3,437 of 3,510 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Slide Back Into the Game!
I knew getting back in the "dating game" would be a challenge after being out of it for over 5 years. When I was released from Joliet, I had to learn all the new things "the dating crowd" was trying. I knew about scented candles and Luther Vandross CDs, and sure was glad to hear people still use them. But I had no idea that "lube" was so popular with the "romantics" out...
Published on October 12, 2011 by Jerome Albertson
5,246 of 5,313 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Try this at home.
Brad and I will be Grand Marshals at this year's San Diego Pride Parade, and we were looking for just the right touch to add a bit of pizazz to our appearance. So when we stumbled across the PASSION NATURAL WATER BASED LUBRICANT - 55 GALLON drum, we felt we'd struck gold: "Just enough volume to soak an entire parade of spectators, and yet fits easily in our float." Double...
Published 5 months ago by George Takei
Most Helpful First | Newest First
67 of 76 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars setting the scene,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)Nothing gives a hint as your chosen one of the night comes into your place and sees a 55 gallon drum of lube in the corner of the living room. no need for further hints.
108 of 127 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Coming up short,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)This is great lube, but there is just not enough of it. Does anyone know where I can get a larger size?
26 of 29 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Works great, but runs out too quick!,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)This is great for the occasional quickie, but 55 gallons is hardly going to cut it for a full night of lovemaking. Bring back the 100 gallon drums!
53 of 63 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Buyer Beware,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)Contrary to the advertising copy, it also doesn't lubricate very well- my car's engine seized up less than 20 miles from home.
72 of 88 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Try it! You might like it.,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)I made this purchase with a goal in mind, I was going to convert my two turtles into a means of personal transportation from points A to Z and everywhere in between, and generally just for the hell of the fun. My plan initially was to soak them both in the lube (better than 'turtle wax' in my opinion) and use industrial strength zip ties to secure them to my platform shoes, then to ultimately slide around town and show off my ingenuity... Seemed like a decent idea upon conception.... I threw the two hard-shells into the vat of lubricant.... as I stood there with readied zip ties in hand, awaiting the moment when my amphibious amigos would be at the point of optimal slipperiness, I realized that I had left my toaster oven on (nothing like a Hot Pocket to munch on whilst one glides about on the backs of lubricated domestic turtles) and my kitchen was in danger of going up in flames. I quickly ran to get my oven mits to grab my tasty snack out of the small fire hazard... But I was too late! The cabinet above the oven went up first, then the wall behind it.... It was a horrendous sight, as flames licked every inch of flammable material in my 400 sq ft flat... Believing there was no saving the home, I ran to the aid of my pets, still suspended in the water-based lube. As I ran, I tripped over one of my thirty-seven pet muskrats, and turned to the 55 gallon drum for support (my clothes have been singed off at this point). I flailed unnecessarily as I fell, and latched onto the side of the drum with both hands, inevitably tipping it and spilling its contents all over my apartment, animals, and my self, as well as my nudist neighbor, Igor, who happened to hear the commotion and ran to my aid, thankfully my door is always open despite the fact that my neighborhood is nothing shy of an American Girl Scout's worst nightmare.
As we all tumbled around in the lubricated mess, the fire was extinguished, the Hot Pocket was sacrificed, the animals were a little bangged-up but all-in-all okay.... and I was enlightened....
Thanks to "Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon", I discovered something about myself... My life was in shambles, and something needed to be done to fix it. Sleeping in a pile of straw with muskrats is no place for a man... NO! A man needs a true companion. You see, it was never my life's mission to be a professional turtle skater, it was only to have fun, and in the midst of all the chaos that I had once blamed on the $1500 drum of lube, when Igor came in to rescue me, he slipped too, and (accidentally or otherwise) introduced me to a part of myself (or rather HIS self) that was previously unknown to me (made very easy, due to the overabundance of lubricant all over both our bodies); a FUN side of life I had not had the pleasure of feeling prior to this life altering incident.
Thank you again, "Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon", you helped me realize that I am not only a man, but I am a proud homosexual man, and if not for the purchase of this curious product, I may never have been introduced to myself.
This 55 gallon drum of water-based lubricant is not just a fun purchase, it is a life-altering investment that I personally guarantee will be worth the money in the long run. Take it from me, just try it, you never know, you might like it!
119 of 148 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars OMG THIS LUBE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)BE WARNED, this seller WILL NOT accept return of opened and partially used barrels, no matter how dire the situation.
I totally did not intend to buy the lube. It was Fruedian slip meets "Buy Now" button. It's a long story, but my therapist had suggested that instead of acting upon my uncontrollable urge to masturbate in front of farm animals, I should instead desensitive myself to the items from which such urges arise in a controlled environment. Yeah, I know, I didn't think it would work either, but what did I have to lose except another indecent exposure arrest.
So, there I was, trolling Amazon, my "safe, controlled" environment. I don't quite remember what happened. One minute I was looking at horse masks and feed bags and the next I was standing in Juan Alvarez' cow pasture with my pants around my ankles (again!). I must have blacked out or something. I finished what I was working on, then got the funk out of there. I thought I was in the clear.
Then 7-10 days later I roll out of bed around 2:00 p.m. to find this behemoth on the front porch. WTF? I pull the packing label off the barrel and find it rightfully addressed to me. Trying to find a logical explanation, I run through my Amazon account and there, in between my Yodeling Pickle (best purchase EVER!) and Porker's Monthly, was a charge for $2,039.99 for a 55-gallon barrel of lube.
