on August 3, 2012
I met the author - Souldancer - at a book signing event in New York City. I gladly accepted a copy of his book; I had no idea it would take me more than 60 days to read it! Well, it was more than reading I was doing...you see, I actually worked through the more than 30 exercises he has created for us readers. I felt as though I had my very own coach throughout the entire process. I'm an advocate of finding and working with mentors. At any given time, for any given endeavor, I have one or two people who I'm calling about weekly to check in with and talk about "how things are going."
This book has been my mentor for the past two months. Souldancer recommends activities such as:
Exercise 11: Who Else?
As you build up your "team" of colleagues, mentors and friends, you have an opportunity to "curate" that group. When you think about your social network (not just your social MEDIA network, but the actual people you spend time with), consider the "kinds" of people you'd like to spend more time with. What is their experience, their perspective, and their day-to-day life like?
Now, as you future-cast in to the next 6-18 months, what are some of the qualities/attributes of the kinds of people you could learn from and with? What can you do to attract those people to your network? Over the past two months I've been using the websites: MeetUp.com/ , biznik.com/ , plancast.com/jasonwomack and amazon.com/ to find out where to "show up."
Exercise 17: Ask First, Act Second
Ready, Ready, Ready, Ready, Aim, Aim, Aim, Fire.
I know that in my own day-to-day life and work it's easy to reverse order on that; it's easy to "be busy." This section of the book too me DAYS to move through. In fact, one of the experiments I ran for two days was to set a timer BEFORE a work session for 5 minutes to "visualize" the end product of that work session. It was the first time I had done this, in this way. As a triathlete, I'm used to visualizing races. As a speaker, I visualize presentations. But, as a knowledge worker, this was something that was new to me. (It works, by the way.)
Throughout the bulk of the workbook - on the cover, the author reminds us that, indeed, this is "A Workbook To Help You: Say It, Mean It, Get It" - I read along to create my "Wealth Passport." This turned out to be a multi-page entry in one of my journals. There were lists, paragraphs and even drawings as I took the time to review my past, present and future of wealth creation and distribution. Perhaps most significant to me was that at the same time I was re-reading a favorite book by Napolean Hill called, "Think and Grow Rich." (And, perhaps that is why it took me "so long" to make it through Souldancer's book!)
A couple of pages from Pay Me What I'm Worth that stood out to me:
49: "To find your potential interviewees, journal your answers to the following questions: What do I love doing? When do I love doing it? How else could I do what I love doing? Who else did or does what I love (or would love) to do?
This was AWEsome. For years I've taught a "tactic" called [...] and the four questions that Souldancer gives have taken this to the next level. Sure, it's a lot of work, but boy is it worth it. Take time, take out a pen and a journal or notebook, pick a topic/goal/situation and GO! Answer those four questions and then decide what to do about those answers!
83: As you live a happy, healthy, honest life, you do make a difference. Your smile, hug, kind words, financial support, and social support (for example, introducing people to other people you know) all nourish other people's lives like eating a steamy bowl of soup on a chilly day. Never underestimate the power of comfort to inspire the power of life-changing hope.
Recently at a MeetUp in New York City hosted by Kate Gaffin (founder of Connecting to Greatness - a monthly networking even in the city) I had the opportunity to dive deep in to the topic of meaning and contribution. What Souldancer does here is simply genius. At just about the point where the book could take the "money turn," he changes directions. (I really had to reflect on what he did here.) All of a sudden, wealth and compensation became less about cash, and more about contribution; how totally cool!
97: Exercise 19: S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goals
(Most of you reading this have seen the first 5 letters of SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, Timely ... Souldancer adds two more: Enjoyable, Rewarding)
So, just for kicks, I looked up those two words, and here you are:
Enjoy: take delight or pleasure in
Reward: a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement
So, this week's challenge: See if there's something you could accomplish this week that would be enjoyable AND rewarding...
I can highly recommend this book if you're at a point in your life where you're looking for (a) your next thing, or (b) to bring your current thing to the next level.
on February 20, 2007
When I was first putting up the White Crane Journal website nearly a decade ago now, and discovering that creating links with other websites was the key to carving out a space for oneself on the worldwide web, I found a site called Gay Evolution. The goal of this website was an online community of lesbian and gay people committed to personal growth and the general principles of the human potential movement. Gay Evolution proved--not surprisingly, I suppose--a little ahead of its time. Online communities, like MySpace, hadn't really evolved yet. And Gay Evolution was idealistic, not just social. It came to function primarily as a referral site for career and personal coaches. It certainly assisted me as editor back then of White Crane in learning of gay professionals across the country. But then in the notorious shakeup of the dot coms and retrenching of the Internet, the Gay Evolution site got left behind.
