a thoroughly enjoyable read - conversational in tone, filled with practical advice, and humorous without being flip. The tack Keck takes is there in the title subtext: appreciation. It serves us parents well to check in on that emotion and value. Through our appreciation of our adolescent children in all that they are, we become better parents and they closer to achieving their best.

The book is organized around some very basic concepts. Beginning with normative developmental stages, moving through the core issues of adoption, trans -racial and -cultural issues, attachment, sexuality, therapeutic interventions and more, Keck addresses virtually every subject that parents negotiate on a daily basis.

The format is one I appreciate when reading any "help" book. Clinical information and analysis is followed by case examples that bring to life the points the author is making. As I read, I could see my family and myself in the stories - both optimal and hopelessly futile - and gained a sense that we all are muddling through this journey together. Sure we make mistakes, but they can be ameliorated with time, patience, understanding and acceptance.

Both logic and the obvious memory of once being an adolescent shape the very practical advice given throughout the book. Some of which I've actually used and seen work! Among some of the gems are the following:
* That although much of an adolescent's behavior is intentional, i.e. he meant to do it, the consequences and resultant adult feelings are NOT the intent. "When adopted adolescents reject others, their intention is usually not to cause hurt but to avoid being rejected themselves."
* Lighten up on the myriad ways adolescents try to express their individuality and find their way. "Adults typically talk about peer pressure only when discussing negative[s]... It is rare to accuse an honor student of studying so hard just because his friends do."
* "When parents believe that a single magical strategy will resolve all psychological or behavioral problems, they tend to rely on the strategy as opposed to relying on the relationship with their child."
* Try talking to your child(ren) the way you do people who are not in your family and see what the result is. Conversely, and perhaps more risky, try talking to your colleagues the way you talk to your adolescent and observe the result. Hmmm...
* And finally... Avoid control battles at all costs
* Win the ones you take on
* Pick and choose your battles carefully

The various challenges that adolescents can throw our way are described not as problems, but as expected and predictable developmental stages. In this way the reader is able to normalize what may be feeling like a completely out-of-control existence. For example, when referring to the "honeymoon period" that all adoptive parents know about, Keck draws a comparison to a new employee being on her best behavior at the job before settling in and becoming comfortable. It is a refreshing break from much of the writing out there about adopted children and adolescents that talks about pathology, projected outcomes, and warning signs. While these are important issues, not to be lightly dismissed, it is wise to start at a place of strength, hope and normalcy.

Kim Stevens, Project Manager, North American Council on Adoptable Children

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical advice that works!, September 17, 2009

By 

Tammy Mahan - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys (Paperback)

Gregory Keck., PhD knows what he is talking about and has the experience to back it up. His approach in offering advice with humor, in everyday language, and with his own experience as an adoptive dad made this book an easy read. This book is full of helpful insights about teens weither adoptive and biological. Instead of getting my head filled with terms and facts that I can't use, I was given practical advice and knowledge to inspire my adolescence to get through the most difficult journey of their lives. I have found Mr.Keck advice very helpful.

Tammy Mahan A foster/adoptive mom and social worker for the last 21 years in child Welfare.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Adopted adolescents can be understood and appreciated!, September 9, 2009

By 

Paula Williams Andree "LISW-S" (Columbus, OH USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys (Kindle Edition)

I am so happy that this book was released before my three adopted children reach adolescence. The hopeful message that Dr. Keck shares leaves me excited rather than fearful when I think about sharing my childrens' journey. Dr. Keck's blend of humor, guidance and common sense, grounded in sound developmetal theory, has me convinced that it will be possible to enjoy my children during this period of their lives. If that seems impossible to you, you need to read this book! Dr. Keck's ability to reframe many adolescent behaviors as necessary and appropriate developmental tasks gives me as a parent new ways to interpret and respond to my children. Dr. Keck explores issues such as identity, loss and abandonment, challenging behariors, sexuality,and transracial and transcultural issues. Each chapter left me feeling more prepared. This is a book I will be referring to often. Reading it was like having a conversation with a trusted friend.