Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow [Paperback]

Gregory C Keck (Author), Regina Kupecky (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 15, 2009

The world is full of hurt children, and bringing one into your home can quickly derail the easy family life you once knew. Get effective suggestions, wisdom, and advice to parent the hurt child in your life. The best hope for tragedy prevention is knowledge! Updated and revised.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

In this sequel to their Adopting the Hurt Child (1998), Keck and Kupecky explore how parents can help adopted or foster children who have suffered neglect or abuse. They begin by outlining changes in adoption and fostering procedures in recent years and use case studies to document the friction and disruption introduced into a household when a hurt, adopted child is brought into the family. The authors examine attachment disorders and control issues as well as parenting techniques that work (praise, consistency, flexibility, anger management) and those that don't work (punishment, withholding parental love, grounding, time-outs, deprivation). They highlight the symptoms of abuse and options for therapy. Foster or adoptive parents need to claim the role of parent in the child's life, the authors advise, suggesting ways to deal with teachers and other authority figures in the child's life. The book includes a variety of resources on, among other topics, finance, therapy for siblings and parents, cultural differences, and marriage counseling. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

Sadly, the world is full of children who have been hurt by someone they should have been able to trust. If you’ve chosen to bring one of these children into your family, you likely have hopes, dreams, and images of success—dreams and images that might now look dark and hopeless.

In this updated and revised sequel to Adopting the Hurt Child, authors Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky share valuable suggestions to help your hurt child heal, grow, and develop. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t, as well as hear stories from those who have been there.

The best hope for parenting a hurt child is knowledge. Get started here.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: NavPress; Rev Upd edition (June 15, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1600062903
• ISBN-13: 978-1600062902
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #41,005 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #23 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book for Everyone, May 24, 2003

By 

Amy Hilliard (VA, United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow (Hardcover)

This is a very good book for both parents and teachers. It is also useful for adults relating to children who both are and are not "hurt." This book can be read as a preventive measure, as well as a book to turn to when nothing seems to get through to a child.

I tutor at a learning center, and work with children from all types of backgrounds and with all kinds of learning and behavior problems. This book has been very helpful to me. I feel I have successfully applied the techniques and suggestions in Chapter 4, and hopefully have avoided the pitfalls listed in Chapter 3. Chapter 5 has specific activities parents can do to positively affect their interactions with their child. Some activities can be incorporated in a teacher/tutor and child interaction, but they are more for parental interactions. Chapter 6 deals with education and is more for both parents and teachers. At the end of the book the authors present letters told from the viewpoint of both parents and children. If you want to learn about relevant research, Chapter 12, "the Author's Smorgasbord," gives brief descriptions of articles about hurt children. Also, the section "Related Readings" presents a reference list of useful articles. All of the researchers on this list are pioneers in early development and/or very well known for the quality of their research.

What I especially like about this book is that it does not make the parent feel guilty for the current state of their relationship with their child. Those feelings of guilt can hamper the positive growth of the interaction between parent and child. If you are even contemplating this book, or one like it, that says a lot. If you are really in a bind, go straight to Chapter 7 "Surviving When It Feels Like Nothing Works." Good luck and don't give up!

33 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars HELPFUL , INFORMATIVE & COMFORTING, April 21, 2003

By 

"regina_lisa" (Kernersville, NC USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow (Hardcover)

I am the "Forever Mommy" of three wonderful children under the age of 9. I actually laughed (ALOT) while reading this book and felt tremendous relief to read that I am not insane! Many adoptive families go through the same intensity that we do. There were many great ideas that worked wonderfully - in fact the counselors, doctors and social workers actually wrote down some of the ideas for future reference for other families.

I sent a copy of this book to my mother to give her some insight and education. This is a MUST READ for all family members blessed with an adoptive child!!

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal an, June 3, 2002

By 

Valerie Brandenburg (Cleveland, Ohio) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow (Hardcover)

This is an absolute MUST READ FOR ANYONE WHO HAS ADOPTED a child older than a month. The book's chapter on the destruption a hurt child can bring to a household brought tears to my eyes from my own experience as a "residential" step-mother years ago. It is so accurate. It also helps put it in perspective that the child is not out to get you, but only expressing their own fears in the only way they know how.
The book contains a chapter on what to look for in a therapist if you decide you need that kind of help (and you probably will.) It also contains a fabulous chapter on how to get help at school for your child's special needs.
I think that the most orignal chapter is the chapter that lists a number of activities that you can do with your child that promotes bonding between you and your child. It reminds all of us that we need to have fun with our children and gives us some reminders of just how we might do that.
As a lawyer working in the divorce area, I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND the book to ALL STEP_PARENTS who are spending long periods of time with a child. It is a beautifully simple, easy-to-understand explanation of bonding problems from the child's
perspective.
I am sure that you will not only find the book helpful, but you will be sharing it with friends. It's cost is very reasonable and if you are having any problems with your adopted child or step-child, it will be the best money you ever spent!