Customer Reviews

Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control

5 star:		(96)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(15)

 

 

I first read this book in my early teens, before I'd ever done any real dating. I kept going back to it, both when someone of the opposite sex was interesting me, or when down about there being no one in the picture. She offers a lot of very practical sound advice as to how to go about dating in the right way. I also found it extremely valuable when I realized that I was single, out of college, and had NO prospects on the horizon. I was able to accept that I didn't need to worry about that. God would find me a spouse, so I didn't have to. And that's exactly what He did.

Some have suggested that her personal experience was too different from most people's to be applicable. To anyone with such a perspective, I would suggest that you are reading it all wrong! I don't think Elisabeth Elliot would suggest that everyone needs to have a Jim and Elisabeth duplication in their own lives before marrying. She offers principles that apply regardless of your personal circumstances.

A couple of very valuable highlights that stand out to me, years after getting married. Her chapter on "What can a kiss tell you?" was really right on. Physical communication is tempting, but actually, it shuts down the more important forms of communication for finding Mr. Right, and can actually give you a lot of regret.

I also valued the romance in Jim's perspective when he wrote to her, "I have you now unravished." He was grateful to look forward to the time when physical intimacy was right, and to leave something to look forward to! That is so completely romantic, and I think it is almost tragic that in today's society, that romance is almost unheard of. People take what isn't theirs don't relish the anticipation of getting it AT THE PROPER TIME. My husband and I went about it that way, and I found it very romantic, both the anticipation of the consumation of my marriage, as well as when that actually took place. I wouldn't have wanted to have cheated myself out of that beautiful memory!

Old fashioned? I suppose it is. Relevant and needed in this day and age? Absolutely. When you put your love life in God's hands, that is a safe place to leave it.

Until "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" hit the evangelical Christian scene, "Passion & Purity" was the de facto standard for dating and marriage. And while the former book has gathered more press, Elliot's is still as useful and has stood the test of time.

Having read some of the one and two star reviews here, I would simply say that virginity, making sure one's relationships are upright, asking serious questions about the worthiness of a potential mate, surrendering one's sexuality to God, dealing with loneliness, and knowing how to die to self daily are practices and beliefs that never go out of style.

Frankly, I believe this book has as much to offer as anything out there. That it is coming up on twenty years in the market does not diminish the power of the words contained inside. With the rampant promiscuity among young people, even those who claim the name of Christ, and the fallout that results in young lives because of a shattered soul given away in pieces to one sex partner after another, "Passion & Purity" still calls to all who will hear.

As for me, I heeded the words of the author as a young man and was able to hold on amidst the storm of sexual imagery and waning morality. This book was invaluable in that regard, helping me to see that I was not my own - I was bought with a price. How could I trample on that price?

Let me also say that after reading this book, I wrote Elisabeth Elliot and she wrote me a very kind and thoughful reply. If there is anything anochronistic about the author and her views, I will take her position any time. I mean, when was the last time an author personally responded to a letter you wrote? It just doesn't happen anymore.

If you are struggling with your sexuality, your dating life, and your desires for marriage, by all means read "Passion & Purity". It helped me. It can help you, as well.

If you want to see a real example of a couple keeping themselves pure before God, this is an awesome book. Yes, she is a little dry but that is what is good about it. She isn't selling fluff that isn't what God is about. She tells a story of her courtship with Jim Elliot, an awesome man of God. I don't care what people say about "I kissed dating goodbye" being better they are wrong. God used this book to change my perspective on purity to be a Godly woman and to know how I conduct myself and not chase after relationships. To enjoy my role and to then encourage other women to stay pure until their wedding day and not pursue men. God used this woman tremendously in my life and the lives of the other ladies in a single women's study to understand what God wanted from us as women. I married a year ago and our first kiss, EVER, was when the pastor said you may now kiss your bride and I am so glad she was obedient to write this book. Buy extra copies you'll need them for your kids.

I enjoyed reading this book. In an odd way it reminded me of a Greek drama or something... narrative interrupted by moral statements every now and then. The story was interesting. Actually I never got to the end but I got to the wedding night scene which was close enough to a happy ending.

