Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years [Paperback]

Patty Cogen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 20, 2008

In this book, child and family therapist Patty Cogen, M.A., Ed.D. guides parents in promoting an internationally adopted child's social and emotional adjustment, explaining how to help a child adopted between the ages of six months and five years bond with his or her new parents, become a part of the family, and develop a positive self-image that incorporates both American identity and ethnic origins. Other topics include how (and why) to tell the child's story from the child's point of view; how to handle sleep problems and resistance to household rules; and how to encourage eye contact, ease transitions and separations, and deal with problematic anniversaries (birthdays, adoption day, Mother's Day). With advice on language and school difficulties and the development of self-control and independence, Cogen guides adoptive parents from the initial meeting through their child's teen years. It's an indispensable resource, not only for parents, but also for therapists and educators who work with adopted children.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child is a remarkably comprehensive and useful resource for both parents and practitioners. This book is a wise roadmap that anyone adopting internationally should have for easy reference. --Susan Soonkeum Cox, vice president, Holt International adoption agency

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child is a wonderful, thoughtful resource for adoptive parents. As both a therapist and a parent, Patty Cogen offers valuable, practical advice with hands-on suggestions and great tips. This is a book that will grow with you as you navigate your parenting journey. --Carrie Kitze, author of We See the Moon and I Don't Have Your Eyes

About the Author

Patty Cogen has a doctorate in education and a master's degree in clinical psychology and has taught in both universities and elementary schools. She leads First Year Home groups for adoptive families, and advises parents all over the United States about their internationally adopted children and lectures to organizations across the nation on adoption and child development. She lives with her husband and two children, one of whom was adopted from China.

Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Harvard Common Press (April 20, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558323260
• ISBN-13: 978-1558323261
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.1 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.8 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #195,273 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #29 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families

More About the Author

Hi, I'm Patty Cogen, the author of Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child--from your first moments together through the teen years.

I grew up in Los Angeles and by the time I was 30 years old I had lived on the West, East and Gulf coasts. I ultimately moved back to the west coast where I met my husband, Larry. We started our family with Robin, a son. When he was four years old, Robin asked me to adopted a sister for him and eventually, we did adopted Sun-Jia, from China. Because of a series of adoption "miscarriages", our children are nine years apart. I often say I have two "only" children. We all live in Seattle, Washington.

Having one birthed and one adopted child has given me a unique perspective on mothering and child-rearing.
There was so much I wanted to put into my book, but the publisher said, "that's enough!" So more of my thoughts can be found on my website: www.pattycogenparenting.info

I know most people who pick up my book are going to be new or first time parents with young children, but I encourage you to read the book even if your children are older. I spent a lot of time developing the information about pre-teens and teens to help with those two challenging periods of parenting.

Teens have so much on their plates to begin with; and being adopted makes a life even more complicated. My daughter joined an Asian leadership group and was the only adopted teen, the only teen with white parents. Where does an internationally adopted teen really fit in? On the other hand, Sun-Jia was delighted to find other kids who didn't use napkins (not popular in China) and who loved noodles as much as she did.

I hope you find my book useful. I wrote it as if I were talking to you while we shared a pot of tea in your living room (or in my den). People who have read the book say the book sounds just like me, which is wonderful to hear.
If you have questions or topics you like more information on, e-mail me. I might just write a short essay and post it on my website as an answer.

Warm regards,
Patty

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years February 25, 2009

By S. Mortinson

Format:Hardcover

We were required by our adoption agency to read several adoption related books. Unfortunately, this book was not on the list. We've had our little internationally adopted child home for two years now, and just recently had this book recommended to us. How I wish we had read it before we even brought her home!!!! This is a GREAT book that I would highly recommend to anyone who is considering adopting or already have their child home. This book is very easy to read and understand, really down to earth. If we had read the book earlier we would have recognized some issues in our child earlier that we could have worked on much sooner. We have three biological children, and now our one adopted child. Raising an internationally adopted child is far, far different than raising a bio child. This is a great book. I'm going to tell our adoption agency that they ought to put it on their required reading list!

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive Behavioral Assessment with good parenting strategies June 13, 2008

By Life Is Good

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a parent of an internationally adopted son, I have found this book very helpful in assessing behaviors witnessed in my son and getting to root causes to deal with them. The book also includes several games and strategies that foster attachment. Most importantly, it will help clarify your expectations regarding the parenting of internationally adopted children. This is a difficult adventure and you must always take time to relish the victories when they occur (such as when your child takes you by the hand to show you a toy for the first time).

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A brightly written book with honest insights July 16, 2008

By Toy

Format:Paperback

This book offers honest insights into the ebbs and flows of parenting your internationally adopted child while taking us inside the lives of families facing important decisions as parents.

The sections about teens are especially important in today's world of confusion about parenting the adolescent. Most touching to me is the respect the author shows for teens.

The book leaves the reader feeling supported, with a sense of warmth and hope that even when faced with the most challenging moments as a parent of a teen, there are proven ways to grow through them. Patty Cogen shares concrete methods to use as a parent.

This is an important book that would be useful for any parent of a child adopted from a foreign country. Clinicians interested in clear views about proactive and supportive parenting of children in general would be grateful to have this comprehensive, real-life guide close at hand.