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Parenting the QBQ Way: How to be an Outstanding Parent and Raise Great Kids Using the Power of Personal Accountability (An eInitial from Putnam) [Kindle Edition]

John G. Miller , Karen G. Miller
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Have you ever heard questions like these?
"Why don't my kids do what I say?"
"Who made the mess in here?"
"When will my teen make better choices?"

If so, then you have heard the kind of questions that parents ask that lead to victim thinking, blame, and procrastination. The solution: Learn to parent the QBQ way-and bring personal accountability to life within our families.

When we lament about what our children are doing or not doing, when we delay action while waiting for others to "do something," when we point fingers looking for "whodunit"-we are not putting personal accountability into action.

But we can-and we do it through a tool called the QBQ, or The Question Behind the Question.

When faced with a parenting problem or frustration, our minds first tend to fill with questions like "Why won't my kids listen?" and "When will they do what I ask?" These questions are natural and understandable, but by focusing on everything and everyone except the person asking them-the parent-they demonstrate a lack of personal accountability. It's only when we stop and look behind those questions that we find better ones-QBQs-like "What can I do differently?" and "How can I improve as a parent?" Asking these questions turns the focus back to ourselves and to what we can do to make a difference.

With thoughtful commentary, observation, and advice, illustrated with engaging and memorable anecdotes that are the hallmarks of John Miller's previous books, Parenting the QBQ Way provides every mom and dad with the means and inspiration to be more effective parents-as well as teach their children how to practice their own brand of personal accountability-to create a happy, healthy family for a lifetime.

Product Details

  • File Size: 475 KB
  • Print Length: 86 pages
  • Publisher: Putnam Adult (March 6, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005UT19CE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #447,515 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Raising an Accountable Generation! March 10, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Parenting is tough. Life is filled with twists and turns, high and lows, ups and downs. We're busier than ever before and face new challenges everyday when it comes to our kids. As parents, it's easy to become frustrated and feel as though we're fighting a losing battle. How can we possibly compete with today's digital distractions and a 24/7 connection to the world at large? How can we cut through the clutter of everyday life and connect with our kids in a meaningful way? In typical QBQ fashion, the Miller's distill the wisdom of QBQ into a practical field guide that gives parents a roadmap for raising great kids by operating from a foundation of personal accountability. The best way to raise an accountable generation is to ensure that we, as parents, make personal accountability a core value in the home. Remember, we reproduce what we are! I've been a QBQ fan since 2004 and think Parenting the QBQ Way is a must read for every parent.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for every parent! March 8, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Parenting the QBQ Way is a breath of fresh air to the parent who has been overwhelmed with various parenting methods. This book gives you a new perspective on parenting and lays out basic principles that can easily be applied to every family. The book is both convicting and encouraging and it has changed the way I parent. The Millers teach you a new way of thinking without giving you another to-do list. Personal accountability is something I want my children to have, but I learned that I first have to have it myself. Living life the "QBQ Way" has transformed our family and has brought us so much joy. I am recommending this book to everyone I know!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
I first heard of QBQ at a former job several years ago and I read your original book. Since then it's been collecting dust on my bookshelf as I'm no longer in the workforce due to a debilitating disease.

I have subscribed to your Facebook page and when I saw that you were doing a book on parenting I got so excited. I come from a difficult childhood and did not have good parenting modeled for me. I have muddled my through it and have been a weak parent mostly. My oldest is almost 21 and has two children already (10 months apart). I know that while she made some really poor decisions as an adult, I could have done things a lot differently while she was growing up. My youngest daughter is 13 and so we are in the throes of the battle of independence and entitlement mentality.

I definitely have a sense of urgency that if I don't turn things around NOW, she very well could follow in her sisters footsteps.

So, when I read the book yesterday I admit it got me really excited that not only was it possible, there were things I could do to change the dynamic in place immediately. The conviction that I felt while reading it and seeing myself in these scenarios of "Incorrect Questions" or IQ's, energized me to realize how much power I had to change the course that we are on. I also downloaded on my nook a digital version of the QBQ and also went ahead and ordered Flipping the Switch. I was so excited I couldn't fall asleep until early this morning because I was thinking about how I would start teaching my youngest daughter the QBQ principles. :-)
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting the QBQ Way: A Must Read! March 22, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
Once again author John Miller has hit it out of the ballpark with his latest in his line of personal accountability books! Sharing the authorship of this must read book for every parent with his wife Karen Miller, the Miller's remind us of the imortance of personal accountability when it comes to parenting. Who would not want to be an outstanding parent? Whether you are thinking of having kids, have toddlers crawling about, or your children have just about flown the nest, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. Thanks John and Karen for giving us a rare look at what is really important!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting DEMYSTIFIED!!! March 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Kids don't come with instructions, but this book is the next best thing! Parenting the QBQ Way is a quick but impactful book that can help any and all parents. I have used the QBQ pracitices within my business for many years, and I am just as excited to implement them at home.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent needs to read this March 19, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Finally, a practical parenting book that understands that most like most parents I don't have time to read a 500 page book on how to help my son grow into the best person he can be. This book is filled with the right questions every parent should be asking themselves to help them be the best role model they can be in a simple format with wonderful examples and stories we can all learn from.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Yet another homerun by John Miller - the QBQ! guy March 12, 2012
By apandbp
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
One of my first thoughts when I read his original book, QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, was how beneficial it could be in a family setting. In his new book, Parenting the QBQ way, John Miller delivers the type of quality content we have grown to expect and love from the QBQ Guy. It begins explaining the QBQ for those that have not read the original QBQ book, and the remainder is jam-packed with outstanding stories illustrating how people have applied the QBQ principles in their own families.

