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Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility [Kindle Edition]

Jim Fay , MD, Foster Cline
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (353 customer reviews)

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Book Description

This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility and growing their character.

Establish healthy control through easy-to-implement steps without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"This is as close to an owner's manual for parents that you will find. Now, parents can embrace mistakes as wonderful learning opportunities to raise respectful, responsible, and caring children." --Gloria Sherman, M.A., LPC, Counselor Zemmer Jr. High, Lapeer, Michigan "Parenting with Love & Logic is an essential component for our students, parents, and teachers. For the last fourteen years, thousands of families in our school district have been positively impacted by Love & Logic principles." --Leonard R. Rezmierski, Ph.D., Superintendent, Northville Public Schools "Parenting with Love and Logic is a MUST for every parent in America! This is the most useful book I've ever read. This stuff really works! My kids use this stuff on me, their peers, and their teachers! That's how I know it really works!" --Lorynda Sampson, Colorado Teacher of the Year, 2003 "For almost twenty years, I have been delighted to share the powerful, yet simple wisdom of Jim Fay and Foster Cline with my counseling clients. The principles in Parenting with Love and Logic are practical, proven techniques that keep parents on track to raising responsible, loving, confident children." --Carol R. Cole, Ph.D., LMFT "Parenting with Love and Logic is a terrific book for parents that provide important concepts and practical solutions to help children become emotionally, socially, and morally healthy." --Terry M. Levy, Ph.D, codirector Evergreen Psychotherapy Center, Coauthor Attachment, Trauma and Healing "This book gives parents the tools to build a lifelong relationship based on respect, empathy, appreciation, and love. Parenting with Love and Logic teaches kids how to think and problem-solve from a very young age." --Stephanie Bryan, Clinical Social Worker and Parent Coach, "This hilariously entertaining g

About the Author

FOSTER W. CLINE, M.D. is an internationally recognized psychiatrist. He is a consultant to mental health organizations, parents groups, and schools across North America. He specialized in working with difficult children.

JIM FAY has thirty-one years on experience as an educator ans school principal. He is recognized as one of America's top educational consultants ans has won many awards in the educational field. He successfully guided his three children through their childhood and teen years using love and logic.

Product Details

  • File Size: 754 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Navpress; Rev Upd edition (November 23, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006CQ5GYQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,653 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
875 of 948 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars I like the theory, NOT their execution March 4, 2008
I borrowed this book from the library and have just finished reading part one. I will admit first that I am the product of what the authors call "helicopters," so some of the ideas in the book are unusual to me.

In general, I like the idea of natural consequences, enforcable choices, and encouraging children to think through their problems. I can see myself using these principles with my own daughter, but not always the way the authors do it. Some of the sample dialogues in the book are reasonable but many do not sound as genuine and empathetic as the authors imply.

Some of the examples in the book and in the "pearls" are making me very upset. In one case, a child has been neglecting her dog by not feeding it, so the mom just gives it away with no warning and without confronting the girl about it. The authors admit this is a really tough approach but that's how kids learn that unless you take care of your health and your animals serious illness or death can result. Now this sounds crazy to me. In our home, we think of pets as a family responsibility, so that might be one difference. Still, wouldn't it teach the girl more about empathy to sit her down and say "you can either come up with a schedule and feed the dog or we are giving it away, you have one week to improve." Why do these authors feel that giving someone a second chance is a bad thing? It seems this might teach her "if I don't fulfill my responsiblity, someone else will take care of it for me."

Another example is a mom who asked her son to do something and he mouths off and refuses. So the next day when he asks for a ride she says, yesterday you showed me that asking nicely can be ignored, so I'm not going to drive you to your activity, even though you asked nicely.
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206 of 238 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Parenting with Love & Logic March 26, 2010
I add my name to the countless others who share my concern about where they feel the line should be drawn (or their lack of a line at all).

They lost me, and I expect countless others, at the example of the family allowing the animal to go hungry long enough that his ribs were showing. They do not step in when the child neglects the dog, expecting the child to be responsible for the dog. THEN after puppy has gotten so thin it's ribs are showing (not a fun period of time for our furry friend I'd imagine) the parent steps in to say the dog has gone to a "new home" They state that "We sometimes worry that this approach sounds too tough, taking a pet out of the home with the possibility it may never return". I don't see this as the primary problem! An animal is not fed to the point his ribs are showing in order to provide a teaching moment.

