Customer Reviews

Parenting Is Your Highest Calling: And Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt

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This is by far the best parenting book I've ever read--and believe me, I've read more than my share!

If you are someone who gets caught in the anxiety/guilt cycle of constantly questioning whether or not you are making the right (or perfect!) decisions for your children, this book is for you. I'll let it speak for itself:

"We want so badly to get it all right--our marriages, our parenting, our family dynamics. We want to meet all the requirements of a good Christian family. But God takes every hour of our home life, as well as every hour outside of it, and he uses the mistakes, the flaws, the pain as much, if not more, than he uses the good" (from Chapter 9, pg. 203).

This quote epitomizes much of what I love about the book--it keeps pointing back to God, and to God's authority in our lives. While in no way abdicating parents of their responsibilies, the book releases them from the perfectionism that can steal the joy from parenting. It reminds parents that we are, in fact, not God, but fallible human beings who will mess up sometimes--even when we're trying so hard to do our best. How freeing to know that we can trust God to be God, and to use even our mistakes to His good purpose! For the perfectionist who gets paralyzed with all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" of parenting, this message is good news, indeed.

I have a master's degree in pastoral care and counseling, so I am always reading books like this with an eye to their underlying theology. Having said that, I truly feel that the Biblical work in this book is excellent and spot on. Ms. Fields clearly has done her homework, and is neither legalistic nor sloppy in her interpretation of Biblical texts. As a parent, I felt the gospel coming through loud and clear on every page.

Do yourself a favor and buy this book. You won't regret it.

Leslie has written a book that encourages me. I totally agree with Ken Canfield in the recommendations, who says "Chapter 8 [Myth 8: Successful Parents Produce Godly Children] is worth the price of the book alone. I heartily recommend it."

Things that struck me:

"...Yet not many of us have examined our own parenting assumptions and expectations, holding them up to the unsparing light of the Scriptures. In the absence of biblical truth, we quietly absorb the 'truths' our culture offers us: Children are here for our happiness. We're born with a natural instinct to love sacrifically. And if we simply devote ourselves to our parenting, our children will turn out as we want."

"...This book is not a manual to change your child: it is a deep gaze into the parenting heart of God our Father."

As a longtime homeschooling mom and member of moms' groups and a local church, I've seen it over and over. Parents often give sacrificially, and this sometimes happens (quote from Pastor Bradley):

"...I have heard from too many parents who feel like failures and they are especially baffled as they list all that they did or didn't do: no TV, no videos, no video games, no dating, no bad music, no youth group, no institutional church, no neighborhood friends; they homeschooled, dressed modestly, groomed conservatively, memorized Scriptures, and baked their own bread. They were intensely dedicated to rearing their children for God, but their trust was not really in God alone -- it was in what they did for God."

Thank you for this book, Leslie, and being so transparent!!

THIS BOOK IS AMAZING. It gave me a renewed confidence in God's mission for me as a parent. It is the most Biblically sound parenting book I have ever read.
I am an information junkie, and have spent most of my parenting years devouring information on the best way to raise my children. What ultimately happens to someone who reads and tried to apply information is that much parenting advice is someone's opinion or experience, particular to their child or someone they know. It is impossible to combine those opinions about other children into a parenting philosophy for mine!
"Parenting is Your Highest Calling" is unique for one reason: Ms Fields seeks to honor and glorify the first Father in her own life, which in turn leads her to trust Him fully in parenting her children. It sounds so simple, but we baby boomers grew up in a culture of self-sufficiency, and we want so much to be the best parents WE can be, as we forget that we are called to be the best parents God can MAKE us. That can only happen as we lean completely on Him.
The book does not rely on Ms Fields' expertise: she refers us to God's holy and inerrant Word over and over! What she does so beautifully is to integrate what God says into personal stories of her own and others as we all struggle to parent well. Every page of this book has something Biblical to offer a parent, whether you are successful or struggling. Because if you are currently successful, get ready: there's a struggle coming.
This book will free you from doubting yourself and your decisions to parent as God intends: at peace in knowing the HE is sovereign, and will guide us as we parent. It has freed me to love my children more completely, as I prayerfully commit them (and me) each day to His wisdom.

As soon as I received this book I had to start reading Myth 3 - Parenting Is Your Highest Calling. This was contrary to the vocal opinions of so many of my friends as I raised my sons. I never bought into this myth, but remained silent so that I would not be viewed with disrespect and my sons with pity.

Leslie says, "Our greatest and most constant temptation as parents is to unseat the Sovereign from his throne and replace him with our family." YES! Even though my sons are now adults (and none the worse for not receiving 100% of my attention and energies), I now feel vindicated because of Leslie's chapter. I plan to get this book into the hands of my friends who are young parents so that maybe they can avoid some of the guilt and stress that our culture sends their way.