This book has some good advice, like for people separated from lovers or feeling alienated. I liked the ones about enduring through suffering without giving into it or trying to escape it. She would have agreed with Bruce Lee who once said, "Don't run away, let go." Parts like that - there are lots of them - are genuinely inspiring.

But take it with a grain of salt, because not everything she says is based on the Bible. The most glaring example is the strictly man initiates/female receives thing. This is not based on the Bible but on ancient myths of Mother Earth and Father sky (read the paragraph she quotes about them... I'll never think the same way about rain again XD) and also the assumption that... how do I put it politely... that male and female anatomy is reflective of everything else in life.

The one Bible passage she quotes on this is where Eve gives Adam the fruit. A woman initiated something and the whole universe goes to the toilet, right? Not that simple. In the book of Ruth, the title character PROPOSES to a man, who praises her for it, and God blesses their union. They were the ancestors of David, and Jesus Christ. And then in Esther, the title character defies the rules by approaching her husband the king without his prior permission, and in doing so saves her people the Israelites from genocide. Based on all this, in my opinion, if somebody has an idea or romantic proposal, what matters is if they are right or wrong. Not whether they are male or female. God put some assertive women on the planet and I don't think he meant for individuals to necessarily be placed in humanity's boxes.

Elliott is a Christian author and has some good ideas but Christians are human too, and not always right. Read a lot of books and keep an open mind, but be sure to check it up to the ultimate Truth.

I first read this book when I was about 18 years old. I remember thinking that it was a great book, and having a general feeling of being encouraged by it. Then I put it on the shelf and forgot about it.
6 years later, I have found myself going through some hard times. The guy that I dearly love has moved away, and life just seems bleak. To further complicate it, our relationship had moved from friends, to more serious, then to a time of no communication at all, back into friends. It's been very, very hard on me. I've spent countless nights crying myself to sleep, trying to figure out God's will in this, and praying that the guy would come back. Trying to balance loving the guy unselfishly, while wanting him so badly. It was confusing to say the least.
Recently I saw this book on my shelf. I picked it up, intending to read a chapter or two. I read for hours. It was like every word was written just for me. I realized how far off the mark I was in putting God first in my life. I had wandered far away from what I wanted to be. This book brought that sharply to light. I felt that God was hitting me with a 2x4 saying "wake up, you need to learn some hard lessons."
In the course of re-reading it, I've cried, given things to God, struggled to honestly try to put God first, just to name a few things. This book is about love relationships, yes, but to me is it also about putting God first in one's life, no matter how difficult that may be. It is teaching me to love God with my entire being. I feel that it has completely changed my life for the better. I still am struggling, still crying, but I'm drawing closer to God, and realizing that He will never leave me. His Grace is sufficient for me... Thank you Elisabeth Elliot for writing this book, it is a God-send.

After I finished reading this book (which took my about a week, I didn't want to rush through it), I took a look at the one star reviews here. Not to discredit anything that they all have said, but I don't believe that any of those people read the book to the end. One person says that she doesn't believe that Jim was not attracted to his "beloved Bett" and used her to fulfill his selfish needs. If you want a rough translation of a few chapters from the Song of Solomon, read the chapter entitled "Love Letters." You'll then realize why many pastors didn't give sermons from that book up until recently.

A few others have said that it doesn't apply to our lives today because it's outdated and "old fashioned." Well, last time I checked the Bible was old fashioned and outdated. Yet, those of us who call ourselves followers of Christ still live our lives by it. We live in a society that wants instant gratification. Neither Elizabeth or Jim stopped what they were doing. Their work in their missions fields never deviated until the doors were closed in Africa and they both were in South America. They waited for God's timing. If they just got it over with (like Paul suggests to the Corinthians) they may have never gone to South America. Their ministry would've been totally different!

This book has a lot to offer and I would recommend reading Jim's Journals along with it. I certainly recommend reading it carefully. It does encompass 5 years of their lives. It would not be a bad read for teenagers too. Of course, if you're the parent, read it first and make the decision when your child is ready for the book. It may not apply to where they are with their walk with God.

I myself found it difficult to read and found myself hating it at times. Probably because it was slightly convicting. Everyone should read this book whether you agree with the principles that are laid out in the book or not. That's what it is, an "old fashioned" principle to live by which is, again, still in the Bible. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." That is the underlying principle to the book. Even if they had not gotten married I'd bet anything they would still be willfully ministering in God's name. It would've been tough, but they would've done it.

