Parenting Without Punishment: Making Problem Behavior Work for You [Paperback]

John W. Maag (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 1996

Parents spend so much time and energy trying to make their children behave, you would think they would have a deliberate, thought-out system for accomplishing this goal. Most parents, however, lament?? that not only do they not have a?? pre-determined plan, but that the "method" most of them use, punishment, doesn't?? seem to do the trick and it is very unpleasant to administer. It seems that the majority of parents simply don't know any other way to manage bad behavior in their children, so they resort to what their parents did with them--traditional punishment. In his groundbreaking new book, Dr. John Maag explains that the problem with punishment is that it simply doesn't work. It is always contingent on a child's bad behavior, it is based on principles of negative reinforcement and it is always reactive--in other words, a recipe for disaster. In its place, Dr. Maag suggests that parents try his method a proactive approach that focuses on emphasizing and encouraging a child's good behavior rather than trying to decrease his bad behavior. In addition, Dr. Maag suggests using such bad behavior as a focal point for determining which behaviors need to be changed. Although this might seem obvious, it s much more complicated than one would expect. Neither radical nor far-fetched, Maag's system, based on traditional applied behavior analysis techniques, is completely sensible and effective. Step-by-step directions, practical examples, fill-in charts and questionnaires show parents how to effectively manage a wide range of problem behaviors in their children, from minor problems to depression and attention deficit disorder (ADD) Maag's method stresses consistency and positive reinforcement that will shape a child's behavior far more profoundly than will punishment. Filling a long-standing need, Parenting Without Punishment will help parents and teachers promote responsible, independent, creative and secure future adults.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Parenting shelves typically contain dozens of books offering endless techniques for behavior modification. This book may be the one that will help parents sort out the worthwhile from the drivel. Maag (Univ. of Nebraska) offers a strict and compassionate approach to behavior, arguing that punishment per se is almost never effective. The trouble is that we expect the good and punish the bad, which only leads to confrontation. Maag deals with how to use reinforcers, star charts, time outs, and contracts, concluding that self-monitoring by kids leads to self-control. Finally, he looks at ADD and depression as behavior problems that parents can deal with rather than as psychiatric labels attached to kids. Maag brings years of working with exasperated parents to his work. Refreshingly full of common sense and well worth reading.?Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, Pa.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

This book will help parents sort out the drivel from the worthwhile. Refreshingly full of common sense and well-worth reading. --Library Journal

This excellent book, a very readable source of important information on behavioral principles and procedures, will have great appeal to parents who need help dealing with their children s problem behaviors. Especially useful for therapists and counselors to give to parents, it explains principles of behavioral analysis in a clear manner, well illustrated with real-life examples, and how they can be applied to a wide range of behavior problems, including ADD, depression and resistant behaviors. For a long time, the use of punishment has been decried by professionals without providing parents with positive alternatives. With the aim of enhancing the lives of both the children and the parents, Parenting Without Punishment is an excellent exception and should be read by every parent. --Journal of Child and Family Studies

No other parenting book has so successfully taken principles of behavior and transformed them into practical, easy-to-follow techniques. --Dr. Jo Webber, former Pres of The Council for Children with Behavioral Disorders

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 246 pages
• Publisher: Charles Press Publishers (July 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0914783785
• ISBN-13: 978-0914783787
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #711,489 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally! Why time outs don't usually work, August 6, 2004

By 

Allison (Tucson, AZ United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting Without Punishment: Making Problem Behavior Work for You (Paperback)

I learned about this book in a forum on Positive Parenting, and put it on my Amazon wish list. I found it under the Christmas tree when my son was 2 and I've been following the advice in it ever since.

Large stretches of this book apply to older children, so I don't feel qualified to comment on those subjects yet (my son is 3 1/2). But the crux of the book is how to identify and isolate a behavior that you want to change. It is such a basic concept and yet so many parenting books fail to explain this. Rather than label your child as "sloppy," identify what you specifically have a problem with (e.g. leaving clothes on the floor). Then you can work with the child to change the behavior. A variety of methods are suggested. These are contrasted against punitive methods that often fail to do much more than demand immediate attention and often lead to children attempting to subvert the rules without understanding them.

Maag's discussion about "time outs," the most often suggested and most often misused form of discipline these days, is exceptional. When I read this part of the book, I immediately lost patience for all the experts and unsolicited advice-givers who seem to gush about this form of discipline. The purpose of the "time out," according to Maag, is to remove a child from a situation where he/she is getting negative attention. Used as a punishment, time outs do not end the misbehavior or address the underlying causes of the misbehavior. If a child is doing something just for the negative attention, removing the child to a new environment or simply removing your attention will end the cycle. Parents who angrily walk their kids to a chair in the corner whenever the child blows milk bubbles are giving the child the attention he craves.

Because so much of misbehavior is not due to a child trying to get negative attention, Maag contends that time outs are of limited utility. Their use as punishments do not help a child develop self control and may instead perpetuate attempts by the child to get away with things known to be wrong.

The actual problem-solving advice given by Maag centers on identifying a problem behavior, discussing your expectations with the child, coming to an agreement, and rewarding progress toward ending the behavior. Therefore, it does not apply to babies or toddlers who are too young to understand the consequences of their actions. It may sound a little to good to be true, and it probably is for people who don't want to put the time or effort into making gradual (and hopefully permanent) changes in a child's behavior. However, I've put the author's philosophy into practice and have been much more relaxed about parenting ever since. I also have a very well-behaved child and can spend quality time with him rather than fighting him at every step.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A practical guide for changing a parent's behavior., September 25, 2001

By 

NICK G (Philadelphia, PA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting Without Punishment: Making Problem Behavior Work for You (Paperback)

:
I am surprised that the principles in the book are not more commonly used by educators. Clear and practical information and guidelines cover every page.
:
Many of the behavioral modifications recommended by Dr. Maag don't just work in our interaction with our kids, they also work quite well with adults.
:
Probably the most interesting benefit I got from the book has been the opportunity to alter my own behavior, which, in turn, made a world of difference in helping our daughter to alter hers.
:
Highly recommended reading for parents, educators and for anyone looking to find different, more effective ways of dealing with others and with our own imprinted habits. An open mind is required for the readers of this book to gain any noticeable benefit.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A common-sense approach that really works..., January 18, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Parenting Without Punishment: Making Problem Behavior Work for You (Paperback)

"Parenting bookshelves typically contain dozens of books offering endless techniques for behavior modification. This book may be the one that will help parents sort out the worthwhile from the drivel. John Maag, PhD (Univ. of Nebraska) offers a strict and compassionate approach to behavior modification, arguing that punishment per se is almost never effective. The trouble is that we expect the good and punish the bad and this only leads to confrontation. Maag shows us how to use reinforcers, star charts, time outs and contracts, concluding that self-monitoring by kids leads to self-control. Finally, he 1ooks at ADD and depression as behavior problems that parents can deal with rather than as psychiatric labels attached to kids. Maag brings years of working with exasperated parents to his work. Refreshingly full of common sense and well worth reading." -- Library Journal