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Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting [Kindle Edition]

Laura Markham
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (192 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.00
Kindle Price: $9.89
You Save: $5.11 (34%)
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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Book Description

A groundbreaking guide to raising responsible, capable, happy kids

Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.

This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.

If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.

Editorial Reviews


"In this compassionate yet practical text, Markham deftly leads parents down a gentler, kinder path to raising emotionally intelligent and happier children." ---Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Dr. Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist specializing in child development and parenting. The founder of, she supports parents every day in her private coaching practice and daily email inspirations.

Xe Sands has more than a decade of experience bringing stories to life through narration and performance. Sands's characterizations are rich and expressive and her narrations evocative and intimate. She has also won multiple AudioFile Earphones Awards, including for her narration of The Sweet Relief of Missing Children by Sarah Braunstein.

Product Details

  • File Size: 592 KB
  • Print Length: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Perigee (November 27, 2012)
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,052 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
164 of 169 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THE Parenting Book EVERY Parent Should Read and Re-Read December 4, 2012
I am a gentle parent. I am a conscious parent. I put a lot of work into keeping calm when dealing with those tough parenting moments. I try to always hold the space for my daughter to simply "be" who she is in the every moment. But...

My default button is impatience and a penchant for raising my voice. *Sigh*

It takes a lot of work to keep myself in check as a peaceful, supportive parent. When I do veer of course, my daughter is sure to remind me of the error of my ways. For days on end. Days. On. End. Impatience and raising my voice does NOTHING to strengthen my relationship with my daughter.

I read and research. A lot. I have read all of the gentle parenting resources out there. I have taken a little of this and a little of that and tried to bring it together into a parenting style that works both for me and for my daughter. Yet, I still have not perfected the art of patient parenting.

I have been waiting anxiously for Dr. Laura Markham of Aha Parenting to write and release a book on peaceful parenting. I love her blog. I find myself nodding vigorously to every post she writes. Her words always give me pause. I digest them. I put them into action. And yet, I knew that she was holding back and had so much more to offer!

Enter Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.

This is THE book that was missing from my repertoire of gentle parenting resources. This is THE book that I read two times in a row while barely coming up for air. The is THE book that has actually showed me, in a palatable manner, how to be the patient, non-voice-raising mama I knew I could be.
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114 of 119 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Your kids will notice the change right away! December 20, 2012
By Shannon
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
A childhood friend posted information on "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" on her Facebook page, and I finished reading it a couple of days ago. What I have learned from this book has already improved my relationship with my eight year old son. My son thanked me this morning for reading this book. He said I am turning into the mom he always wanted. "Even if it means you don't always get your way?" I asked. He replied, "It's easy to learn from my mistakes when you aren't yelling at me about them." I almost burst into tears. This book is amazing, and by reading it I showed him that it is never to late to change your ways.
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147 of 162 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good but not for everyone June 24, 2013
By Lisa
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I wanted to love this book but it's not for us. I think it might resonate really well with people into "attachment parenting" and think that should be mentioned in the description. It might fall short with some very strong willed children though, like mine. At least, that's what I found when I tried a few suggestions.

The positives of this book is that it does a good job of highlighting the need for the parent to calm down. There are good tips. It made an important point that other parenting books do not, such as, it's alright to take a moment (or 10!) to calm down before addressing the problem. Many other parenting books say you need to address the problem immediately so the child knows exactly why consequences are happening. It gives some good tips about knowing how your child reacts to certain situations and have the foresight to diffuse them before the problem occurs. It promotes empathy, which can only help your relationship. I found I already do a lot of empathizing with my child.

