Customer Reviews

Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life

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4 star:		(3)
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Reading Passages by Gail Sheehy was a turning point in my life. I especially remember "The most important words in midlife are--Let Go. Let it happen to you. Let it happen to your partner. Let the feelings. Let the changes." "You can't take everything with you when you leave on the midlife journey." "You are moving out of roles and into the self." in Part Six "Deadline Decade" Chapter 17 "Riding Out the Downside". Knowing this, I felt a great sense of relief knowing that the only person I could change is myself. From that point on I was quietly inspired to look for more information that I could read or hear (tapes) that would help me pull myself together. I treated my family more lovingly and I went back to college to finish my degree. Everyone would benefit from reading this inspiring classic. Thank you Gail Sheehy for your wonderful insight.

"Passages" is a classic book about confronting the changes of middle age, and the author has a no-nonsense style that is really refreshing. It was very helpful to hear how many people who reach middle age (whenever that is) have many of the same confusing and upsetting feelings, how we're not nuts, and how there IS light at the end of the tunnel. However, having said that, this book seemed quite dated to me. It was written in the 1970s when it was still the norm for women to marry in their early 20's without any career training, a college education, or any experience with independent living. The crises that these women confronted in middle age are a bit different than modern women face, since many modern women have achieved quite a bit of independence before establishing a relationship with a partner, or choosing to remain single. Also, I found the discussion of men's lives reflected the 1970's social norms as well, i.e. that most men followed the traditional business-career route, and were pretty sexist in their attitudes towards their wives. This social bias is reflected in her discussion of difficulties that couples face during various stages of their lives. Some of the psychological research the author referred to is quite out of date as well. Still, I think the author presented some great insights about the feelings that many middle aged people experience, and despite the somewhat dated psychological and social perspectives, this book is really worth reading, particularly if you just skim over the outdated stuff. One thing that really struck me is how much our modern view of when "middle age" occurs differs from what the author presented in her book. She described people beginning to confront "middle age" around age 35. Nowadays, 35 is still considered very young, and many people don't start feeling "middle-aged" until their mid 40's, or even 50's. So we've come a long way since the 1970's with our perception of what is "old", which is just what the author would like to hear! For anyone who has reached the stage in their adult lives when they are confronting their feelings of being "unsafe," and when their usual coping mechanisms just don't seem to be working, definitely read this book for some insights. You are not alone!

This book was purchased for my 28-year-old daughter. She and I were visiting and discussing "life" issues and I got out my copy of Passages, copyright 1977, that I had purchased many years ago at a used book store when she was just a toddler. She was so surprised at how many of the marked passages in my book that she identified with that she knew she had to have a copy of her own. A book that identifies life situations across the generations is a book well worth having. I'm so glad you are still making it available to a new generation. Some things never change ....

Excellent book! Gail breaks down the stages of this adult hood. Some of the things we complain our parents never told us about? Gail explains much of it, including the subtle internal changes adults feel, and wonder if they should disappear from society and become a recluse.

The book presents explanations of the changes we experience as an adult and using common sense language.

This book is in the top five of my favorites. It helped me understand different stages of life and what to expect as we age and mature. I read it for the first time in my 30's and now in my 50's I'm reading it again and still picking up new nuggets of valuable information. This book should be mandatory reading for every woman.

I was thrilled to find a copy of this book. I came into ownership of a copy years ago when I was younger and have remembered many the lessons which have helped me over these many years. I have now shared this book with 3 people whom also agree that it is "right on point", at least for our age group. Yeah! The price could not be beat and the seller delivered just as promised. Happy customer.

I'm not kidding, and it's been a standing joke in the family that I've taken this book with me on dozens of vacations and never finished it. I don't know why it's considered such a classic of women's wisdom, except that when it was written, nothing like it existed. I found some interesting insights, but none of the profound, earth-shaking rattles to my consciousness that I was led to expect. It is an interesting and worthwhile book for anyone experiencing major changes in life that can't be explained by a troubled marriage, kids who are driving them crazy, or a job that's evaporating with age or lack of enthusiasm. Try it, but don't expect to be bowled over.

I keep buying this book because I have friends and co-workers who are retiring and can use its useful information. It's an excellent tool to help anyone who is moving into/through another phase in their lives.

I enjoyed reading his book now, even though some of the book seems dated, as it was writen in the 70's, but much of it still holds true. The author talks about each decade of life having its own problems of identity and how one goes through the trying 20's, the 30's, and up to a mid-life crises in the forties.
I had never read a book that broke down human development into stages, so I thought it was interesting how the author describes that everyone goes through changes throught all the decades in general.
This book was a little long, but I enjoyed it. I especailly enjoyed chapters 17 and 25.

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child. Adoptee Judith Romano found the information contained in the book Passages to be extremely helpful for coping with life's tribulations through understanding of normal changes in human perspective and performance based on age and experience. In Chapters 14 and 15, Sense of Urgency and Gateway to Adulthood, she is motivated to do an adoption search and her emotional growth parallels the information in the book Passages. Judith and Martin Land considered this book of significant important and highlighted it in References: Page 274-275