Customer Reviews

Paris

5 star:		(98)
4 star:		(54)
3 star:		(33)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(115)

 

 

Something interesting I've been noticing is that many people (some of my friends included) are saying that they are surprised by how much they like Paris Hilton's new single. You shouldn't be. Someone with her infinite wealth can easily afford to hire the right team to make her album as addictive as possible. This is the same tactic that allowed Britney Spears to achieve huge success so quickly. She had powerhouse producers behind her to make her music extremely infectious, causing just about anybody who didn't know any better to think to themself, "Wow! This girl's a great artist!" No. There's a difference between being a great artist and someone with the right team of producers working on their side.

This music is addictive because of its simplicity. Simple tunes are easier to hum/sing/remember, which is very appealing to some people. They contain "safe" harmonic and melodic structures where scale degrees and chords proceed to predictable locations, which are very immediately pleasing to the ear, yet not very rewarding (especially in the long-run). Paris' music is just that: predictable melodic/hamonic structure, geared toward making people think that she is actually a surprisingly valid artist, when she's actually deceiving them so that she can gain even more fame and fortune. How predictable...like her music.

On top of it all, there's a magical device that the music industry has tried to keep hush-hush over the years, but is now becoming common knowledge to the public. Referred to by producing veteran, DJ Premiere, in the video that accomopanies Christina Aguilera's new Back to Basics album as "auto-tune", this aweful technology allows producers to adjust the pitch of someone's voice after it's been recorded. Wonderful. At least before, people with minimal talent had to re-record over and over until they got it right, hopefully learning a little bit about relative pitch in the process and forcing them to slowly learn how to sing in the process. Obviously, Paris has used this. Her "interpretation" of the melody in this song is so terrible that she obviously has had little or no vocal training, and thus, has no more of a concept of relative pitch than anybody else in the country.

Paris said in an on-set interview for her video that she does not want people to think that she is just making an album just to do it, but that she has dreamed of making one since she was very young. Well guess what, Paris? Just because you want to make an album doesn't mean you should. Leave that to the dedicated, intelligent musicians of substance like Sheryl Crow, U2, Alicia Keys, and OutKast. Go take some music theory courses and intensive voice lessons and study some of the music that came out before you were born. Read some good literature. Exercise your mind. Then maybe, even you can release a respectable album.

Ladies and Gents, if you're suffering from horrendous constipation, this trashy CD is the perfect remedy for your monstrous cramps! Just one listen, and you'll be bursting thru that bathroom door like there will be no tomorrow! Better than Ex-Lax! Highly recommended for senior citizens.

Having heard the whole album it's clear - this girl does not yet know how to sing - if that's your idea of unpretentious so be it. Were it up to me I would take "Stars are Blind" (which IS catchy, has an lazy, "island" feel which works well with her soft tease of a voice), "Screwed", and "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" and scrap the rest of this album. The latter cover of Rod Stewart needs to be redone, sounds too much like the original, please use a little imagination. Bottom line: except for "Stars are Blind" this is a forgettable album no matter what your tastes are.
PS - if you think payola is dead in the music industry just try to fathom Stephen Thomas Erlewine's review for All Music Guide. That's an embaressment.

This is one of those "Where's-the-zero-star-option?" CD's. It sucks. It's nothing but a huge ego trip for Paris (Fightin' Over Me, which is even worse than it sounds, is a good example). Paris is famous for simply being born, it's not like she actually does anything to deserve that fame, or her fortune. So, to make more money, she puts out a crappy dance-pop CD that makes Jessica Simpson look like Joni Mitchell. Of course, Jessica Simpson still sucks. It's about time Paris did something MEANINGFUL with her money. I mean, I'm a teenager who makes twenty dollars a week, and I still gave my weekly pay for Katrina on more than one occasion. What about Paris? Chances are she said, "Oh, that's horrible" in a not-too-convincing voice and went off to get a pedicure or implants or whatever. Even gangsta rap is better. Even alternative rock is better. Even frickin' death-metal is better, okay? This sucks.

Twenty years ago, 2 years before my birth, no label would have signed a "singer" like this. It is just trendy basically. It also shows you the horror that is the music buisness. Not only that they could sign a horrific atrocity like this, but that people are so desperate to make money that they would overlook talented unsigned bands for this trash. Now, I won't push the music I do love on you the reviewer, like most would (including myself) because no matter what you like, rock,jazz,blues, REAL rap, metal, folk, whatever. You will understand where I am coming from. Music is about passion and talent. The only thing paris has a passion for is money and her only talent is spending it. Don't support this. Support real music.

For the love of music, do yourself a favor and pass up on shelling out your dollars on Paris Hilton's self-titled album. A CD that has been in gestation for two years, "Paris" is a smoldering smorgasbord of embarrassing, gimmicky pop schlock that could not be more painful to listen to. Why is that? This chick has no talent.

Sure, some of the songs are mildly flirtatious and fun in the lyrical department, but even with an assortment of cream of the crop songwriters in the pop music scene Hilton cannot obscure the fact that she is nothing but a quick buck for a record company cashing in on her pointless fame. She can sing without her voice cracking, but she is definitely unworthy of even the D-list of pop vocalists, and her persona and style certainly don't boost her over the artistic threshold. She is to Gwen Stefani what Jessica Simpson is to Mariah Carey, only even worse; the poorest imitation.

The sole glimpse of talent on the record is on the egotistical "Fightin' Over Me," but only because Fat Joe and Jadakiss give it a much-needed facelift. Nevertheless, just like all the rest of the tracks, it is pure, unadulterated product. Hearing her whisper "that's hot" and namedropping hot shot producer Scott Storch under her breath at the beginning of the mind-numbing "Turn It Up" is even less of a pleasure.

