The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Paperback)

by Ken Sande (Author)
Key Phrases: this really worth fighting, peacemaking responses, loving correction, Glorify God, Speak the Truth, Jesus Christ (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"Of the enormous body of literature dealing with conflict resolution and its allied problems, this treatment is the most concrete and helpful I have yet to find."

Product Description
Conflict-resolution expert Ken Sande shows you how to help permenantly resolve disputes in your church. He takes you and your church members beyond quick fixes to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, coworkers, and fellow believers.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Baker Books; 3 edition (January 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0801064856
• ISBN-13: 978-0801064852
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,884 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great tool for reconciliation, November 4, 2004

By	Raymond Cannata "Rev. R. Cannata" (New Orleans, LA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The Peacemaker is the most helpful guide I have found to assist Christians in resolving conflict. It takes an uncommonly Biblical approach, leading one through a process designed to foster reconciliation, to God's glory. One is instructed in ways to "get the log out of your eye"; to "go and show your brother his faults," and to "go and be reconciled." These principles are applied to a variety of situations: third-party conciliation, forgiveness, confession, church discipline, self-examination, conflict assessment, and more.

Sande continually reminds his readers that conflict is a great opportunity to see the Gospel lived out in radical ways. By this God is glorified in ways the world cannot explain. This must be the focus of all peacemaking: "whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (I Cor. 10:31).

While Sande provides an abundance of practical techniques for implementing his understanding of Biblical principle of peacemaking, these by themselves cannot accomplish what is needed. The methods only provide opportunities for reconciliation, but true reconciliation is always a heart issue. In the end, all of Sande's steps and procedures must happen through faith alone in Christ alone. Apart from him we can do nothing (John 15:5). And simply going through the motions, however precisely, cannot serve as a substitute for the work of the Holy Spirit, who alone can apply Christ's work of reconciliation to us. Conflict may cease on the surface, and hostilities can be contained or sublimated, but true reconciliation cannot happen apart from the Holy Spirit giving the parties a growing experience of what Christ has done to reconcile us to the Father (2 Cor. 5:18-20).

Since teaching the Peacemaker c.e. series in 2000, I have seen these concepts at work in the life of our church family. I stock extra copies of the "Peacemaker Pledge" pamphlet on our fellowship table on Sundays and in my office. I have been amazed at how this tool can often humble people and redirect the focus of their concerns from their own agenda to God's glory.

But I have also seen the Peacemaker materials misused. People can go through the steps of Sande's book explicitly and methodically, but the focus can be misdirected from God's glory to the person's own hurt. If one starts from a self-righteous place it can poison all the steps of Sande's book.

This is a reminder that we cannot engineer what we desire, but are completely dependant on the Lord's grace for true reconciliation. The only One capable of real peacemaking is "the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep" (Heb. 13:20).

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best I Have Read on Interpersonal Conflict Management, April 14, 2003

By	David R. Bess (Charleston, WV) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict (Paperback)

This book is absolutely the best book I have read on interpersonal conflict management. Sande presents Scripture after Scripture to support his directives to diffuse disharmony among brothers and sisters in Christ. Having served as a pastor for twenty years and having seen my share of church spats, this book would have been extremely helpful years ago.

I highly recommend this volume to all pastors, congregational leaders, and other believers who are seeking a biblical response to conflict in the church. The author also has a website that offers various key concepts of this book in brochure form. The church today could use more works like this one.

31 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good practical advice, caution with the religious discussions., May 24, 2006

By	Dokimoi Ergatai - See all my reviews

Ken Sande is an engineer, attorney and conciliator. This book provides practical advice for reconciliation between parties who are in conflict. Most of the advice consists of basic communication skills such as listen to the other person, agree in areas that you can, try to understand from the other person's perspective, etc.

He also follows the Biblical steps for resolution of conflict such as overlook minor conflict, go to the other person directly, get one or two others to go along and finally tell it to the church. His points on overlooking conflict are very good and this is not something that is taught frequently, if at all, in many churches today. The methodology for mediation and arbitration can be helpful and Sande especially touches on ethical responsibilities to avoid exposure to liability.

Born-again Christians will probably have some difficulty with the theology in the book. Sande is a lawyer, not a theologian. His definition of Christianity seems very broad. He quotes Justice Anthony Scalia, a member of the Roman Catholic church, as an authoritative figure on the role of Christianity and conflict/litigation. At times, it seems Sande views anyone associated with a church as a Christian. Perhaps he is intentionally broad in order to make the book accessible to as many people as possible. He does not seem to believe that conversion brings about a change in a person in that "If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." There is no discussion of the influence and power of the Holy Spirit to make Christian fruit including peaceableness which is not something we try to do in our own strength.

In addition, Sande does not seem to see a change from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Thus, when dealing with many issues such as litigation, he relies heavily on O.T. scriptures. He ends up with the view that Christians can and should sue one another in certain circumstances and thus sees some scriptural commands as more of a suggestion than a command. He does state that the church should be involved in a conflict between Christians before litigation occurs and that appropriate discipline may be necessary but does not specifically address excommunication from the church. He also does not address the scriptural requirement that if someone acts in an evil way, we are not to resist him or her but are required to go further and bless him or her.

All in all, the practical advice is very good. I think you just have to sort through the religious discussions carefully and, of course, test everything against scripture.