I had to move the thing, my kids' case worker was due for a home visit (I needed to show that I could now provide a safe and stable (stable LOL!) home environment), and my mom was going to be home from work in a few hours. The thing was, I couldn't move the barrel! I tried to tip it over on its side, but no dice. So, I got a bucket and started pumping the lube out of the barrel to lighten the load. (For future reference, a little bit of lube will not clog a tub drain, but a whole lot will.) This was seriously taking forever. I started bailing bucket-fulls into the front yard. FINALLY, I could tip the dang thing over. I made it halfway down the front steps when I slipped in a freaking oil slick of lube. I went ass over ankles and landed on my back at the bottom of steps and the barrel landed on top of me, pinning me to the sidewalk. Some of the neighborhood kids, who were walking home from school, gathered around and tried to roll the barrel off of me. OF COURSE, who should pull up THEN but the case worker. GREAT! She already had it in for me, having found my Porker's Monthly on the last visit, and then this time finding, what she wrote up in her "report" to be me trying to "hide" my "sexual paraphenalia" using "unconsenting minors." Sure, when you write it like that, it's going to look bad.
So once the police finally leave, and the rest of the hubbub dies down, I contacted Amazon about returning the lube. BUT THEY WON'T TAKE IT BACK. I'm one seriously unhappy customer.
49 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing solution.,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)As a prison warden I have a very difficult job, a job that consists of being constantly hated, but I do try my best to make prison life more bearable for inmates, such as the weak ones who committed smaller crimes like drug use and DUI's, so you can Imagine my relief when I found this product. Prison life has never been more enjoyable! The smaller inmates are always cheerful and this product in no time pays for itself.
126 of 157 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I am an serious artist with a great need for bulk lube, and this did the trick!,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)I am an artist that works primarily in experimental performance art with elaborate, sculptural set pieces to address the human condition and the plight we experience as humans confined in these wet, malfunctioning things we call our bodies.
When hired to produce a month long installation piece addressing the traumas we all experienced, and forgot, in that first act of being born into the world, I created an enormous, nigh alien ecosystem in the pink-and-blood palette of the human body to reappropriate the female reproductive system of a human to such a scale that grown adults could in a way experience again their births, but with all the mental faculties of a developed brain and nervous system with which to process the absolute horror of being expelled from a fluid-filled womb through a vagina, nearly suffocated into the light of day, where staff dressed in lab coats would beat the participant into heaving screams to encourage breathing.
The project required an immense quantity of lubricants to operate for the entirety of a month, so this product was precisely what I required and it performed as described. The lubricant has an inoffensive smell - some may even find it pleasant - and its water solubility made for easy clean-up after patrons were expelled from my sculpture's massive vagina. I could not recommend this product more.
52 of 63 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't buy the lube, it's haunted.,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)I was a shy girl in high school. Unlike my best friend, I didn't lose my V-card until I was 17. With the culture of 16 and Pregnant, I felt that I had missed out on the American dream--pregnancy scares, Vodka binges, and not remembering most of my formative years. It was obvious that I have almost a decade of drinking and sex to make up for.
When I saved up enough money for college, I decided sexual education had to come first. I ordered the lube about a year ago, and waited with baited breathe for it to be delivered.
When the lube arrived my school was not too happy. I told them I bought it for my squeaky doors. I am not sure if they believed that I would be using 50 some odd pounds of lube for the doors. Sister Catherine just shook her head.
Father McPatrickson came by, demanding to test the lube for "sin and the devil." I gave him a few gallons and he waltzed right back out the door, heading for Sister Catherine's room. I could hear them testing the bed for almost six hours. I am glad they ended up finding the squeak, because it was driving us all insane.
So purchasing this lube was a huge mistake. The biggest I ever made in my life. I was going to have a moment to myself, but the moment it soaked into my skin was the moment I began to see... them. Shadow people? Flickers of light? The naked ghosts of so many old people. They were all drawn to the lube, their repressed, angry spirits crying out for sexual satisfaction. I tried to rub it off, but its like the lube had a mind of its own. I could see them, and the more I tried to escape, the more obvious it was that they were not going away.
For the last three weeks I have been witness to the orgies of the undead. They talk to me, but mostly they give me tips on my performance, and tell me I need to hit the gym.
I am terrified and unsure what to do. I would use the power to my advantage, but I don't think people would appreciate knowing Uncle Albert has a thing for women in galoshes and yellow rain hats.
So, I can only hope that they will leave me alone soon. I have given the lube to Mrs. Briggens down the street, who is expecting triplets and wants to be able to slide those little suckers out.
Either way, don't buy the lube--it is filled with evil.
232 of 293 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Utterly useless.,
This review is from: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon (Health and Beauty)I bought this product thinking it would be the perfect way to disentangle my 5,000-odd porcupines after a peanut butter tanker flipped over in the yard during the nightly feeding frenzy.
Instead of separating them, it just made them amorous. Now I have 2500 pregnant female porcupines, 2500 henpecked males desperate to escape, and 6000 lbs of peanut-scented-porcu-poo. Our farm, which formerly smelled lightly of lemons and sunshine, now reeks of coitus and used Jiff. The hog slaughter down the road is complaining. I'm considering a lawsuit.
Most Helpful First | Newest First
Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon by Passion Lubes