Customer Reviews

Parenting with Grace: Catholic Parent's Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

If you want to do more than: raise an "okay" kid, in a grow-up, get-a-job, basically-decent-person sort of sense, then this book is for you! This book is about raising your children to be all God wants them to be (i.e. SAINTS!) and gives parents very practical suggestions on how to accomplish this. The author also cites numerous writings by our Holy Father and other esteemed Catholics that promote a parenting style in line with the values and ideals of the Catholic Church. This book specifically encourages the idea of attatchment parenting,(in a society that seems to practice de-tatchment parenting),which I found very gratifying since my husband and I try to do that anyway -and again the author cites specific Catholic sources to reinforce this viewpoint. I also think the author's appendix in the back about why he can't spank, and his critical examination of corporal punishment is one of the best Christian arguments against spanking that I have read. I can't say enough about how much I love this book! While the bookstores are stocked with many books on how not to let your children manipulate you (i.e. Babywise and others), and how to make your children fit into your lifestyle(instead of re-arranging yours to put your children first), this book is a refreshing and timely reminder that children are a gift from God and as such, deserve to be parented in a way fitting of their dignity as a human being! I intend to give it as a gift to the Catholic parents that I know. Do yourself a favor and buy one for yourself and one for a friend- they (and their children) will thank you for it!

This book is my parenting BIBLE!! I can't say enough good things about it--each and every chapter is INVALUABLE. I am so glad I found something that can help me figure out how to handle my kids at every bend in the road, in virtually every situation. It advocates attachment parenting and loving-guidance discipline, and also gives you a plethora of techniques and tells exactly when and how to use them (i.e. "everyday discipline" vs. bigger, more stubborn issues). He clarified the reality that family life is not just a mundane distraction--a family should have goals, a vision of where they are going in life, etc. He talks extensively about how all family members must have a solid rapport between them for discipline to be effective, for love to be felt, etc. He clarifies the question of spanking from both a spiritual and a scientific perspective. He goes into detail about how to handle the various stages of childhood, from loving the infant to "taming" the toddler to handling the teenager--gracefully. He outlines how to foster virtues, morals, a love for religion and a love for Jesus in your children; he tells how to make your family into the "domestic church" Pope John Paul calls it to be. I wouldn't even waste time with any other parenting or discipline book--this one more than covers all your questions and worries. I refer to it at least once a week, and it gives me the guidance I need to be an effective yet loving parent to my kids. It wil literally change your outlook on family life; it will give you new hope and make parenting a truly gratifying experience. The title couldn't be more appropriate--now I really have the information I need to raise "perfect" kids! If you REALLY unconditionally love your children and want them to be the best they can be, you will be thrilled to have this book!

Whether you're Catholic or not, if you are a parent you will benefit tremendously from this book. I'm a Catholic parent and I'm really thankful that someone took the time and trouble to organize the vast plethora of parenting techniques out there so that it is easy to see their place within the structure of a Catholic parenting paradigm. The author is very knowledgeable of both scripture and church doctrine and explains their relevance to raising children. The step by step techniques for dealing with the various stages of a person's maturation are excellent. He also has little quizzes that you can use to help elucidate the areas where your parent-child relationship may need help. He has a superb treatise on why spanking is not a suitable discipline technique. I can't say enough about the excellent blend of philosophy, practical application and religion that the author has put together in this book. He is an organizational genius. Read this book!

This book gives a great overview of parenting but unlike other parenting books I have read, it goes a step farther and gives very detailed examples for all stages of childhood and teen years. Popcak's ideas on Catholic parenting are supported by many quotes from John Paul II. This is a book worth reading and re-reading

This book is full of wonderful disciplining advice while always keeping your child's dignity intact. Everything from implementing "time-outs," handling tantrums, developing trust, modeling responsibility, creating a loving rapport with your child is included. It is a very detailed, how-to book - we started implementing his ideas immediately, and saw results immediately. This is a book that reminds us to love our children the same way Jesus loves us.

First the positive.....there were elements presented that I really enjoyed and found helpful being that I already practice a more positive discipline approach. The chapter on "Everyday Discipline That Makes a Difference" based on educating the child in virtue and building relationships was very good. I appreciate the concrete examples in illustrating a particular point; in parenting books, this is most helpful. And as a practicing Catholic, it was nice to read a parenting book that included words from the Holy Father. I also liked the Family Mission Statement idea in order to help foster the virtues (which don't get a lot of space in any parenting book) in our children.

However, as I was reading the book, there were several sections that were particularly unsettling and I found that unless one is already naturally bent toward attachment parenting (or possibly latently), this book may prove a bit disconcerting. Understandibly, most parenting books claim to be the "preferred" way to parenting but this book, to me, goes beyond that because of the theological claims it seems to make.

I found the following paragraph troubling....

"Lisa and I are not so foolish as to think that the methods we present are the only ways to parent. But it is our opinion that the methods we describe represent an invitation to enjoy "the next level" of parenting.....Just as other Christian denominations possess some truth, but the Catholic Church has "the fullness of truth" other parents are capable of having good relationships with their children, but we believe the parents who avail themselves of the parenting style we present here are capable of entering into the 'fullness of family life'."(pg. 137)

It is obvious to anyone that there is not only one way to parent but I found it interesting that the authors left out any words from that sentence which would imply other parenting methods as also being **good and effective** in imparting Christian virtues and raising holy children. On the contrary, from the remaining sentences they instead strongly imply that anyone who chooses not to follow their method of parenting are falling short on "the fullness of family life" and are parenting on a "lower level". There is no Church authority or teaching that backs up such a claim and I find it unsettling that they took it upon themselves to assume it. I must admit, my impressions of the book were a bit marred from then on.