When I purchased the book, I was ready to learn how to best teach my children the QBQ. However, instead, it is mostly dedicated to teaching me how to practice the QBQ as a father. Which makes perfect sense, as the best way to teach our children is through example.

Parents, as far as I am concerned this is a must read.

Thank you, John, for another fantastic resource!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Parent Should Read This Book!!
This is a great book that every parent should read! It's a quick read but is really to the point. I will read it many times while my kids are little.
Published 16 months ago by Suzanne L. Martin
4.0 out of 5 stars Great food for thought
This book is helpful in remembering our role as parents in the raising of our children. The author offers up many ideas for raising QBQ kids and having them be productive and... Read more
Published 18 months ago by Kirsten Richardson
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting the QBQ Way
After seeing John Miller speak, I told my husband about the presentation, especially the portions related to parenting because we have a two-year-old daughter. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Shmetterling
5.0 out of 5 stars Raising accountable children. Who would have thought it could be so...
This is by far the most refreshing book on parenting I've read. I've read many books and articles on raising children, discipline, raising toddlers, how to get your kids to talk... Read more
Published 21 months ago by k smart
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting the QBQ Way!
John and Karen Miller have hit it out of the park with Parenting the QBQ Way! The book is chuck full of practical, approaches and keen insights for better parenting and a better... Read more
Published 22 months ago by Jim Loscheider
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful with my 11 year old daughter
My wife and I read this book recently and found it very valuable. My 11 year old daughter has been giving us fits-- constantly shirking personal accountability and a seasoned... Read more
Published 22 months ago by R. Gibbons
5.0 out of 5 stars Another Outstanding Book from @QBQGuy!
Anyone who has read QBQ! or is familiar with John G. Miller's material will find the concepts in this book very familiar. Read more
Published 23 months ago by James Woosley
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Tool and Reminder of the Importance of Accountability
Parenting the QBQ way is great tool for parents!

I was first introduced to the QBQ series when my husband brought home the original QBQ book that he had received from a... Read more
Published 24 months ago by Angie Mozilo
5.0 out of 5 stars Just read it!
If you are a QBQ believer, read it. If you haven't heard of QBQ, read this book anyway. If you ask why is this happening to me or when is my kid gonna the book. Read more
Published on April 5, 2012 by Rick Myers
5.0 out of 5 stars Parenting The QBQ! Way
I can't say enough for this common sense and loving method of helping children become adults.

In such a chaotic world, this books gives hope for parents, and a real... Read more
Published on April 4, 2012 by Judith Mccormick
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More About the Author

Hello, QBQ! fans - and believers in PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. If you want to contact me directly, just email!

And visit our main site here:

If you're looking for the newly rewritten QBQ! book, it's here at Amazon. Ignore the "2004" date in the Amazon description text. As long as you get the version with the gold star/burst on the front, you've got the right one! Inside the book it says "2004/2012" - and it is our best version yet.

Follow us on ...

Twitter @QBQGuy
Facebook: theQBQ
LinkedIN: JohnMillerQBQ

Big news!

My wife, Karen, and I (7 kids!) have just written the expanded edition paperback "Parenting the QBQ Way - How to Be an Outstanding Parent and Raise Great Kids Using the Power of Personal Accountability." Good, practical stuff. Just think what can happen when we eliminate Blame, Victim Thinking, and Procrastination from our families! Buy it here at Amazon. Or learn more at:

My newest organizational book is titled "Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional"! Find it here at Amazon or at

And visit our main site here:

I grew up in Ithaca, NY. Father Cornell U. wrestling coach for 26 years and a Christian pastor for 40. Mom was a homemaker. I am a Cornell University grad, 1980. Five years with Cargill as a commodity trader (grain).

Started in the training business selling leadership and sales management training in 1986.

Have lived in UpState NY, MN, MT, MO, MN again, and now CO. Moved to Denver in 1997 after 12 years in Minneapolis. Why? THE WEATHER!

Karen and I have been married since 1980 and have 6 daughters, one son, and three grandchildren.

I keynote meetings/conferences on "Personal Accountability and the QBQ!" Go here:


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