Some of the beats on "Screwed" create a cool cadence, but no one has ever sounded less like they knew what they were singing about. Also, "Stars Are Blind"? "Stars Are Deaf" is more like it. Or at the very least, "Stars Are Bland," for never has their been a more bland pop single. Lastly, her cover of Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" turns the classic into a lightweight roller disco confection, but she simply cannot deliver a decent voice and, most importantly, any grit or soul.

Do yourself a favor and refrain from buying "Paris." Don't support music that is 100% product and 0% genuine or a woman who inspires misogyny as she thrusts herself down the throats of Americans on a daily basis. For a pop album that actually sounds great in every aspect, opt instead for the latest releases from Madonna, Robbie Williams or any Kylie Minogue album this side of 2000.

Products like "Paris" are complete and utter atrocities, and spell death for art as we know it. Just wait - in late December you'll read the following obituary: "Art As We Know It passed away December 23, 2006 at 9:25 pm. It was 1097 years old. It passed away upon the realization that Paris Hilton's debut album was certified platinum."

... the seals have been broken, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are upon us, and there are no souls left in the Guff. If anyone on Earth ever takes this narcissistic, foul-natured brat seriously with this then you are completely retarded. Am I romanticizing the past or did music used to have conscience and soul? This ain't cuttin' it babe ... and I have listened to it ... much to the dismay or my poor little ear drums. I will never put myself through something like that again. Studio manipulation masking an insanely untalented individual. It's not only amazing that people buy it ... but some even claim it's good. OK time to get off my soapbox ... PARIS FANS REJOICE!!!!

Wow ... there's bad, and then there's this CD. Thank god I didn't pay to listen to this ... a friend's niece bought it and my friend said, "It's so bad, you've GOT to hear it."

I was hoping that at least the music would be good, but my friend was right ... it's b-a-d, bad.

And sorry, but Paris can't carry a tune in a bucket. She REALLY needs to stick to what she's good at - modeling and making night vision movies.

miss independent get over being such a juvenile trouble maker and learn to accept the fact that people don't like your music. And you think you have comebacks your comments are pure smart a*s. Also C Isley do your own dirty work. Stop fighting other peoples battles and thats 2 against 1. You people don't know the meaning of fair play. Like what bothers you so much about people not liking a bunch of manufactured junk made by a waste of flesh like Paris Hilton? Like why don't you read IAmARevenants reviews his more independent than you are. He buys music that he wants to listen to not what the media wants him to buy. Continue doing what your doing if you wish but don't for a minute wonder why people are sending you bad comments. As for the album its worthless and anyone who gives it anything more than 1 star is the laughing stock of my life. It just shows you that you need no real talent to start a singing career today all you need is money. Thats all people care about today money money money. I miss the time when music was about lyrical abilities, meaningful topics, good singing, now it seems to be the exact opposite. Its actually kind of worrying the thought that there are enough plain stupid people to make people like this waste of space millionaires. All I see today is kids with their fancy ipods listening to this pop junk, back when I was a kid people would laugh at bull like this. Probably in another 50 years people will be so stupid that theyll buy a CD with people pooping for the whole thing. The world is quickly becoming so ridiculously stupid its beyond a joke. Also another thing for miss independent I think your doubly dumb for thinking record sales have anything to do with good music

It's pretty hard to write objectively when the subject is one of the most infamous figures in modern pop culture. Then again, sometimes you need a little nastiness to be really truthful.

And in this case, the subject is one of the most justifiably mocked albums of 2006 this far has been Paris Hilton's "Paris," a light-as-air album full of lightweight club beats and processed vocals. Given that all she ever sings about is how hot she is, it's kind of like listening to a sex robot.

The most prominent single is "Stars Are Blind," which probably has the best melody on the album. Of course, that's because it also blatantly imitates the reggae beats of "The Tide is High," the pop song by the quintessential blonde pop star. Although it's nearly impossible to imagine Hilton singing that "I'm not the kinda girl."

The album hits its nadir early on, with the appalling hip-hop song "Fighting Over Me." Jadakiss does most of the vocals. Hilton only sings the bridge -- and a narcissistic one it is too: "Everytime I step out the house they want to fight over me/Maybe cause I'm hot to death and I'm so so so SEX-EE!" she squeals, sounding delighted.

Things only get worse with the wispy club beats of songs like "Turn It Up," the meandering "I Want You" and the lackluster heavy beats of "Nothing in This World." There's a dabble in guitar pop, still heavily synthesized, before the style switches back to lightweight club pop. Unsurprisingly, it wraps up with a breathy cover of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy."

Basically, there's not much to recommend this album, except to people who will listen to anything with a techno beat. It's generic musically, not really memorable in any way -- but its quality is brought even lower by appallingly narcissistic lyrics and terrible vocals.

And it's undeniable that Hilton's voice is a terrible one. She sings in a Betty Boop voice, which has been processed until it sounds robotic. But no amount of computer tweaking can hide the fact that she has zero vocal range, and even gets a little off-key. When she's coos "other half of my heartbeat," you can hear that she's straining to hold the note.

Don't expect the "music" to cover up the multitude of sins in Paris's voice or the songs written for her. The lightweight techno is just a predictable series of electrobeats; I doubt this took more than ten minutes to whip up. It's fairly pleasant in terms of catchiness, but it's also completely forgettable and gets annoying if you listen to it more than once.

Listening to "Paris" is like listening to a self-important sex robot rhapsodizing about her wares. Even as bubblegum music, this is appallingly empty and derivative.