Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? How to Resolve the Most Common Dilemmas with Aging Parents [Paperback]

Joseph A. Ilardo (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2001

Practical guide for people whose parents are still competent and on their own but showing signs of aging-like they should stop driving but won't, etc.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Clinical social worker Ilardo and clinical psychologist Rothman codirect the Center for Adult Children of the Elderly and the Center for Caregiver Studies in Scarsdale, NY. Here, they have simply and logically condensed years of experience at those institutions. In straightforward text, they present a problem-solving model that anyone can use with his/her aging parents. The groundwork of the model is immediately followed by analyses of 25 common dilemmas (e.g., how to deal with an elderly parent who insists on driving or who refuses to take medication) with possible outcomes. After each scenario, the authors pose six questions: Does everyone agree that the problem exists? How urgent is the problem? What's behind the behavior? What is hooking the adult child? Who must be included in the discussions? And, finally, what is the expected goal or final outcome? Very similar in scope to Grace Lebow and Barbara Kane's Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent (Avon, 1999), this is an excellent choice for parents, adult children, caretakers, and other health professionals. Lisa Wise, Broome Cty. P.L., Binghamton, NY
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Vanderwyk & Burnham; 1 edition (April 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1889242144
• ISBN-13: 978-1889242149
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,608,309 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Will save you immense amounts of stressful anxiety, June 8, 2001

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? How to Resolve the Most Common Dilemmas with Aging Parents (Paperback)

Joseph Ilardo and Carole Rothman effectively collaborate in Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? to show stressed out adult children how to resolve the most common and frequently encountered dilemmas that arise from efforts to care their aging parents. Cogent, insightful, practical, and competent problem solving advice, suggestions, and observations are provided when an aging parent can no longer safely drives but is refusing to quit; detrimentally skimps on expenses even though they are not poverty stricken; refuse to see a doctor or ignore medical advice; want to move in with their children; antagonize home health aides and other support workers; are unwilling to discuss vital end-of-life issues and decisions; and more. Also of great and enduring value is the advice on handling adult siblings who refuse to help in the care and problems of the aging parent; resent the time spent caring for a parent; disagree, discourage, or undermine parental care efforts; steals from the parent, and more. If you are undertaking the responsibilities of caring for an aging parent, begin with a careful reading of Joseph Ilardo and Carole Rothman's Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? It will save you immense amounts of stressful anxiety and bewildered frustration -- as well as substantially improve the quality and effectiveness of your efforts in behalf of your aging parent.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful!, August 16, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? How to Resolve the Most Common Dilemmas with Aging Parents (Paperback)

At last, real solutions to the reality of the day-to-day problems/frustration when dealing with aging parents who are "DRIVING YOU CRAZY!" Great title, easy to read, valuable advice, and it really helped me cope better. The other book I also highly recommend is "Elder Rage," which is fun to read because it is filled with humor about this most heart-breaking subject. Both books will get you through it!

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You Don't Have to be a Martyr to Caregiving, May 29, 2004

By 

Phyllis Staff (Dallas, Texas USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy? How to Resolve the Most Common Dilemmas with Aging Parents (Paperback)

Are your parents driving you crazy? Have you shouldered too much responsibility for their care? Do your siblings ignore the problems? Is your own family suffering? Llardo and Rothman have devised a method to help you arrive at solutions to these and other common problems that face caregivers.

Before those problems get completely out of control, get and read this book. The method the authors propose has worked for others - it can work for you if you take the time to follow their method and do the problem/solution work. You don't have to be a martyr to your caregiving duties.

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D.
author, "How to Find Great Senior Housing"
and
"128 Ways to Prevent Alzheimer's and Other Dementias"