Further on, the authors then strongly imply that unless one is practicing attachment parenting and the style chosen by the authors, one is failing to love their children with as much generosity as they. Quoting from the book: "As the parable of the ungrateful servant teaches, God calls us to model the same generosity He shows to us. Yes, it would be enough to be a good, loving conventional parent. But by God's own example, Catholic Christians are called to be more than "enough". We are called to be "perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect". That is, perfect in love."(pg.162) Isn't this similar to saying that if we don't all give up everything we own and go to India to serve the poor as Mother Teresa did we aren't being generous enough. Personal holiness or "perfection" is not confined to any method of parenting any more than it is to a particular vocation, career, spirituality, or devotion. To a Catholic, being perfected in love consists in lovingly and generously doing the will of God, and God's will varies for each individual. Perfection in generosity does not consist in how long one nurses a child, whether or not one has a family bed or wears a sling.

Athough the book has some good practical tips for any parent, especially for those who already espouse attachment parenting, I respectfully disagree with their extraneous theological assertions. I also was turned off completely by the arrogant (for lack of a better word) undertones.

I would also recommend the authors to read "Story of a Family" to see how the parents, who themselves are up for canonization, raised the greatest saint of modern times. It's interesting to note that they were a dual-income family, complete with servants, who sent their children to boarding school. (St. Therese was sent away to live with a wet nurse for several months b/c of health problems). Recently canonized St. Gianna Beretta Molla was a physician so it seems highly unlikely that she practiced attachment parenting either

As new Catholics, we very much appreciate how Gregory Popcak bases parenting theory on Catholic theology. I'm not a big fan of parenting books, because most of them do not allow for the flexibility of a parent using his/her own style and adjusting to the child's individual personality, but Popcak's suggestions really do allow for this.

Three caveats -- I found this book to be really, really Catholic, so a non-Catholic person may have trouble with it. Also, Mr. Popcak is apparently a typical baby boomer, so if you don't like droll humor, punned section headers that are supposed to be amusing, and lots of acronyms, you might as well forgive him for it before you ever sit down to read this book.

Finally, though Mr. Popcak attempts to at least acknowledge what a dual-working family have to face in particular, he doesn't have the personal experience to really come through. I actually wrote and asked him if he'd consider writing a parenting book like this specifially for families in which both parents work, but he didn't seem too interested in the idea. Too bad, because there are a lot of us out there. Mr. Popcak, if you're reading this, I'd still be willing to help you -- at least get you in touch with AP parents who both work so you can interview them.

I loved this book!!

Popcak begins with a general overview of his approach to parenting, which is attachment-based. He does a good job of explaining why attachment parenting is the most evolved approach to parenting, b/c it corresponds to the Church's (as developed by JPII) emerging understanding of love as self-donative. He presents one chapter on "everyday" techniques of parenting which are positive, relationship focused techniques, then follows this with a chapter on techniques to use in emergency situations only -- included here are time-outs and the other "technique-y" approaches most of us are familiar with.

I found it refreshing that Popcak thinks there IS a place for traditional techniques like time-outs, natural consequences, etc. but emphasizes that these shouldn't be our daily techniques, and that without a strong child-parent attachment, any technique is of limited use. A child simply has no motivation to restore harmony to a relationship that is non-existent or which brings him mostly loneliness and pain.

The book then lays out separate chapters on each of the 5 stages of development: Infancy, toddlerhood, early school years, etc. I appreciated having this commentary on how to parent effectively at each stage, b/c each stage is so different in terms of challenges (and joys!) and what can be expected of the child.

I was looking for a nice Catholic parenting book, and a friend loaned me a few. I was alarmed that spanking was advocated in them. I purchased Popcak's book because I am a traditional and faithful Catholic, but also practice attachment parenting. I am relieved to have this resource for my parenting vocation.

This book is wonderful. Although it is a Catholic book, and is written from a Catholic perspective (which, being Catholic, made me love the book even more!), the book provides a philosophy of parenting that would benefit ALL children. This book supported a lot of what I felt in my heart was the right way to parent and provided a LOT more information to more effectively raise my children. It describes the childhood I wish I had had! Loving, yet firm. I plan on buying it for new parents-to-be, so they can read and learn from the book BEFORE the children arrive.

I have 4 small kids and am a fairly recent convert. When I heard about the Popcak's radical anti-spanking stance I thought I would find their book mushy and liberal, so I borrowed it from a friend. But I liked it so much that I actually bought 2 copies, one for me and one for my sister (who is not even Catholic).

The Popcaks speak from experience, and they really showed me in this book that attachment parenting, and even a no-spank mentality, does NOT mean permissiveness. The way to reach your children is to form their consciences through love and example. Loving them and having expectations of them inspire them to obey from the heart. This ensures that what we really want for our kids -- for them to be happy, loving, productive adults -- is going to happen.

Some features of the book are "quizzes" that give you a more concrete sense of what they are talking about when they speak of having rapport with your child, etc. I think their suggestions for building a loving home are great, their discipline suggestions and explanations are very useful, and also their section that walks through each stage of childhood and describes parenting issues, suggestions, and what virtues the child should be learning at each stage.

When you are focused on behavior modification, you tend to look for mere outward compliance. The Popcak's way is a LOT more labor- intensive, a lot more parent-involved, and a lot more rewarding in the short and long term.

The hardest part about being a parent is being a good example. Learning to model charity and other Catholic virtues is much harder than simply requiring it of your kids. If you want an easy button approach to parenting, a way to keep your kids quiet so you can watch TV, or a magic wand to fast forward through the early years, this book is NOT for you.

The Popcaks have a live radio show weekdays as well. [...]