I've stayed friends and occasional correspondent with Souldancer, one of the founders of Gay Evolution. He has evolved himself, staying on that cutting edge, now offering, as he says, "a unique blend of multicultural ancient wisdom with the best of global business practices." Souldancing: The Path of the Masters engages a set of ancient spiritual techniques to help clients improve their lives on many levels, including body, mind, spirit, social and economical.
He has now produced a workbook-like text presentation summarizing one of the central themes from his coaching practice. And he has titled it with one of the great complaints career coaches must deal with all the time: "Pay Me What I'm Worth." From a practical perspective--and that is what coaches specialize in, being practical and realistic--this is one of the most common sources of dissatisfaction with work people have: their job doesn't pay them what they're worth, which is to say, what they need to be happy and fulfilled as human beings.
The title might sound like simply instructions in asking for a raise. And it is that, but that is only a small part of the book. For to ask for a raise, Souldancer says, you need to believe you're worth more to your employer because you believe in your own worth. So while there's a little advice about how to properly and effectively word a request for a raise, that business practice offers the occasion for a much broader and richer quest for understanding what you really want (and need at the karmic/soul level) from the work you do. That is to say that the preparation for asking for a raise is really a quest to understand what your life is for.
The book offers a series of 33 exercises, all of them aimed at producing a so-called "Worth Passport." The techniques are all pretty simple--like making post-it notes identifying your positive traits or your personal possessions, skills, and talents, then sorting them in various ways. You need to be able to assess your "worth" if you're going to ask somebody else to pay you for it. And in the process, you discover there is so much more to you than just what you do in a job or what they pay you for. Producing your "Worth Passport" results in a major investigation of patterns in your whole life. And so the technique for determining occupational worth opens out into a practice for increasing self-esteem, confidence and sense of well-being.
Remember Souldancer says he is blending good business practice with multicultural ancient wisdom. So it's not surprising that the mercenary question about salary requirements turns into a spiritual inventory. As the exercises continue, they demonstrate that giving is the way to get and that integrity and ethical living is the best success and the way to get paid by life with happiness and fulfillment.
So the thing about asking for a raise is really a hook to pull you toward enightenment and wisdom.
If you really are wanting help to ask for a raise, this book could be very useful. There's good practical advice. BUT it is likely to transform you way beyond just getting a better salary.
For the purpose of writing a review, I read the book fast without actually doing the exercises. I'm sure I'd had benefited more fully if I had done them. But I want to attest that the book was interesting, occasionally eye-opening, and beneficial just read as a presentation on how people's self-image and self-worth manifests itself in the details of their real lives.
So just like my finding Gay Evolution in the early days of the Internet, I suppose, Souldancer's gimmick is to link all the various hungers we have for "more" in our lives into the great hunger for personal fulfillment and love. It's the links that count. This is a useful book on many levels!
on September 12, 2006
I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Souldancer late in 2005 and working with him one on one earlier this year. If you want someone who thinks outside the box, that's not Souldancer; just thinking outside the box is too small for this man, he gets rid of the box entirely to open you up to new possibilities in a practical, yet spiritually bent way.
I believe there isn't a soul alive who doesn't want to be paid what they are worth and then some. We are all intrinsically worth more than you can fathom. Even from a real world sense of money, we all have unique talents that are worth a lot. And, it is up to you to do the work to get paid what you're worth. No one is going to show up like a knight in shining armour and hand you money (unless you win the publisher's clearinghouse and Ed McMahon shows up but even then your core problems aren't the least bit solved). It takes more than just earning degrees, accolades, and letters after your name. We all know numerous well-decorated and supposedly well educated folks that can't find their way out of a paper bag and don't deserve some big salary they somehow commanded. It takes the inner work of learning about yourself, what you've already earned, how to truly give with ease, how to ask for what you want, and the all important learning to open yourself so you can receive what is offered to you.
(I also must throw in my $.02 that I just love the snappy cover design.)
on January 28, 2016
I am writing you this review to thank you for all the work
that you are doing to help me awaken to who I am.
The process that I am going through PMWIAW has awakened me
to admit who I am and come to the another doorway of expanding awareness.
PMWIAW is an essential part of my growing and expanding process .
The process helped me get in touch with many different facets of myself.
I am less stressed , I am happier I am more creative, I am more in touch with who I am. I have more balance in my life.
In this process I have gained tools and insight's to grow and expand my perspectives in life. Which in turn is creating a more fulfilling life for me and my family.
Their are no words that can express my gratitude for what you do.
Dr. Rik Rodriguez
on May 28, 2013
The book is a wonderful book.
There are exercises to do to make your realize how much you can really do.
So many employers want to take advantage of you. Its a really good way to list your worth.
It a excellent book to read right before a job interview. It builds self confidence.
It really makes you feel good about yourself. Ask for what you are worth. Do not take what some corporations wants to throw at you. It works for every aspect of your life. Relationships as well.
on July 14, 2016
This was the first real class I took. I discovered real education in this class. Don't get me wrong I've had some awesome teachers in the past but I never really experience REAL education until now. What do I mean by that?? I used to look at education as memorizing a bunch of facts and figures repeating it endlessly and getting some bs grade. IT wasn't until I got tired of that dumb cycle and started goofing of with computers and guitars did I actually learn what I wanted to do with my life BUT I still didn't know myself. There has never been a school, a religious teacher, or any authority figure that has really helped me advanced my consciousness and learn about myself go figure right. REAL education to me isn't just learning algebra its learning and exploring who is kareem maize, what is consciousness, and what is my GREAT work or magnum opus. Everything aside from that really does not matter in my view. Real education begins when self exploration of myself and the world around me starts!!! Pay me what I'm worth is real education when I did the work I noticed a great change from analyzing everything to enjoying and exploring the world around me!
on March 1, 2016
When I got my book, Pay Me What I'm Worth in the mail, I thought it would just be a book that I would be reading, not a workbook which I can use for life. At the time. I was at a time in my life where I wanted change!! In the very first chapter, I was in awe of the questions in the book and I realized how much work I needed to do as no one had ever asked me these questions before. I was amazed as I flipped through this book that no coach or mentor program ever asked me to dive in this deep! I was amazed and I was ready to dive in deep to explore myself. It's a workbook where each chapter is a workshop!! It has been one year now since I went through this book and I am not the same person!! With this book, Pay Me What I'm Worth, I continue to be my own witness of growth in my own journey. It is priceless to know my worth and honor the worth of others. I am an explorer for life and finally feeling awesome and balanced again, so much more aware of everything, which is oh so refreshing. This is a must have book that I will go through again and again for life.
on March 9, 2013
I met Soul through Linkedin and on our first conversation immediately agreed to be on the Powertalk radio show for this book. We had a 12 week show to review each chapter of the book and discuss how we were learning from it. Soul has created exercises that cause one to deeply reflect on our actions, thoughts and habits and then implement solutions in our lives. I was able to tell where I was holding myself back and identify what I needed to do to be more confident and more successful in all areas of my life.
The book shows how to give back to those around you and help them achieve all they can be, which in turn causes further growth for self. Getting all we deserve out of our efforts is due everyone. This book is a blueprint for achieving your dreams and helping others achieve their own.
Spend the time to do the exercises, reflect on the topics, and share what you have learned. You will be grateful for bringing this book into your life.
on July 29, 2014
If you're like me, and I believe most people, you feel like you're getting paid less than you're worth.
In Pay Me What I'm Worth, Soul Dancer teaches you how to recognize your worth and get rewarded for it.
The first part of the book prepares you to receive value. We often receive less than we want because we undermine our sense of worth. You'll learn how to honour your true worth.
The second part teaches you how to give. One of the laws of the universe is the law of fair exchange. If you want to earn more, you need to offer more value. Paying someone less than they're worth, or getting paid less than you're worth, violates this principle.
After you've learnt about balancing giving and receiving, you have a way out of scarcity and poverty. Instead of thinking there's not enough, you see there's always enough (very different to the imbalanced idea of more than enough). If you're going through a time of lack, you can always give something of value to receive a reward of equal amount.
Pay Me What I'm Worth aims to change your life. It's not to be read, shelved and gather dust.
It's a different approach to increasing worth and wealth than the most similar books I can think of (The One Minute Millionaire and Cracking the Millionaire Code by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G Allen).
You can read those books and fill your head with satisfying information. In the end, your life remains the same. The "information" in Soul's book is minimal. You learn through doing.
(In honesty, I've read it twice now. I'm yet to complete the exercises. Starting next week, I'll work through a chapter every two weeks, DOING the exercises.)
Soul encourages you to form a study group and work through the book with them. Do that and at least one person will spot that this book wants you to take action.
Even though I haven't worked through the exercises, since my first read through I've made changes. I've learnt that certain habits increase my confidence and sense of worth, even if they're unrelated to self-esteem or finances.
I'm certain that if you complete the exercises in this book, you'll know what you're worth and how to get paid for it. I believe you're worth it.
DISCLOSURE: Soul Dancer has become a friend and we also have a professional relationship.
on February 28, 2016
I just completed one of the best years of my life on a journey with a group of ladies. Pay Me What I Am Worth is a process of personal growth that is unparalleled. What I have learned during this journey is how to better deal with my past traumas by seeing them for what they are and letting them go. It also helped me find a peaceful place while grieving the death of my mom. I would recommend this book and journey to anyone who has ever been a victim, had self doubt, or confused about what your purpose is in this life. Don't let the title fool you......this is about self worth. Soul Dancer is a guru for this journey.