Where I have the problem is the constant "making light" of problems or trying to turn them into a game in order redirect the behavior. This might work with some kids but not mine. In one example, a child wants the parent to move from a particular spot on the couch and the parent is supposed to make fun and games with the child... but not move from the spot. That only works with my daughter to a point. She would not become distracted, she would play for a while but then become serious and reassert her laser beam focus. Another example is about spitting, instead of consequences for spitting in the house the solution was to take the child outside to make a game of spitting out there. Like, "Oh, haha, look I can spit further than you!
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102 of 112 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book saved me after my 2nd child was born January 21, 2013
As of the writing of this review, I have two children: a 3 year-old son and 4 month old daughter. I had the good fortune to "discover" Attachment Parenting before my son was born and have enjoyed raising him with physical and emotional closeness. But around the time that my second child was born, things got really hard. Developmentally, my son was hitting some challenging stuff, plus the stress of a new sibling, a mom recovering from a hard birth, and other stresses in our life that landed at the same time. He was having huge meltdowns several times a day that were really hard for me. Somehow I got the idea that the intensity of his emotions was abnormal or harmful. It seemed silly that he would wail about the most seemingly minor things. Consequently, my "instinct" was to try to "contain" his negative emotions or distract him somehow (or just STOP THE WAILING!). But, no surprise, it didn't work, and the more I tried ignoring or negating his tantrums, the worse they got (and the more disconnected we felt).

At this time, I checked out "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" from the library and started reading it. About halfway through the book, I got really angry and almost came on here to write a somewhat negative review before even finishing it. I was thinking, "hey -- I parent this way, and my kid is a mess. This doesn't work!" Fortunately, instead I kept reading and eventually came the realization that I was *NOT* empathizing with my son in his moments of hard emotions. Instead I would negate somehow (by ignoring or explicitly telling him to "stop crying") and/or give in to his stated desire (thus not maintaining important limits).
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
All parents and grandparents should read this book! We are the models and teachers of our children !
Published 2 days ago by SAS
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
This is a must read for any parent!
Published 4 days ago by Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars Arrived 3 days late!
I paid extra and ordered the book to receive it on Saturday before 8pm, but received it only on Tuesday. Read more
Published 4 days ago by Asta
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed everything!
This book has changed my life (seriously!) and my relationship with my child. Thank you Dr. Markham! Read more
Published 8 days ago by VespaGirlAnn
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Published 9 days ago by Mom2
5.0 out of 5 stars We knew it was better to be calm
This book helped changed the way we parent our kids. We knew it was better to be calm, the problem was how to find the calm in the storm of 4 young children. Dr. Read more
Published 9 days ago by Christopher Filkins
5.0 out of 5 stars changed my life
it had changed my relationship with my 3 years old daughter. i wish I could thank the author.
Published 24 days ago by G. Casahuga
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Overall good but I never finished listening to it LOL
Published 24 days ago by Queen B
5.0 out of 5 stars like me, have found that time outs and verbal ...
I wish this book came with my children when I brought them home from the hospital. If you see your role as a parent primarily as a disciplinarian and are looking for ways to use... Read more
Published 26 days ago by M. Black
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully helpful parenting guide with similar advice to her website...
Wonderfully helpful parenting guide with similar advice to her website 'a ha parenting' . Recommend it for attachment parent types who aren't wanting their kids to still be... Read more
Published 28 days ago by DOROTHY E GAUNT
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More About the Author

Laura Markham is a psychologist turned parenting coach and author who advocates a relationship-based model of parenting. Markham's book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting promotes the idea of peaceful parenting, where the parent manages his or her own emotions, both to deal mindfully with a distressed child and to teach the child successful emotional regulation by modeling. She takes the controversial position that parents need to move "beyond discipline" because punishment erodes the parent child bond, instead focusing on "connection," setting limits with empathy, and "coaching for emotional intelligence" -- all of which helps children WANT to cooperate.

The founding editor of the extensive website, Dr. Laura sends a free coaching email three times weekly to over 60,000 parents. She makes frequent TV and radio appearances, serves as a parenting expert for, and has written hundreds of articles published on dozens of websites. Dr. Laura lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two teenagers.


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