Customer Reviews: Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition)
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Showing 1-10 of 15 reviews(3 star). Show all reviews
on September 16, 2012
I do agree with the concept behind the book and I have already had some great experiences using the techniques with my 2-1/2 yr old son in the past couple of months. I want to offer him some control over limited choices and allow him to experience the consequences of bad choices. I've been calmer and more empathetic with him and we have all enjoyed the new atmosphere. We have a great little guy, and these authors offer some great advice for gradually entrusting him with bigger and bigger decisions. We want to make sure he takes ownership of his actions but we want to enjoy his childhood with him and not be stressed out trying to dominate him.

I'm dismayed, though, by some of their "success" stories. A good many of them involve not letting the kid eat. Even a toddler is supposed to get the connection between having thrown food at the table and going hungry overnight. Is a 2-yr-old developmentally able to even process "I'm miserable because I'm hungry", let alone"I'm hungry because I chose not to behave at the table"? And as he ages, am I supposed to stay up all night, guarding the kitchen, to make sure he doesn't just fill up on junk food after he missed dinner playing his video game? What kind of consequence is that?

Another success story involved a 12-yr-old foster child who was left alone at a shopping center for 5 hours because, chronically late, he didn't make it to the agreed-upon meeting place when they were ready to leave. Is that even legal?

And what about misbehavior that doesn't always come with its own consequences? We've all heard of bullies who get away with tormenting others for years with no ill effects on their own lives. I'm supposed to mind my own business, sure that one day my son will wake up to his misdeeds, if I see him pounding on the smaller kids in the neighborhood? Sounds like a cop-out to me.
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on July 5, 2007
Well, a lot of us do. Kids don't come with a handbook after all. This book has some good insights and some nice ideas, but you have to be a talented reader to glean them out of the author's poor organization. I am glad I have read it, and do use some of the strategies, but it was a poorly written book. Clearly, it would be better to have a conversation with this writer than just read the book, but it would be a really good conversation. Or perhaps a session in his office with your kids. That is where the talent lies. So, try it out if your kids don't take responsibility for their issues. Take notes and jot down ideas. It can help. Good Luck.
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on January 27, 2016
I must remember to read more about parenting books before purchasing them. I would return this if I could but unfortunately I ordered it via Kindle. If you can look past the endless religious rhetoric and gender stereotypes, there are some good pieces of advice.

I feel like a lot of the critics need to remember that parenting books are not the end all be all of how to parent. If something doesn't sit well with you then disregard that concept.
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on April 8, 2013
It's just one of those things: Not every book, not every thing you hear, not every word of advice is exactly what you need for your child. Everyone is different. I do wish more people read this book though. It does have good pointers, but I am a little "old school" when it comes to discipline. This book is all about giving children choices, well, sometimes, it's not about a choice to make, its about "mom said so, so get in gear" It was an okay read, and does have good points.
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on August 25, 2014
This book seems really great for the first third, and I felt like I was catching on to something. As it dragged on, I realized it was shallow and repetitive. It may be useful for those who struggle to think for themselves. Despite speaking of being so loving, etc, the suggested speaking stake towards our kids is very manipulative and rude--not to mention completely out of character for regular adult conversation. I can be a tough parent, but I still feel test kids deserve more respect and thought for their dignity. If I speak to mine as someone important, showing that I know they've got a good head on their shoulders, thy will respond as such. There really is no basis for the "knowledge" these authors have on the subject...just their own ideas and opinions. Unrealistic parent/child conversation examples, too. Kevin Leman's parenting books employ similar responsibility-in stilling techniques, but he writes about it better. Danny Silk also wrote Loving Our Kids On Purpose, with much the same ideas and was written better. I could only recommend
Leman's books...I've read more than half a dozen and all the parenting ones get across the same ideas in a much more effective way.
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on February 13, 2011
I have 2 young kids. I've read a few parenting books and attended a few seminars. I turned to Love and Logic to figure out some good strategies for helping my older child with time management. One thing I don't like about the book is I feel like I end up walking down a path that leads to endless discussion. I was raised by good parents who instilled in us time management, self-motivation, ambition, industry, confidence, etc. And they sometimes said, 'enough is enough. No more discussion. This is the way it is." And it worked fine. Somehow in this book it's not acceptable for a parent to say that even after lots of reasonable discussion. The other thing I don't like is the book suggests that if their methods don't work it's because you're not doing it right and you should take a class. So I signed up for a class. And I wish I had just signed up for a class about how to teach time management skills to a kindergartener rather than how to re-do every aspect of your parenting. I do like the 'lead with love' philosophy that I need to remind myself of sometimes. I find that part helpful.
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on May 10, 2013
I started reading this books in hopes of reigniting the fun factor in parenting my two little boundary testers. I like the idea of natural consequences when the price is low and keeping the child responsible for their actions; however, the challenge with little kids seems to be their reasoning skills. I have learned that I often have to make the choice for my daughter and she doesn't understand that if she refuses I choose. So my frustration still cycles around her defiance. She is 3 so some of the conceptual lessons are beyond her grasp.

I have also discovered I'm not very creative in the consequences yet and if the whole family is not on board, the techniques don't work.
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on November 19, 2015
Good read. There were a few things that stood out. Some of the examples seemed to be a little far fetched. Other not so practical to do. Definitely the overall gist of the book is good.
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on September 22, 2015
I'm not sure I agree with some of the "tough love" examples in the book. The title was a little misleading I think. Another book to try might be The Secret Path of Successful Parents. It highlights parenting mistakes and how to use forgiveness and gratitude in parenting.
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on October 29, 2014
This is an interesting book giving some general strategies on positive parenting. Although the overall message is agreed upon, I would've definitely liked more sample situations with my child's age bracket-toddlerhood.
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