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Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto Paperback – Bargain Price, January 6, 2003
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Top Customer Reviews
It's an uphill fight, but it's definitely worth the effort. This book isn't one of the many attempts to offer introverts "coping skills" or networking tips for surviving with our sanity in an extroverted world. Instead, it's more of a call to extroverts out there to understand whom you're dealing with ... or more correctly, whom they're not dealing with ... and what we're all about.
To do this, Rufus covers a wide range of history and popular culture, showing how introverts have carved out places for themselves and learned to live with at least some degree of peace, despite the constant tug of "caring" people crying, "Come out of your shell and live a little!" It may seem paradoxical for a loner to tell other loners "We're not alone," but in this instance, it's a surprisingly comforting message.
Rufus's chapter on crime may be the most important, and the one with the widest implications outside the introvert community (so to speak), because it's here that she tackles the myth of the murderous loner and attempts to salvage the word from those who, she argues, misuse it so terribly.
Loners, she says, are people who *want* to be alone. Who enjoy their solitude. But many of the criminals who have been tagged as "loners" don't fit that description at all.Read more ›
Anneli Rufus has done a magnificent job telling about life from a loner's perspective and making it all sound capable and NORMAL. She writes chapters on the loner in community, popular culture, films, advertising, friendships, love & sex, technology, art, literature, religion, sanity, crime, eccentricity, clothes, environment, solo adventures and at last childhood. The words are a true manifesto for a loner's hungry soul, finally another person who understands.
In a world where loners are thought to be strange, crazy serial killers who cannot conform to society, Rufus encourages the idea that most loners in truth are the great creators and contemplators of the world. Issac Newton, Michaelangelo, writers, artists and philosophers become necessary human beings within all of their secretiveness. Instead of being arrogant attention getting hounds most loners create from the heart and give without a need for recognition, the truly unselfish can be found only in those selfish enough to enjoy being alone.
I would have loved to have given this book to a teacher who I had as a child. I remember sitting in a room with my parents while they were told by the "teacher" that she felt I was somehow autistic and withdrawn and might need "special" education. Despite my A's, my ability to pay attention and my athletic ability I was labeled and marked as a failure in her eyes. I wonder how many children today are pegged as something they are not and guided in a wrong direction. It took me 40 years to figure out how unique and completely normal I really am but I would hope after reading this book many others could celebrate the adventure alot sooner. A must read for those of you with quiet, withdrawn children who would rather day dream than stand around with all the other cattle.
If you are an extrovert, if you think of loners as nerdy (I assure you we aren't), or if you just don't like books that enlighten a different facet of humanity, then I'm not sure you're going to "get anything" from reading this book.
If you are a loner (or think you might be, or aren't really sure), then this book is helpful. I found the author's writing agreeing closely with what I've felt all of my life but never discussed with others (loners rarely get together to discuss such things). It was reassuring to know that others out there think, feel, and have the same preferences as I do.
However, Rufus unfairly misrepresents the general public's attitudes about loners. The fact is, in my (adult) experiences, the vast majority of people are impartial to loners. I don't get the notion that most people hate, crucify, belittle, disrespect, or rebuke loners. In fact, I receive as much (or likely more) respect from friends, family, and coworkers because I am somewhat of a loner. I believe true loners are well-adjusted, quietly confident people who have excellent social skills balanced with the ability to find meaning to life during time spent alone. The author seems to be screaming at the world "Look at me! I'm alone and I'm happy and you'd better respect me for it!" Wrong approach.
That having been said, the book is still worth reading for those folks who consider themselves loners. There's enough information in the book to make it worthwhile, and the language and writing skills of the author make it very readable. However, you'll have to "filter" out the author's bile from what appears to be a hint of paranoia.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is seriously good for people like me who just like being alone and not part of the mob.Published 8 days ago by Linn
This book perfectly describes what a loner actually is - we're not unibombers or mean people or hate people. Read morePublished 21 days ago by floridarose
Accurate depiction of introversion and excellently written.Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
If you ever felt guilty for spending time all by yourself and constantly pressured to make some excuses for not hanging out with others, this book is yours. Read morePublished 2 months ago by AHW
Great book! Highly recommended for all introverts, or someone trying to understand onePublished 3 months ago by Jen
A bit drawn out to get to the point in the beginning, yet still a good book for loners to get some understanding that they can't get from human interaction.Published 3 months ago by Sandy
Thank you for offering this book for the Kindle app!! I've been searching for it!! Thank you so much!!Published 3 months ago by Bobby Ward
Finally somebody gets it. And Us. And is so eloquent and funny about it all that it brings a tear to my eye. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer