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Parenting Other People's Children: Understanding and Repairing Reactive Attachment Disorder Paperback – December 1, 2006


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Paperback, December 1, 2006
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 243 pages
  • Publisher: Vantage Press (December 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0533153220
  • ISBN-13: 978-0533153220
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,181,456 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
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See all 11 customer reviews
It was okay, but I've read more helpful books.
Loving Life
If you are thinking about adopting an older child, interested in Reactive Attachment Disorder, becoming a foster parent then this book should be required reading.
R. Wexelblatt
Nevertheless, I found it too repetitious, too lacking in examples and how-to's.
M. Dillon

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 35 people found the following review helpful By R. Wexelblatt on August 14, 2007
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I can't begin to name all of the books I've read on adopting older children, raising foster children and Reactive Attachment Disorder. I should state that I am a mental health professional who works with kids in addition to being a foster parent of a child. I tried to prepare myself before getting into this reading a variety of books. Some of the books I read were interesting, but didn't really give an accurate framework to why my child behaves as he does. Some of the books were all theoretical and hearing some "success stories" from a therapist were really useless.

If you are thinking about adopting an older child, interested in Reactive Attachment Disorder, becoming a foster parent then this book should be required reading. It's concrete, its not written for therapists although they would benefit from reading it and it puts everything together. What a huge relief it was to receive this book!
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31 of 32 people found the following review helpful By Lot 'o Mom on September 11, 2006
I have been a foster parent for 5 years to some children who did not have healthy beginnings. Having raised two biological children, and knowing what worked for them, I was frustrated when the usual parenting approach didn't work for our foster kids. I tried a variety of approaches, reading books about child development, but it wasn't until I read this book that the problems I was struggling with, with our foster kids, made sense. Once I understood the 'why', it was easier for me to put into action different approaches to raising our foster kids. It is not an easy road, but we've seen progress and that gives us continued hope.
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16 of 20 people found the following review helpful By M. Dillon on June 9, 2008
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True, there is too little useful, available literature on RAD and this book supplies some understanding. Nevertheless, I found it too repetitious, too lacking in examples and how-to's. If I weren't an experienced dad who has had three foster kids, one adopted kid, one birth kid, plus a nephew for six years, I would have not been able to overcome the vagueness. Push-pull is the big technique but there are too few examples. I got only one thing from this book: to make it clear to my RAD son that I am in control and it's for his own good and he can/should trust me. Oh, I'd said that to him before reading this book, but the strong emphasis can be helpful. That's not enough help for my time and money.
Also, the author is an amateur at psychology. Bright, sincere, experienced, well-meaning, and well-read. But still an amateur. His hubris in blasting the whole field of psychology is unfair and uninformed. He never met my kid's counselor.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Loving Life on May 23, 2009
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While this book was somewhat helpful, I felt the author strayed off course a little too much. The purpose of the book was, I thought, to aid other parents of RAD children. He spent a lot of time creating new terms and, it seemed, trying to justify his authority on the subject with a lot of jargon, charts, name-dropping and pointing out why psychiatrists are wrong and he's right. I was on chapter nine before I even reached any practical strategies to be used in the actual parenting. They seemed few and far between. It often seemed as if he was trying to talk over my head (he didn't succeed, but it did annoy me). He also took a long time to express a very simple idea. A lot of it seemed redundant. It was okay, but I've read more helpful books. Most of us don't need a detailed map of what the problem is, what we want are practical new ideas. I just don't think I would recommend this one.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Alison M. Cooper on December 25, 2009
I just finished this book yesterday, and thought I'd write a few words. Firstly, thanks to Mr Stoller for writing it and sharing his insights. Many people talk about writing books of their experiences and ideas but few actually do it. Good on him! I read this book because my step-daughter has Reactive Attachment Disorder and it is incredibly difficult to deal with and even more difficult to learn about and set about understanding and repairing. I have come out of this book with a healthy dose of that wonderful feeling you get when you discover you are not alone in something like RAD.

On a constructive criticism level, I felt the book jumped around a wee bit - the flow could have been better. His 'repair cycle' makes absolute sense and is easy to relate to. I was almost immediately able to start using it with my step-daughter once I had put the book down, which is wonderful. I enjoyed the last third of the book most, where there was practical information, advice and examples. Having said that, the first part of the book is necessary to fully understand the last - but came across as incredibly scientific in parts - I had to re-read sentences a few times to get the full gist (but was glad I made the effort). He made the comment fairly early in the text that this book would mainly apply to the 'aggressive' type of RAD kids. My stepdaughter isn't the aggressive type per se, so when I read that, my heart sank a bit. I perservered however and found that the book contained sensational information and scenarios which absolutely could have been written about her - so perhaps he need not have written that sentence - it could put people off, which would be a massive shame...
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