Interesting the book only a few pages prior states we should "tremble" at what parents' model.

Uh Oh! - Love and Logic modeling neglect, pets are disposable, and to add insult to injury the mom says it hurts her eyes to see the starvation and her ears to hear the cries of hunger. Really?! Don't know I want to teach my children that those who "suffer" the observation of neglect yet choose not to act are the ones who should have our compassion.

They have some good fundamental ideas but I am suspect of how far they go with their approach. I'm unwilling to allow my child to abuse or neglect another living creature and think I'm going to sleep well suffering the "consequences" of that.

I've seen reviews stating other concerns about lines that are drawn, or not draw and am happy to spare myself the frustration of reading those examples.
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228 of 267 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not suitable as an overarching parenting strategy January 19, 2009
Many of the basic premises of this book are based in wisdom and truth. I agree with the authors that it is important for parents to raise responsible children; that it is critical for children to be allowed to learn from their mistakes; that parents should not rescue children from the consequences of their behavior; that children need the opportunity to practice decision-making in order to become responsible; that children must be presented with circumstances that cause them to reflect and internalize the choices they are making rather than have everything imposed on them externally. I also agree with the authors that parents' words are useless when not accompanied by parallel actions that demonstrate that what is said is meant, and that effective parents remain calm and not display frustration when addressing their kids.
All of these truths need to be built intentionally into effective parenting.

However, allowing children to experience natural consequences and learn from their own mistakes is simply one aspect of effective parenting. It is not the whole thing. This book advocates a comprehensive parenting philosophy built upon the effort to make all learning experiences relate to natural consequences. This is neither practical nor appropriate.

The authors assume, for instance, that basically any direct instruction from a parent to a child will be less effective than allowing the child to learn the information himself through experience. Children need parents to explain life to them, to help them unpack their mistakes, and to communicate clearly with them. Much of this can and should be done through direct, clear, respectful communication between child and parent.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Big Help
This book has been so helpful, it has givenme a new way to look at parenting. I have been putting these new ideas into practice and even though it is hard at first it seems to be... Read more
Published 20 hours ago by Jessica Apland
4.0 out of 5 stars offers great techniques
This book outlines the kind of calm loving parent I want to be. It also works on equipping you with the tools to kindly and calmly guide your child into responsible kids that can... Read more
Published 22 hours ago by curtismchale
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended
This philosophy in this book is nothing short of genius. I highly recommend that every parent or prospective parent read this book. Read more
Published 3 days ago by Fun-E-1
5.0 out of 5 stars We are recently in charge of raising our grandchild. This book has...
We have been using this book for a guide to help up with raising our grandchild. I have found it to be very helpful
Published 10 days ago by annie leisy
5.0 out of 5 stars Love It
I have been able to put to use a lot of the techniques in this book. I only wish I had known about it sooner.
Published 13 days ago by Stacey Brizuela
4.0 out of 5 stars For a class
I read this story for a parenting class that I am in. It ended up being a very easy and understandable read.
Published 16 days ago by Ryce
5.0 out of 5 stars Better than I would ever expect!!
Excellent book. I grew up during the times when you just did what Mom & Dad said, or else!! There wasn't any negotiating or choices back then. Read more
Published 17 days ago by Michael J. Daniels
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read for parents of young children
I really like the concept behind this book. As parents we can all get frustrated in the heat of the moment and this book has some really great ideas on how to handle some of the... Read more
Published 19 days ago by Strommer
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting with Love and Logic
It's a great book and should be required reading for all prospective parents..
All the examples are easily understood and make terrific sense.
Published 26 days ago by Janneke Twombly
5.0 out of 5 stars The BIBLE of child rearing!
So, you think children don't come with a manual, eh? Well here it is! Pass on Dobson and all the others. This is the only guide parents will need! Read more
Published 28 days ago by Nell
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More About the Author

As a developmental editor, this isn't a traditional "author page," but more about books I have assisted with in some way, shape, or form. Having had the privilege to work on some amazingly powerful messages and stories, I wanted to set up a page for friends to be able to find some of the projects I have had a hand in creating, just in case they were interested.

I have been a freelance editor for more than a decade and a half now and have worked on over fifty different books. Listed below ares some of my favorites and most recent. If you have read any of them, I--and their authors--would be honored if you would add a review to their home page and let us know what you thought.

Thank you for stopping by and checking these out!

All the best,


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