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Peacemaking for Families (Focus on the Family) Paperback – August 26, 2002

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Product Details

  • Series: Focus on the Family
  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Focus on the Family (August 26, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1589970063
  • ISBN-13: 978-1589970069
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #158,208 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360. Trained as an engineer, lawyer, and mediator, Ken has conciliated hundreds of family, business, church, and legal conflicts. As president of RW360, he now focuses on teaching people how to build strong relationships in the family, church, and workplace. He teaches internationally and is the author of numerous books, articles, and training resources, including The Peacemaker, which has been translated into seventeen languages. He is a Certified Christian Conciliator, an Editorial Advisor for Christianity Today, a Certified Relational Wisdom Instructor, and an Emotional Intelligence Certified Instructor. He and his wife, Corlette, have two adult children and a grandson, and love to hike and ski in the mountains near their home in Billings, Montana.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 57 people found the following review helpful By Word for Word on May 19, 2004
Format: Paperback
The goal of this book is to awaken the reader's perspective of conflict as an opportunity to glorify God by seeking understanding and forgiveness. Ken Sande provides excellent life stories to illustrate the real struggles we face in relationships. He then seeks the Biblical answer to resolving the breakdown in those relationships. Each part ends with an "As You Grow" section that helps to bring the study into your own life.
Part 1 reviews the common responses to conflict using the slippery slope of Peacmakers. He then shows that conflict can arise out of idols that we have established in our lives including an excellent examen of conscience that reveals that sin of idolatry. He then reviews the basic goals and pattern for resolving conflict.
Part 2 explores the four vital aspects of a peacemaking marriage. Confession removes our old hackneyed and easy ways we confess "I'm sorry" and replaces it with a thorough and God pleasing confession. Confrontation walks through the most avoided but needed part of relationships. The section on listening is excellent. Wise words shows how cautious we need to be as healers. Forgiveness is the heart of this book for me. It points out that forgiving is not a feeling it is a choice and requires us to make for promises - not to dwell on it, not to use it against them, not to talk with others, not to allow it to be a barrier. The Young Peacemakers says it - Good thought, hurt you not, gossip never, friends forever. In fact in forgiveness we replace those negative and forgiven hurts with positive ones. Negotiation occurs when substantive issues needs to be worked out in a setting that is safe and seeks compromise and satisfaction between spouses.
Part 3 begins to apply the principles laid out in the book.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Tyler Holloway on January 25, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When sinners come into contact with each other, it is only a matter of time before conflict arises. Nowhere is this more apparent than within family life. Two sinners come together under one roof as husband and wife, and soon additional sinners enter the picture in the form of children. Before long, the home is crowded with sinners constantly interacting with each other, which inevitably creates conflict. If a family is to continue to love one another, they must be able to successfully manage these conflicts as they arise. To this end, Ken Sande's book Peacemaking for Families: A Biblical Gide to Managing Conflict in Your Home was written to provide families with tools specifically geared toward managing conflicts within the home.

There were several aspects of Sande's book that were very helpful. The greatest strength of his work was that Sande's grounded all of his practical advice for managing conflict firmly in the gospel. While there is no shortage of Christian books on the topic of conflict management, many of these works build their arguments using proof-texts about peacemaking rather than grounding their arguments within the metanarrative of Scripture. Their arguments tend to follow the following pattern: Christians should obey the Bible, and the Bible says to be a peacemaker, therefore Christians should be peacemakers. These books turn to verses such as Matt. 5:9 or Rom 12:18 to convince or encourage Christians to behave in this manner. Although there is no doubt that Christians should obey these passages, this line of reasoning runs the danger of ultimately making a believer's obedience man-centered rather than God-centered.
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36 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Paul D. Hamline on May 7, 2007
Format: Paperback
I was very disappointed in this book. The first half of the book was almost a verbatim reproduction of The Peacemaker. The second half of the book is a repeat of the initial repeat in the first half of the book but directed at dealing with children. There is no new information simply a change in wording that says the samething Ken Sande said in the Peacemaker and also in the first half of this book. The only hope for this book were the last two chapters that dealt with when your marriage gets in trouble and steps to protect your marriage. Both chapters were very vague and not very helpful. The author did say it was not his purpose to deal with marriage. However, my question is if that was not his intention why did he include a whole chapter on it? My recommendation is buy The Peacemaker and you do not need to waste your money on this book. It promises much and delivers very little.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By happy wife on October 5, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I teach a Marriage and the Family class at a Bible college and I am planning on making this book required reading next year. I have already begun to implement the principles in my own marriage and it is truly transformational. My husband's biggest complaint is that I don't "listen" and I could never pinpoint what it was that gave him that impression. This book definitely clarified how to listen, and how to make a wise appeal (without coming across as challenging and opinionated). The stories he uses to illustrate really help make the principles concrete. Nobody ever gets formal instruction in regards to communication, confrontation, listening, and conflict resolution so people are just left to follow the "monkey see-monkey do" approach...hence the major dysfunction apparent everywhere. If everyone read this book and applied it, we'd have a totally different world. Best of all Christians could actually claim the promise of God's blessings upon themselves as peacemakers - for they shall be called the children of God (Matthew 5:9).
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