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Parenting With Love and Logic : Teaching Children Responsibility Hardcover – July 1, 1990

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Psychiatrist Cline and educator Fay's "Love and Logic" parenting method advocates raising responsible children through practice. "Helicopter" parents hover around their children while "drill sergeant" parents give orders to theirs, they claim. Neither of these styles permits children to learn how to make choices and learn from the consequences. The result is that as early as adolescence these children too often make bad decisions. In the context of a healthy, loving relationship, "Love and Logic" parents teach their children responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems, providing skills for coping in the real world. After laying out the principles of "Love and Logic," the authors provide "parenting pearls," which are strategies for applying the method to actual situations such as back-seat battles in the car, homework, and keeping bedrooms clean. The narration, performed by Tim Kenney and Bert Gurule, is clear and energetic. This is an upbeat and sensible approach to child rearing that will be popular in public libraries.?Nann Blaine Hilyard, Fargo P.L., N.D.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


If you're looking for practical parenting skills, this book is a must. The pages are chock full of tips that you can implement right away...this book is one of the best parenting resources I've seen. Because of what I learned from this book, I've already seen positive changes in my relationship with my son. Don't let this vital resource slip by. (Jolene L. Roehlkepartain, OURS Magazine, February 1993)

Without question, this is the most practical book I have ever read on this subject, and I hope that every parent gets a copy and puts it into practice. --John Kennington, Fellowship Today Magazine, December 1990


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 229 pages
  • Publisher: Pinon Press; 1 edition (July 1, 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0891093117
  • ISBN-13: 978-0891093114
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (150 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #74,135 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

350 of 376 people found the following review helpful By Nature Mom w/ 2 children + EE & Management degrees on April 9, 2001
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I found the "thinking words" vs. "fighting words" sections very helpful. Instead of "Stop yelling!" try "When your voice is as calm as mine, I'll be glad to talk with you." (works for whining too!) Once you've read this book, the "pearls" are easy to use later as a quick reference (about 50 issues including bossiness, getting ready for school, bedtime, teeth brushing, TV, temper tantrums and whining ). The first time I read the book a few years ago, I knew there were some great ideas, but I also felt like I was about to let my children initially experience too many logical consequences, and perhaps a drop in self-esteem. I think the book missed an opportunity to give parents an option to gradually implement their method of teaching responsibility by first acting as an emotional coach. A recently released book used in conjunction with this one was the answer I was looking for. If you have young children or think you may want to help coach your children first, try this book along with "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (author of "Raising your Spirited Child"). The combination is powerful! I keep both books on hand for quick reference and my favorite ideas from them taped to my refrigerator.
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191 of 203 people found the following review helpful By Michael Erisman on February 4, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Basically, this book is about how to create a positive learning environment for our children, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to be the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose. It also provides some great insight into how to create a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.
My wife read this book first and I noticed an immediate change in how she reacted to our rather headstrong two-year old. Staying calm, and giving choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? This instead of the battle on whether or not she was going to bed. We find ourselves laughing at some of the absurd choices we come up with, and it's harder than it appears to consistently think this way. What is easy to see is that it works, and works well. Some of our biggest battles over dressing, or going to bed, or eating dinner have become much easier and the "uh-oh" said calmly has stopped some poor behavior in its tracks!
While we both embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, this book gave some great insights on how to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behaviors.
I was not thrilled with the overall editing and layout of the book, as it jumped around a bit, and half-way through would say things like: This may not work for children under three! OK, this is information we could have used four chapters ago when the authors were making a point we were attempting to follow. That minor complaint notwithstanding, this is an excellent book and is highly recommended for all parents with young children.
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53 of 56 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 27, 2002
Format: Hardcover
i have just completed reading this book. It teaches a very good technique for parenting in which the parents let their child take responsibility of problems that are his/hers (keeping the room clean, whether or not to wear a coat outside etc). By making kids take responsibilty for their actions, parents make them more responsible in picking the right choices in life. This way parents also teach them problem solving and other important skills. The entire book is devoted to explaining this technique. The first few chapters are really valuable. I have tried the technique with my kids and they work.

One thing i didn't like about the book is that the enitre book is devoted to this same technique. The same point repeated and discussed! Also, at times one feels that making the kids always face consequences for themselves and always solve their problems themselves may be too harsh. On the other hand, maybe that is not what the authors intend to say. If it seems like the authors are carrying the point to limits, it may be because they wish to give many different situations in which their technique can be used. But it does sometime feel like the child's whole life is centered around being taught a lesson of taking care of his problems or face consequences that may be harsh.

Also, for non american parents or for people who belong to asian or other cultures, this may not be an entirely appropriate book. For example , as an Indian i would never dream of telling my mother that she needs to have my permission before disciplining my child. Or telling her something like this: "People get together on vacations either out of a sense of obligation and guilt or to have fun together. I'm wondering if you see our times together as fun".
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71 of 81 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 7, 1998
Format: Hardcover
I have been reading parenting books for years. I read this book completely. As the adult child of an alcohol and drug councilor with 3 young children, I have taken great interest in therapy and communication techniques. I don't generally offer my opinion in reviews but I felt that this book should receive the credit that it is due. The focus of this book is to help your child to eventually become an unusually functional and mentally healthy adult. It makes a humorous, but truthful analogy of the learning patterns of very young (2 and under) children to that of dogs. It explains why, unlike a dog, children must begin to think for themselves and how to help them do that. It recognizes that some parents use corporal punishment, explains why this is sometimes effective and how to use it to the least detriment of the child, but over all discourages it and offers alternative methods of discipline. The book teaches how parents can assist instead of disrupting the child's natural process of learning. Permit a child the consequences of their own mistakes when they are young and they will learn not to make big, life changing mistakes when they are adults. Become a friend and respected confidant to your child whose opinion he respects. There are excellent, real life accounts of how to apply the techniques. Most teachers will recognize the authors names. The authors are well known and highly acclaimed in the educational field and have raised responsible, successful children themselves.
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