Oh, and yes, Elizabeth is right. It is a turn off to have the girl do all the work in the relationship. :P

I am an African who first read Elizabeth Elliot's book "Passion and Purity" when I was a newly divorced mother of four. I was in my early thirties then and lived in Africa. Although I was raised as a Christian, I have never heard that it was possible to not date as I was influenced by western songs and western movies to think that dating was the norm. What I found, much to my surprise, when I started dating as a single mother, was that my body was different - perhaps because I had given birth. I could not control myself when I when I started being physical with a man. I had to go all the way, even though I was a Christian. My biological urge was greater than my sincere convictions about Christ. Then I read Elizabeth Elliot's book, and the light came on!!!!

I now live in the Northwest Territories in Canada, and I met Elizabeth Elliot's nephew who used to be a pastor here. He forwarded a letter from me to her, and she wrote a letter back to me. I am now 56, and still not married, but I so value her advice in her letter to me, which was that I seek first the Kingdom of God. That to me means that I do not have to look for Mr. Right. God will bring him to me in His time. I feel very peaceful therefore.

I have bought Passion and Purity for a couple of churches which I have attended in Canada. I have also given her book to some young women. I am currently in the process of writing to the various school boards in the Northwest Territories, telling them about this book, as the rate of venereal diseases is very high here. I want them to at least plant the seed in people's minds that one does not have to date. I have also listened to a tape from my church which said that dating is a North American idea. In Britain, so it said, people used to go out in groups. I do know one church in Edmonton where they encouraged going out in groups among the youth.

I am immensly grateful to Elizabeth for turning me into a pure woman. For me, it is strictly no dating and no touching until marriage.

"Bettie" really exposes her relationship with past husband Jim Elliot. She tells all, from the battles of passions to the trials of being separated from one she loved ...for years. I have no doubt that if you've been in or are in a relationship, that you'll relate and nod your head to at least one of her experiences. That's the beauty of the book. She doesn't just give you the three R's of How to Surrender Your Desires to God's Desires. She gives examples from her own life of how she succeeded, and failed, to die to self and say "Lord, Your will be done". There are letters from her to Jim and vice versa. In her chapters on sexual purity she admits that she and Jim made poor choices on being together sometimes and battled the "urge to merge". I had always pictured Jim Elliot as this conservative robot who would go where angels feared to tread. He was very courageous, yet he had his dark side too. He wrote a letter to Elizabeth confessing that his greatest thought was to go to bed with her. Nice to know the guy was human after all. Yet they stayed pure in the midst of passions and desires for intimacy that we all share. I felt as though Elizabeth and Jim were putting their arms around me and saying "we've been there too. It is possible to honor God in your relationships."

Some favorite quotes: "Life requires countless 'little' deaths. -occasions where we are given the chance to say no to self and yes to God."
"Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His Lordship. My heart would forever be a lonely hunter unless settled 'where true joys are to be found'."
"The kind of love that sustains a marriage is God given, but it is also a daily choice. For the rest of your life. Never forget that."

After reading Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion and Purity", I can very honestly say that it is one of the best books I've read (which is quite a few!) Both Elisabeth and Jim Elliot are amazing Christian examples because of the facts that they only wanted to live for God's glory and His plan, in His perfect timing, and also because they were not perfect. The reason that Elisabeth can communicate so clearly with her struggling audience is because she herself has struggled. The Elliots are Christian heroes because they are normal people who have struggled against God's plan for them, but who perservered (only through His strength, not their own) to do great things for Him. This book is very encouraging and helpful, and I would suggest it to anyone!

When I first started to read this book, I have to say that I was completely overwhelmed. Elisabeth Elliot is absolutely amazing in her dedication to being a Christian woman. At first, I saw her situation as being so far removed from my own life that I couldn't even relate to the advice. However, as I now am reading parts of the book for the second time, I realize that the story of love and sacrifice can be applied to all of us. Elisabeth Elliot's book can be used as a wonderful example of pursuing a Godly relationship, and has motivated me a lot for my future. The scripture passages throughout the book are also very helpful and applicable for me. I definately recommend any Christian read this book, it will motivate you and show you how pure a relationship can be.