Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child [Hardcover]

Dana Chidekel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 2, 2002

How many times have you said, "How many times do I have to tell you...?" Why do the terrible twos exist and what makes them so terrible -- and for whom? In "Parents in Charge," Dr. Dana Chidekel answers these questions while providing a road map to raising children who will become competent, responsible, thoughtful, and successful adults.

Full of uncommon wisdom and common sense, based solidly in developmental theory and the most recent brain research, this empowering guide offers practical solutions to everyday parenting dilemmas: What is effective discipline, and when and how do you use it? How do you promote "real" self-esteem in kids? How can you stop saying no all the time? With honesty and simplicity, Dr. Chidekel also tackles hot-button topics of current parenting practice, including children's calling adults by their first names, out-of-control birthday parties, and the limits parents must put on their own behavior.

Enlivened with stories, anecdotes, and a healthy dose of humor, "Parents in Charge" gives you the tools you need to raise children that you -- and other people -- will love and enjoy.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Do your children run your household? Clinical psychologist Dana Chidekel offers help and hope for parents whose days are spent in nonstop negotiation with their feisty offspring. Drawing on developmental psychology, brain research, and case examples, Chidekel describes step-by-step strategies for becoming what she calls "an authoritative parent," one who is unapologetic about setting rules and creating boundaries. "Within the structure and consistency of boundaries, children experience freedom," she promises.

Targeted to parents of newborn to school-age children, Parents in Charge is packed with provocative observations and practical strategies. One of the most helpful parts of the book highlights how parenting casts light on a parent's own childhood memories--and the contrast between the cultures of early childhood and adulthood. Vivid examples of the differences in how children and adults experience time, language, and consequences will cause parents to chuckle in recognition and relief. The book also sweats the small stuff: writing thank you notes, calling adults by their first names, and the need to rethink birthday parties with bulging party bags. Parents will be reassured and reinvigorated by Chidekel's wise counsel. --Barbara Mackoff

From Publishers Weekly

Chidekel, a psychologist specializing in children's issues, offers advice to parents on how to avoid or at least minimize common behavior problems such as tantrums, punishment, anger and guilt. While parenting is always a challenge, the author believes that it can be stressful and traumatic if parents don't have the right approach. Most parents, she argues, bring their own baggage to their skills as parents, which can affect their childrearing and their child. "To be the best parent you can be," she says, "you must develop your awareness of your self. The better you know yourself and the more awareness you have of what has influenced you, the better able you are to see yourself and your children and to make the best choices for you and your family." To help readers navigate through the many issues parents face, Chidekel offers brief examples followed by a suggested course of action. Her advice is sound, if sometimes obvious. For example, if a toddler has just put gum over a pair of expensive new shoes, the author advises his parent to calm down before having a discussion about manners. With its mixture of short-term solutions and long-term reflections, this book will prove helpful for parents who have the time to read and perform some self-analysis. Other, more harried parents may prefer quick-fix solutions without all the underlying psychology.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster (January 2, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743202023
• ISBN-13: 978-0743202022
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,034,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The BEST childcare book out there, January 6, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child (Hardcover)

I am not a fan of self-help books on how to be a parent. I rarely feel I get useful advice. This book is the exception. I could not put it down. I have a very 2 year-old daughter, and after trying a few of the authors techniques, my husband and I already see a vast improvement in our relationship to our daughter. The author's advice on proper use of time-outs, the use of "no", the use of "please" make sense and seem to be working. I will recommend it to all new parents, and those with children under the age of 10.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Theres something in here for everyone with small children, January 22, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child (Hardcover)

After seeing Dana Chidekel on the today show I knew I would benefit from reading her book, and I did! It was so good to see that someone else besides my pediatrician believes disipline and structure go hand in hand with love when it comes to raising children. As parents of three children with totally different personalities, and age span, my husband and I were struggling to find a consistent yet flexible way of dealing with daily issues that met all their needs and ours, and this book gave us that. Not everything will work for everyone, but I'm sure anyone reading Parents in Charge will connect with it on some level.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars FANTASTIC BOOK!, January 18, 2002

By 

Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Parents in Charge: Setting Healthy, Loving Boundaries for You and Your Child (Hardcover)

Chidekel is quite correct in saying that "many parents bring along their own baggage to their skills as a parent." As a counsellor, I agree with the author that to be an effective parent one should first develop their own awareness of self. Parents tend to bring both the positive and negative aspects of their own personal upbringing to their role as a parent. How many times do you recall as a child saying, "When I have children, I am never going to say or do that to my child." In reality, many of us do find ourselves saying or doing the same things to our children as our parents said or did to us. Some of that is healthy, other aspects are not - no parent is perfect, we all have strengths and weaknesses.

The author has written a fantastic book on the subject of raising emotionally healthy, confident and productive children. Children learn from example and learn to accept themselves in the same light they are accepted by their parents. While some advice in the book may seem more like everyday common sense to some, as a counsellor, I can assure you that good old-fashioned common sense is not necessarily a natural part of every parent's psychological make-up. If that was true, we would not have the number of parental child abuse cases we have today.

This book is highly recommended to every parent who wants to improve their parenting skills. No matter how experienced one is, as a parent we can never know enough - our children's future and the choices they make as an adult will, in part, depend on the lessons learned and experiences encountered as a child.