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Parenting From the Inside Out Paperback – April 22, 2004


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Parenting From the Inside Out + The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher; Reprint edition (April 22, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1585422959
  • ISBN-13: 978-1585422951
  • Product Dimensions: 0.7 x 6 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (81 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,081 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Mary Hartzell has helped me immeasurably in my quest to be the best possible parent I can be (I often fail). Her research and hands-on practice both as a teacher, and as the director of First Presbyterian Nursery School in Santa Monica, have enabled her to write and create some of the most invaluable resources for parents. Her book, Parenting from the Inside Out, is a must-have for any parent...I gave a friend of mine a copy of Parenting... and she said, "This book is changing my life. I like my kids again."
-Gweneth Paltrow, Goop.com

About the Author

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., received his medical degree from Harvard University and completed his postgraduate medical education at the University of California, Los Angeles. The author of The Developing Mind, a pioneering book on neurobiology and attachment, he is currently an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine.
Mary Hartzell, M. Ed., is a child-development specialist and parent educator. She has taught children, parents, and teachers for more than thirty years and is the director of the renowned First Presbyterian Preschool of Santa Monica, California.

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Customer Reviews

Highly recommended for all parents.
Ronald J Schoengold
I found this book very interesting and supportive of a sensitive style of parenting.
L Spark
I will certainly make good use of it in my client and teaching work.
Yael Clark

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

144 of 147 people found the following review helpful By Ann Douglas on September 29, 2006
Format: Paperback
While other authors have focused their attention on the brain of the developing child (What's Going on in There by Lise Eliot, Ph.D. and The Scientist in the Crib by Alison Gopnik, PhD, Andrew N. Meltzoff, Ph.D., and Patricia K. Kuhl, Ph.D.), in their book Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help you Raise Children Who Thrive, Siegel and Hartzell zero in on what's going on inside the parent's brain -- specifically how new research in the areas of neurobiology and attachment theory can help parents to understand why they parent the way they do and what they can do to use that knowledge to become better parents.

The authors stress the importance of making peace with your past so that you can avoid repeating any negative patterns of family interaction with your own kids: "In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself and parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patterns from the past. Understanding our lives can free us from the otherwise predictable situation in which we recreate the damage to our children that was done to us in our own childhoods....By making sense of our lives we can deepen a capacity for self-understanding and bring coherence to our emotional experience, our views of the world, and our interactions with our children."

The book's content is excellent, but it's pretty heavy-going at times. The authors offer the reader a mix of straight narrative, introspective journaling exercises, and lessons in neurobiology. It's all fascinating stuff, but it requires a lot of focus and attention. Definitely not to be attempted with a child in the room!
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100 of 102 people found the following review helpful By aty on September 25, 2011
Format: Paperback
Being an avid reader, I'm appreciative of good writing for writing itself, which I appreciated reading this book, but for practical purposes, being a new parent, this book was very vague. The basic message during the first 3/4 of the book was, "Treat your own depression and get therapy so you can be a better parent." OK, nothing new there. It was not until the last 1/4 of the book that the author gave a few concrete examples of how to "parent from the inside out." Therefore, this book may be more appropriate for a college psychology course than a practical parenting book.

I made a few notes of key paragraphs for me to review as my daughter grows up:

"Every day we miss opportunities for making true connections because instead of listening and responding appropriately to our children we respond only from our own point of view and fail to make a connection to their experience. When our children tell us what they think or how they feel, it is important to respect their experience, whether or not it's the same as our own. Parents can listen to and understand their children's experience rather than tell them that what they think and feel isn't valid.

The following examples may help to illustrate these ideas. Imagine that your child is riding his tricycle and falls off. It looks to you more like a a surprise than an injury, but he starts crying, to which you respond, `You're not hurt. You shouldn't cry. You're a big boy.' Your child feels hurt, whether it is his body or his pride, and yet you tell him that his experience isn't a valid one. Now consider how the child might feel if you gave a contingent response: 'It surprised you when you went over that bump and you fell off onto the grass. Are you hurt?
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62 of 66 people found the following review helpful By T. Allender on November 18, 2004
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This parenting book is far more than a "how-to". It examines the importance of the parent child relationship from the perspective of the child's neurological and social development. It challenges parents to examine their own upbringing and to evaluate how their experiences as a child now influence their functioning as a parent. The premises exlpained in the book are supported by recent breakthroughs in brain research. As a psychotherapist who works with children and famlies, this is the book I recommend the most to my clients. At times the writing in the book is somewhat techinical in nature, but there are many stories and exercies for parents that are beneficial even if the reader doesn't understand all of the language.
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41 of 44 people found the following review helpful By R. Mann on September 10, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book is informative, insightful, and a must read for everyone not just parents. It will help you understand what is going on in all your relationships (especially your relationships with your children). Participate with the book: do the exercises at the end of each chapter, and you will grow and mature. I am a Marriage Family Therapist and I have all my clients read the book to enhance their therapy and enable them to progress at a faster pace.
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Maverick MOM on January 28, 2005
Format: Paperback
Some readers may find this book "too scientific for a parenting book" but I found it utterly facinating and ate up every word.

The age old "nature vs. nurture" debate is examined and the newer concept of nurture effecting nature emerges with either positive or negative outcomes depending on the experiences of the child and the effects of their developing brain.

At times I had to take breaks from reading it to allow for integration of all the information, but the effect was that this book changed my parenting philosophy and approach, because instead of asking "what is going on in those little heads??" Now I know.
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