Parenting by Heart: How to Stay Connected to Your Child in a Disconnected World [Paperback]

Ron Taffel (Author), Melinda Blau (Author), Melinda Blau (Author), Ph.D. Ron Taffel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 8, 2002

How do you help your child open up to you? With so little time in a busy day, how can a parent find that elusive "quality" time? What discipline techniques work for young children, and why?An empowering book that emphasizes real-life parenting situations and practical, compassionate solutions, Parenting by Heart is filled with specific advice tried by thousands of families. Showing what actually works rather than what theoretically "should" work, here are hundreds of step-by-step, tested solutions that will help make parents feel more confident about how to instill values, be in charge, and stay connected with today's kids in these modern and often difficult times.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Based around a long-standing series of parenting workshops, Parenting by Heart aims to debunk the most common--and damaging--myths of parenthood and replace them with a flexible set of solutions that can be easily adapted to different situations. Author Ron Taffel offers a variety of innovative ideas that can change frustrating experiences for the better while relieving parents of much of the guilt we carry.

The book is based on short chapters that blow away our standard myths about "in-charge parents," "over-involved mothers and under-involved fathers," and consistently reliable methods of discipline. Rather than simply contradicting them, Taffel explains how these ideas developed and how they can be changed for the better. He describes the important roles of "Parent Protector," "Parent Chum," and "Parent Realist" and outlines the different ages that require different styles of parenting. The book is full of lively examples and basic concepts, so you'll have plenty of new ideas to replace the tired myths.

Whether Taffel is elaborating on the idea that no good discipline method is effective for more than a few days or reminiscing about bribing his daughter with cookies, the points raised in his work are refreshing and reassuring. This is one parenting book that works equally well for teens and toddlers. --Jill Lightner

Review

"This book stands out from the crowd." -- -Parenting Magazine

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Product Details

• Paperback: 252 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press; Revised edition (January 8, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738205990
• ISBN-13: 978-0738205991
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #151,936 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #29 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Health

More About the Author

Award-winning journalist Melinda Blau has been researching and writing about relationships and social trends for more than thirty years. With her (lucky) thirteenth book, Consequential Strangers: People Who Don't Seem to Matter...But Really Do, she widens her lens to include the surprisingly vital connections that extend beyond family and close friends-a subject that has taken her into the world of business and marketing, the Internet and social media, health and "place making."

Many new parents will recognize Melinda as the co-author (with the late Tracy Hogg) of the best-selling "baby whisperer" series--Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems.

Those with older children may have read one of her books co-written with family therapist Ron Taffel, Parenting by Heart, Nurturing Good Children Now, and The Second Family. Melinda's other books include three on divorce and two on co-parenting: Loving and Listening and Families Apart. Our Turn: How Women Triumph in the Face of Divorce, was written based on a study by Christopher Hayes and Deborah Anderson.

In addition, Melinda also wrote the inspirational memoir Watch Me Fly for civil rights activist Myrlie Evers Williams and is the voice behind Barbara Biziou's The Joy of Ritual and The Joy of Family Rituals.

Melinda's more than eighty articles on families, education, adult relationships, health, sexuality, and social trends have been featured in highly-regarded print venues such as New York, The New York Times, Utne Reader, and Psychotherapy Networker. For six years, she also penned "The New Family" column for Child magazine.

Melinda has been a featured guest expert on Oprah, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, and numerous other national and local TV and radio broadcasts. Her writing has been honored by a wide variety of organizations, including the American Psychological Association, the Children's Rights Council, the Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Association of Applied and Preventive Psychology, the American Legion Auxiliary "Heart of America" competition, and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

You can follow Melinda on Twitter: @melindablau
Visit her blog: www.consequentialstrangers.com
Join the Facebook group for "Consequential Strangers": http://tinyurl.com/lnmvss

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A bag of answers to common parenting questions, March 12, 2006

By 

Gene Zafrin (Sleepy Hollow, NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Parenting by Heart: How to Stay Connected to Your Child in a Disconnected World (Paperback)

This heartfelt book about parenting is composed of chapters debunking some common parenting myths, such as the myth of parents being always in charge or that your relationship with your child should only be about the child. The material does not feel "groundbreaking", perhaps because it is not based on any latest research, but rather on the author's many years of family and child practice. And yet, some of the points resonated with me and sounded like something I could use in my own parenting. For example, Taffel points out that often most memorable connection takes place during the most ordinary activities. Indeed, sharing a household activity may present better opportunities for a good conversation than sitting your child in front of you and lecturing him.

The book introduces three parenting styles that are roughly appropriate for three age groups: parent-protector (for 5-9 year olds), parent-chum (9-12) and parent-realist (13-16). These categories sound a bit programmatic, but the book does point out that at any time you may have to wear different hats with the same kid. Even though this categorization is arguable, it provides a useful framework for further discussion.

One suggestion is repeated throughout the book: staying involved with your children. Whether it is by creating boundaries for the acceptable behavior or just playing with your kid, the author is convinced that being connected with what's going on in your kid's life is a fundamental parenting principle. In today's busy world, it is not a trivial undertaking.

The book has a definite therapeutic bent: almost every page is devoted to a technique of dealing with something that went wrong. It reads almost like a compilation of case studies. It does not deal with such questions as "What do I want from my parenting, for myself and for my child?" or "What kind of child do I want to raise?" But it does give some good advice to those wondering "If my child is not talking with me what could I do?" or "If my child did something wrong should I punish him, and if yes - how?" The book has enough specific suggestions for a variety of situations to be of interest to many parents.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Realistic, practical, and uplifting, June 4, 2009

By 

M. Lam "Serenity" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Parenting by Heart: How to Stay Connected to Your Child in a Disconnected World (Paperback)

This is one of the best parenting books I've read. The views expressed are balanced and realistic. It also emphasizes the tween and teen years. Don't be misled by the title. It is not a book about attaching to your children. The book does an excellent job of discussing when to let go, when to accept your children and when to stay connected and protect them.