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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful
on March 3, 2015
I purchased this for my sister as a wedding gift when she got married. Her domestic partner was intrigued by the notion but that soon turned to anger when they figured out that two women cannot make love without utilizing friction. for approximately a week they both could not touch each other without losing their balance. After the lube had been evenly distributed to every orifice of their house, the preceded to transfer the barrel into their front yard. mind you that this was far easier than anticipated, as the house is on an uphill slope, meaning that gravity had more to do with the expulsion of this barrel then they did.

After 2 days of sitting in the front yard, the barrel garnered the attention of the local homeless populous. the next day, as my sister and sister in-law walked out to their car and heard pounding noises coming from the inside the barrel. They proceed to investigate the ruckus, and found two unfortunate homeless men who had attempted bathe in the glistening vat of pleasure lube. When they made an effort to harness these men out of the lubricant, they found that it was physically impossible to gain an adequate gripping threshold for evicting them from the drum. they managed to tip the barrel over into the driveway, sending their car sliding towards a small family who lived across the street. looking at the car-sized hole in their neighbor's living room and the crimson splattered walls, they knew that it was a lawsuit in the making. They are now in court facing charges of vehicular manslaughter. My sister now disowns me, and my sister-in-law has given me death threats, which have been used in the by the plaintiffs to display inherently violent behavior.

The only good thing about this is that now, with my sister's house free while she is in Sacramento being prosecuted, I have turned her house into a skate-free roller rink. I have made a substantial profit off of this, which will likely lead to a purchasing of a yacht within the next fiscal year.
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on February 28, 2015
OMG.....what a weekend party! You can't believe how this feels in a 10 person hot tub! Everyone was sliding and grinding! Was so wild!
As people left, others came because they were told all about the shenanigans. I wasn't expected for the party to go so long-only one night!
Be sure to drain all your water before you dump the barrel into your tub for your party. That way you get the full effect and no one can tell it's not water! Haha
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1 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on February 27, 2015
I used this product for my dog, Archie. We really love it!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on February 27, 2015
When Bronson and I bro-ed out....we went through a tiny 6 oz bottle.....and we both had the same thought.....why don't they sell this in 55 gallon drums. When we found this it was like the rainbows parts....unicorns danced and cheeks spread.
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15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
on February 26, 2015
I was a newlywed then and after my abduction and the alien probes, I couldn't stand to let my husband touch me. He ended up divorcing me. And really I can't blame him.
Unfortunately, the aliens kept returning monthly, abducting me to study me repeatedly. A few years ago, I found this lube and purchased a barrel of it in hopes the alien probes wouldn't be as uncomfortable. This stuff is amazing! Not only did it get easier to handle the probes, I was able to accept larger and larger ones with ease, and dare I say, pleasure. For the past year, the aliens have been returning weekly instead of monthly and now instead of the same three all the time, they bring 9 different friends with them each time.
I am on a monthly auto buy program for this lube. I've never had any issues with the shipping or any spillage accidents. The aliens are incredibly strong and can pick up and carry the entire full barrel as if it weighs no more than a loaf of bread.
I have had to quit my job as it takes me the full week between their visits to recover. Fortunately, my disability benefits are covering the lube since the aliens are now collaborating with the government scientists to collect data.
Well, they'll be here tomorrow. I better get off here and start packing in the lube in advance for our orgy. Oops. I mean my medical probing. Thank you Passion Lubes for changing my previously terror filled hours with the aliens into something I can look forward to with yearning.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
on February 25, 2015
I wish they had this item on Subscribe & Save... I always seem to run out before the month is up!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on February 11, 2015
Used this to wedge my pet hippo into the back of the minivan. Hugho's been feeding him table scraps lately and he's gotten a bit plump. Works excellent but I'm giving it 4 stars because 55 gallons is only enough for 4 wedgies.
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8 of 20 people found the following review helpful
on February 9, 2015
My gf dround in the lube I tried to pull her out but she was too slippery thanks alot.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
I've been through six of these things already and I'll never buy another lube so long as I live. The tarp they include to keep it from drying out and getting all crusty works alright, but we tore one a couple of months ago when the dogs started gettin crazy. Mom cut a piece of cheese cloth and I found it actually keeps the jelly nice and slick all the way to the bottom of the barrel. We tied a few of these things together off the side of grampas dock after they emptied out and they make a great party barge. Just cap the ends off and add a few pallets.
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3 of 11 people found the following review helpful
on February 4, 2015
Giggity
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