We all know the myths. If we're good parents we'll have good children. Having children makes us happy and fulfilled, we'll love the little darlings all the time, and if we find parenting difficult we're going about it the wrong way. Our success as parents can be measured by the way our children behave. Obviously the person who coined that bit of wisdom has never been in a crowded department store with a three year old overcome by extreme lust for a toy and pitching a king sized fit in order to cow her parents into gettin getting it for her.
As Leslie Leyland Fields points out, according to the Bible God has plenty of trouble with his kids too and he's not always a happy parent either. His children have made him angry, we've hurt him, and at times we've been ungrateful for our many blessings. God can understand a parent's frustrations, longing, and hurt. He's been there. He enjoys our successes too.
One by Leslie Leyland Fields tackles the myths, using common sense and the Bible to lead the reader to a greater understand of being parents. I fully enjoyed this book. It would make a great gift for any parent, grandparent, or for a baby shower. Strongly recommended.

I loved this book and appreciated the grace and freedom it offers parents. A must-read for parents.

This is one of the most freeing Christian books about parenting that I have ever read, and I've read many. I love how the author explains that God is the perfect parent, yet even His children (Israelites)disobeyed.

Also, the author makes clear that our hightest calling is to serve God, and serving God helps us to be better parents. She doesn't try to force the readers to agree with a specific parenting style, because she says that the Bible doesn't give detailed rules about parenting. However, she continues to encourage the readers to rely and lean on God.

The aspect I love most about this book is the author's transparency. She makes sure to let the readers know that she is not perfect. She states that she will never be Jesus, but she can be a person in need of Jesus. We won't be able to be perfect parents for our kids, but we can demonstrate to them that we are in need of a savior, which is something everyone should understand.

One of my most favorite parenting books ever is "`Parenting Is Your Highest Calling' And 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt" by Leslie Leyland Fields. If you've hung around my blog for very long, you know I'm pretty picky about my parenting books, so this is high praise. In this book, Fields gives us "a liberating look at what God most wants you to know." She acknowledges up front that the Bible doesn't offer a lot of directly specific parenting advice. Yet she gleans biblical truths about parenting from the stories of God's people, from their parenting successes and failures, from God's work in their lives. It's a true parenting Bible study--no twisting God's Word around to support strictly human ideas will be found here.

This book provides unique insights for parents of older elementary, tweens, and teens--though parents of younger children can benefit from reading it too. It's non-judgmental and encouraging, combating society's beliefs about parenting that leave parents frustrated and wondering where they must be going wrong.

To summarize my favorite ideas, society tends to teach parents that if they carefully follow all the parenting rules, their kids will turn out right--just as sugar cookies turn out just so if you follow the recipe. Parents like this thought because they see in it a guarantee that their kids will grow up to be responsible Christians, contributing members of society, and problem free.

The truth is, however, there is no such guarantee. God gave each of us--even our kids--the freedom to make choices. And our kids will make choices. And sometimes those choices will be wrong. This would be true even if there were such thing as the perfect parents. In fact, God is the only perfect parent, and He gave His kids free will, and every single one of them rebelled.

The good news is that God provided for that, and He provides for our kids. As parents we do the best that we can do, then we prayerfully leave the rest to God--the One Who loves our kids even more than we do. We all have a spiritual journey to take. This book helps parents understand Who Is really guiding their kids on theirs.

Have you every had a passionate belief that you couldn't put into words? You knew it had a Biblical foundation, but for the life of you, you couldn't nail it down or explain it well enough without making you sound like you were making excuses or justifying yourself? This book, Parenting is Your Hightest Calling & Eight Other Myths by Leslie Leyland Fields did that for me. It is a must read for all parents. She outlines 9 myths that many parents buy into that can cause grief and disappointment when their parenting experience doesn't the bring the results they'd expected. As a mother of 15 children, 13 of whom are special needs adopted, I saw how the blame game is easily entered into by those who have a tendency to judge others, especially Christian leaders who take credit for their own children's successes.

Her basic premise is that we as parents are required by God to be faithful, to follow His basic guidelines for holy living and endeavor to teach the same precepts to our children. That's it. We are to leave the results up to Him. He is the one who will woo their hearts, call them to repentance and a life of service to Him. This book will help parents to look to God rather than themselves and quit applying pressure on themselves to satisfy those around them who expect them to take on God's role in their children's lives.

This is a very encouraging book and I recommend it to every parent.

This is the first parenting book I have read in a while. Quite often
they include theories and expectations that I feel are
unattainable or inappropriate for me and my family's situation,
but this book is different. I really appreciate how Leslie
infuses her writing with Scripture and biblical illustrations
as well as drawing from other sources when appropriate. I
heartily recommend this encouraging book!