Customer Reviews

Parents' Guide to Child Discipline

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As I said to my daughter when I sent Dr. Dreikur's books to her, I wish I had had these books when she was growing up. Things would have been so much easier for both of us.

Behavioral problems, psychological problems, are addressed in a simple straightforward no-nonsense way. No charts, rewards, money, candy, treats. Simple approach requires detachment, understanding motivation, peer pressure, need for approval, and the idea of consequence. Children learn to think for themselves what they want based on logical consequences, rather than requiring rewards for good behavior that may be capricious and inconsistent, and ultimately are not reinforcing self-determination and internal motivation. Excellent for parents, teachers, and anyone who comes in contact with children.

I have MS degree U.Ore 71 in Dreikurs family counseling of 'Cooperative Parenting' with Ray Lowe Phd, where Dreikurs MD set it up in 1950s. We used a public family counseling system open to whoie community watching us counseling open parents on stage with kids playing in co-op playspace. That lasted on campus till 1990s. All of Dreikurs books explain the same basic ways of communicating with children, equal in presence, is similar to 'NVC - NonViolent Communication' (derived from Dreikurs) now with Marshall Rosenberg. We love' Social equality' in relationships building trust together making agreement to cooperate. Also we respect how childrens feeling & ask them fair ??s to learn what they want & pains to release now.

Thats the opposite of our competitive culture of 'power struggles' to win, achieve & beating the othes in 'human race' to win rewards. The 4 'Faulty goal's that Dreikurs exposes "unconscious needs' are: 1. Attention craving unmet needs; 2. 'Power struggles' for social control; 3. Revenge, envy & jealousy; 4. Helpless, & Assumed disability - giving up, poor me & self pity, depression or suicidal escape. If we identify their unmet needs & offer help when their ready, they will learn to assert natural goals in peace.

(Children: The Challenge : The Classic Work on Improving Parent-Child Relations--Intelligent, Humane & Eminently Practical by R. Dreikurs)

So now we see, learn & cooperate or preventing conflicts here are by being present with children's real feelings, needs, fears, goals & what they want now? Dreikurs many books explains our human relationships better than any parenting teacher in 20th C. Now Jane Nelsen does "Positive Discipline" books & programs using Dreikurs ways of 'Cooperative Parenting' anyone can do with kids if wse stay open to communicating both our feeling needs fairly creating peace at home & family fun together.