Customer Reviews

Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected

5 star:		(52)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I've just read Susan Stiffelman's book, Parenting Without Power Struggles, and the title alone is enough to make a weary parent sigh. Finally, a book that resonates with my parenting instincts and offers concrete, do-able suggestions for accomplishing what sometimes seems to be the impossible: maintaining authority or as the author so lovingly calls it, being the 'captain of the ship,' while encouraging and deepening a loving bond between parent and child. How often have you walked away after yelling at your child out of sheer frustration and felt crummy, thinking 'this isn't right.' She addresses so many of our common areas of power struggle, like HOMEWORK. She also encourages us to 'celebrate our children' but not in a false manner that leaves them dependent and ill-equipped for the world. For busy parents, aren't we all, the book is laid out in short, easily readable chapters. A great place to start that will surely pique your interest are the Check Lists in the very back of the book, Checklist #1 and Checklist #2. Check it out!!!
Anna Anawalt, Los Angeles, Caliornia

In the 6 years we have been parents, my husband has read 2 books, The Expectant Father and Parenting without Power Struggles. I have read more, which I'm sure is not uncommon. This book has made us better parents and has also made us better partners in parenting. Susan's methods are a mix of practical, developmentally appropriate approaches that are easy to implement in day to day situations. When one of us is struggling, we talk about the book to each other, and that helps us regain perspective. In some ways, Susan has become an absentee referee in our own parenting disagreements. He's more old-school, I'm more touchy-feely. This book met us in the middle. In some chapters she affirmed some things we were already doing and in others she gave us new perspective into what was really going on between us and the kids. I want to say that this book has some good old fashioned advice, but it's not old fashioned in it's presentation or reasoning. In our case, this book helped us as much with the power struggles between us as parents, as between us and the kids.

We have two kids - Ethan and Ella. I've read at least 20 parenting books for facts and suggestions to raise them to be happy, well-adjusted adults e.g. NurtureShock, Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, Raising Children Who Think For Themselves. I selected each based on their ratings and comments made by readers here on Amazon. And I wasn't disappointed - I consider them from good to great parenting books. Susan Stiffelman's is definitely on the 'great' end of the scale. One of her reviewers said 'If you buy just one parenting book this year, make it this one!'.. hear, hear.

Cas, author of Cassius Cheong's Positively Quit Manual

Susan Stiffelman's book and wisdom has changed my life and has helped me engender a relationship with my daughter that I had always dreamed of. My advice would be to sit down with this very user friendly book and see parenting from the eyes of someone that knows the very heart of this territory. When I follow Susan's advice and come along side my daughter first, just listening during what she calls ACT I, I always find the perfect opening to then take on my role of captain of the ship--as she calls it--during the the following ACT II, if even necessary.

Susan's stories and examples are compelling, heartwarming, and just downright friendly. One of my favorites and one that has actually helped me a lot is her discussion of "Little Fear Guy" in the chapter about depression and anxiety. I remember how I laughed when she described her Little Fear Guy to be Barney Fife from Andy Griffith, who always got the town folk stirred up about some imagined threat or danger. I realized from this example that by encouraging a child to objectify the source of their worry generator, and recognize it as well intentioned but not always accurate in it's depiction of what's going on, they can then feel empowered to update Little Fear Guy with new information that tells them that their survival is truly not at risk.

This is by far transcends all other parenting books that I have read, it truly is inspired and brilliant.

I'll be the voice of dissent and say I don't see what's so great. The book can be boiled down to use active listening, and look at things from your child's viewpoint. These are important things and the author does a nice job of presenting them. However, she gets to be redundant explaining the same two points repeatedly, and she doesn't break any new ground.

Parenting Without Power Struggles is one of the most practical and accessible parenting books I have read. As a mother of 3 children who are at varying stages, I found this book unique in that it offers insights into how to relate to children of different ages with unique issues and personality traits. Susan Stiffelman offers a ton of useful phrases and analogies for how to communicate productively. Her phrases are valuable tools for the parenting tool box. They are really effective and they truly stick! I love the way she shares real situations about children and parents that she works with. Her voice is genuine and her writing style is warm and engaging. If you are looking to connect with your children at a deep and meaningful level, this book is a must read.

I am a mother of 3 wonderful boys, the step mom to a beautiful adolescent girl, and the teacher of high-needs students. I have read many many many parenting books, books about behavior interventions, and teaching. This is by far the best book I have read. It has helped me become a better mom, step-mom, teacher, and wife. LOVE this book. I am buying one for many of my friends. GREAT!

I have probably read 50 parenting books in my life and this is the best one ever. It is so well written, so right on topic. It is so easy to immediately transfer the info from this book into your day to day life with your kid. Loved it, loved it. Don't hesitate for a second to buy this one.

Through my children's adolescence and teenage years I benefited from Susan's professional guidance and anticipated the publication of "Parenting Without Power Struggles." She does not disappoint. Her advice is simple, sensible and easy to follow, where many parenting books require multiple bookmarks and highlighters. The result of using Susan's techniques -- even with older teenagers -- has been profound and rapid. Even our neighbors have commented on how quiet our household has become! "Passionate Parenting" has helped me forge an incredibly close and respectful relationship with my sons and remain at the helm of my household with a happy and (mostly) willing crew.

I stumbled across this book and discovered the author draws heavily from aspects of the groundbreaking paradigm developed by Dr.Gordon Neufeld. Unfortunately, this book's re-working of his ideas lacks the depth embodied in his approach to children.

I would recommend his book, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, for those who want a deeper understanding of his brilliant developmental/attachment paradigm so that they can respond to their children from a place of deep understanding that goes beyond parenting scripts and how-tos.