Parenting Young Children : Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (Step) of Children Under Six (#14302) [Paperback]

Don Dinkmeyer Sr. (Author), Gary D. McKay (Author), James S. Dinkmeyer (Author), Don Dinkmeyer Jr. (Author), Joyce L. McKay (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1997 | Series: American Guidance Service Titles

Based on the nationally successful STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) program, Parenting Young Children focuses on parents of children under six years of age, and offers guidance on building self-esteem, communicating with young children, and dealing with issues from tantrums to toilet training. Illustrations & charts.

This book is part of the STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) series, the world's best selling parent education program.

Product Details

• Paperback: 138 pages
• Publisher: American Guidance Service (January 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0785411895
• ISBN-13: 978-0785411895
• Product Dimensions: 9.8 x 7.8 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #32,294 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #48 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > How-to & Home Improvements > Home Repair

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Positive and respectful parenting, June 7, 2005

By 

Niki Collins-queen, Author "author" (Forsyth, Georgia USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Parenting Young Children : Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (Step) of Children Under Six (#14302) (Paperback)

One of my assignments as a new family therapist in the late 70s was to attend a good parenting class. I chose Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay's three-day workshop called Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP). Since I had not been a parent but I had been a child I wondered what else there was besides punishment, reward, spanking, lectures and threats.
I was surprised to learn that giving a choice such as a natural or a logical consequence is more effective than reward and punishment. That punishment invites resistance and prevents the child from learning to make decisions, makes the parent responsible for their child's behavior and suggests that acceptable behavior is expected only around authority figures.
A memory from my childhood made me think using choices made sense. When my mother took me to the dentist when I was seven I cried and refused to open my mouth. The dentist said sternly, "Niki, you have a choice-if you cooperate your mother can stay otherwise she'll have to wait outside." I immediately stopped crying and opened my mouth.
Other STEP recommendations include:
 Provide a logical consequence. For example if the child's shoes are soiling the couch give them a choice between sitting on the couch properly or sitting on the floor.
 Provide a natural consequence. For example allow the child to go hungry if they do not eat.
 Allow the child to learn from their mistake and be responsible for their actions. This helps the parent avoid the "bad guy" role.
 Encourage the child to take responsibility for choices instead of pitying, shaming or overprotecting.
 Ask the child what they think is fair. A consequence is more effective if the child sees it as logical and it fits the crime.
 Talk less and act more when using natural or logical consequences.
 A logical consequence implies no moral judgment. Punishment tells the child they are bad and ignores their natural goodness, desire to cooperate, inherent curiosity and the need to feel a part of the family.
 Treat the child with dignity by separating the deed from the doer.
 Instead of using praise where the child's worth depends on their ability to perform use encouragement as it focuses on effort not results.
 Set realistic standards and focus on strengths instead of demanding perfection.
 Stop criticism and encourage positive attempts. Use your feelings and reactions about a child's behavior to point to the purpose of the child's behavior.
 Ignore attention-seeking behavior, withdraw from power conflicts, avoid retaliation, and hurt.
 Learn to listen to the child's thoughts and feelings. When the child is "heard" they can change how they feel and act. Use "I-messages" not "you-messages" as they express feelings without blame.
When I used STEP's positive approach in individual, family and group counseling the families parenting skills and self esteem improved. The parents were surprised at their children's insight and wisdom. I found that STEP's principles really do provide information and techniques to help parents become more knowledgeable, confident and successful. As Dinkmeyer points out living respectfully with others is more effective than gaining control via a pecking order.
The STEP course not only made me a better therapist but it introduced me to a more positive and respectful way to relate to all people.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Parenting Guide I know of, October 23, 2003

By 

Maria Pollock (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting Young Children : Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (Step) of Children Under Six (#14302) (Paperback)

Parenting Young Children is in a format that even sleep-deprived parents can digest. The book discusses situations that are familiar to almost every parent. It shows ways to be consistent and give your children choices within reasonable limits.

After illustrating a problem the book offers an analysis. It then explores multiple ways of reacting. Each chapter concludes with a little summary which is helpful when putting a strategy into practice.

I like the concept because it works without punishment and does not make the child behave out of fear. Any strategy always keeps in mind to respect the child, help the child build self-esteem and encourage the child to cooperate.

If you agree with these values, this book is for you.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm a living success story, October 4, 2005

By 

Ezra Intrinsic (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Parenting Young Children : Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (Step) of Children Under Six (#14302) (Paperback)

When I was a baby, my mom (against the advice of many people who thought they knew it all) took STEP classes. I grew up in a very loving household where discipline was constant and sensible, thanks in part to the skills my mom learned through these classes. Now that I'm grown and bringing up a little girl of my own, my husband and I are turning to these books to help us give her the best start we can toward being a good human.