Customer Reviews

Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Throughout this book, I found myself agreeing with a lot of what Jack has to say. His words resonate with my philosophies about BDSM. As some of you know, he has a weekly email column called "Leather Views" and reading this book in some ways is like an extended version of one of his column. His writing is always entertaining and usually thought-provoking, as is this book.

Since this book applies to leather relationships, most chapters are devoted to topics relating to these kinds of relationships. From the beginning chapter on "leather vocabulary," to the chapter called "Archetypes of SM relationships," to chapters on "knowing yourself" and "knowing what you want" in a SM partner. And he devotes a separate chapter to looking for partners. There's a lot of advice he offers that a lot of us don't always follow but should. There are also chapters that discuss the pros and cons of monogamy versus polygamy, the concept of "clubs" and "leather families," and relationship problems (he calls them "elephants in the room").

Jack offers his thoughts in a well thought out manner and raises points all of us in SM relationships should consider either before we enter into one or how to deal with issues once we are in one. An excellent book overall.

First, let be honest upfront -- I looked over this book while it was being written and the concerns I raised then were dealt with by the author so I have nothing negative to say about this book.

This book, like all of Rinella's books thus far, is supposed to make you think; it is not a how-to. He looks briefly at the history of kink, focuses on the community itself, then really gets to his goal: healthy relationships that are kinky. The advice is realistic and honest. It reassuring for many of us to known that a well respected and well-known gay leatherman of the last decade and a half has seen ups and downs in his own relationships and those of others around him. Doing Ds does not have to be just a fantasy nor does it mean living up to an ideal; it means embracing your desires and needs together as partners regardless of the role.

Anyone seeking greater self-awareness and/or a deeper understanding of the complexity of BDSM relationships can learn a great deal from "Partners in Power." No matter whether one is a neophyte to BDSM or an experienced player, the truth is that life offers so many opportunities to continue learning and exploring, and it is wonderful to have resources such as this book to edify, to enlighten and to guide.

Mr. Rinella's book features an amazing composition of philosophical axioms, scholarly excerpts, personal vignettes, and practical mechanisms for seeking knowledge, such as "The Scientific Method." His style of writing connects exceedingly well with readers and he conveys his knowledge in such a way that it is insightful, eloquent and pedagogical without being preachy or patronizing.

I would highly recommend the book to anyone seeking greater knowledge and understanding of kinky relationships.

The book over all is fantastic, but I find it to be missing, or perhaps denying one rather large classification under "The Archetypes of SM Relationships". The chapter mentions Daddy/boy relationships but fails to mention anything about Daddy/girl relationships. I understand that there is a limited space in a book, but that is a really key piece of information in my opinion.