Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times [Hardcover]

Margaret K. Nelson (Author)

Book Description

Release date: May 24, 2010

They go by many names: helicopter parents, hovercrafts, PFHs (Parents from Hell). The news media is filled with stories of well-intentioned parents going to ridiculous extremes to remove all obstacles from their child’s path to greatness . . . or at least to an ivy league school. From cradle to college, they remain intimately enmeshed in their children’s lives, stifling their development and creating infantilized, spoiled, immature adults unprepared to make the decisions necessary for the real world. Or so the story goes.

Drawing on a wealth of eye-opening interviews with parents across the country, Margaret K. Nelson cuts through the stereotypes and hyperbole to examine the realities of what she terms “parenting out of control.” Situating this phenomenon within a broad sociological context, she finds several striking explanations for why today’s prosperous and well-educated parents are unable to set realistic boundaries when it comes to raising their children. Analyzing the goals and aspirations parents have for their children as well as the strategies they use to reach them, Nelson discovers fundamental differences among American parenting styles that expose class fault lines, both within the elite and between the elite and the middle and working classes.

Nelson goes on to explore the new ways technology shapes modern parenting. From baby monitors to cell phones (often referred to as the world’s longest umbilical cord), to social networking sites, and even GPS devices, parents have more tools at their disposal than ever before to communicate with, supervise, and even spy on their children. These play important and often surprising roles in the phenomenon of parenting out of control. Yet the technologies parents choose, and those they refuse to use, often seem counterintuitive. Nelson shows that these choices make sense when viewed in the light of class expectations.

Today’s parents are faced with unprecedented opportunities and dangers for their children, and are evolving novel strategies to adapt to these changes. Nelson’s lucid and insightful work provides an authoritative examination of what happens when these new strategies go too far.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Right from the first pages, and on through the book as a whole, she offers a highly engaging analysis that elegantly situates rich and intriguing examples in a broader social context, allowing us to understand those examples in new ways. The work is lively, carefully argued, and compelling in its qualititative data analysis as well as its links to multiple scholarly literatures."

-Emily W. Kane,American Journal of Sociology

“In Parenting Out of Control, sociologist Margaret K. Nelson bemoans the social isolation of today's families and describes the disservice overanxious parents ultimately do. . . . While parents insist they want their offspring to be free thinkers, their tactics result in young adults still tethered to the home.”
-Fit Pregnancy

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“Nelson goes beyond simplistic criticisms of ‘helicopter parents’ to illuminate the complex motivations, personal histories, and practical dilemmas that affect the parenting choices of educated professionals in our changing world. Using rich interview data, she shows that their new parenting styles reflect and in turn exacerbate the growing social isolation of these mothers and fathers and even put their marriages at risk. Persuasively argued and highly readable.”
-Stephanie Coontz,author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage

“Nelson tries to trace what's behind the [parenting out of control] phenomenon, looking at it from a sociological view, not a psychological one. She points at a confluence of socioeconomic factors including a reaction to sex and violence in the media, perceived danger from crime, and the feeling that today's children must work harder to prepare for going out on their own.”
-Gordon Dritschilo,Rutland Herald

About the Author

Margaret K. Nelson is the Hepburn Professor of Sociology at Middlebury College and is the author of many books, including The Social Economy of Single Mothers: Raising Children in Rural America, and co-editor, with Anita I. Garey, of Who’s Watching? Daily Practices of Surveillance Among Contemporary Families.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 276 pages
• Publisher: NYU Press; First Edition. reviewers material laid in edition (May 24, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0814758533
• ISBN-13: 978-0814758533
• Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 0.9 x 9.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,008,149 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Parental Big Brothers?! June 8, 2010

By W. E. Wargo

Format:Hardcover

Have mothers and fathers become Big Brothers?

Would you read your child's diary? Do you use a keystroke monitoring system to keep track of your child's computer use? Do you test your child for drugs? Based on the answers to these and other penetrating questions, Margaret Nelson explores the attitudes of today's anxious parents toward new technologies of "connection, constraint, and surveillance." The results of her research are fascinating--and scary. Not only does Nelson paint a picture of parenting out of control, she also presents an unsettling portrait of a fearful, class-divided society. If you want to keep track of where parents are at today--and where they may be headed--this is an excellent book.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Provocative Book June 6, 2010

By FurryMonster

Format:Hardcover

In "Parenting Out of Control," Margaret Nelson examines extreme parenting from a sociological perspective. She compels us to consider the origins of different parenting styles, how they are shaped by class distinctions, and how they reinforce social inequalities.

Nelson paints vivid portraits of professional middle class parents who are afraid their children will not be able to secure a competitive place in the world. She contrasts these with working class parents, who fear their children will be harmed by the violence and temptation of crime. Nelson then reveals how initially confounding parental behavior is now explicable in light of these class fears and expectations.

This is a provocative book that I'm looking forward to sharing.