Peacemaking Women: Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict [Paperback]

Tara Klena Barthel (Author), Judy Dabler (Author), Ken Sande (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 2005

Women have a strong desire for relational connections. Relationships between women can be especially enriching, but when conflict arises, they also can be especially damaging. Too many women approach conflict as if they were unbelievers-with gossip, spiteful actions, bitterness, and even hatred.

In Peacemaking Women, Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler offer a meaningful, lasting message to lead women out of conflict to a state of peace where they can live as representatives of Christ to one another and well as unbelievers. With advice that is firmly rooted in Scripture, the authors bring sound, practical help for women who want to know what the Bible says about conflict resolution and how to achieve peace in their relationships with God, self, and others.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As professional Christian conciliators, Barthel and Dabler have seen individuals struggle with addiction, friendship and sexual sin; they've seen churches on the verge of schism, looming lawsuits and businesses gone awry. Now they apply principles of reconciliation and peace specifically to women because "many Christian women today are not at peace." They urge women to become "true peacemakers through repentance, faith, and rightful worship of God alone." Readers will find information on resolving conflicts with God first, then others, then themselves. The authors address the areas of marriage, family and the church, as well as conflicts arising from idolatry, suffering, shame, depression and fear. They use the Bible as the authority on resolving conflict, offering broad biblical concepts in place of how-to lists and step-by-step instruction. Each chapter includes questions for reflection and a resource list, and real-life examples appear throughout, including the authors' own conflicts in writing the book. It is, however, a long-winded, back-door approach to the subject that seems to struggle with what it really is: a book about conflict resolution or a book about taking that resolution one step further to become proactive, peace-making women. There is plenty of good information about conflict, and a sound biblical foundation, but not enough specifics on how women can live in peace day by day.
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Review

"If I could put one book in the hands of every Christian woman, with the Bible, it would be this." -- Dr. Laura Mae Gardner, Past Vice-President, Wycliffe International

"Peacemaking Women isn’t just another book on communication or conflict resolution. I strongly recommend it!" -- Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author and Speaker

"This book tells the truth. The authors offer hope rooted in God's Word to transform conflict into grace." -- Charles W. Colson, Prison Fellowship

"This compelling book by two wise Christian mediators is a tour de force in offering a pathway for rebuilding relationships." -- Dan B. Allender, President, Mars Hill Graduate School Author, The Wounded Heart and To Be Told

"This powerfully honest book applies the truths of the Gospel to past wounds and present brokenness." -- Bryan Chapell, Covenant Seminary

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Baker Books (July 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0801064953
• ISBN-13: 978-0801064951
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #230,973 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Tara Klena Barthel formerly served as the Director of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries. As such, she oversaw the delivery of all conciliation services and advanced conciliator training.

Currently, she serves her family as a homemaker while regularly mediating, speaking, and writing on biblical peacemaking. Baker Book House Co. published her first book in 2005: Peacemaking Women--Biblical Hope for Resolving Conflict and her first video series was released by Peacemaker Ministries in 2007: The Peacemaking Church Women's Study--Living the Gospel in Relationships. Tara's most recent book was released by Baker in May, 2012: Redeeming Church Conflicts--Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care.

Prior to joining the staff of Peacemaker Ministries, Tara worked as an attorney and business consultant in Chicago. Tara, Fred, and their young daughters are members of Rocky Mountain Community Church (PCA). To learn more about Tara's speaking and conciliating services, visit www.tarabarthel.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Become a Peace Making Woman July 6, 2005

By Lilly Lionswell

Format:Paperback

The moment I started reading this book, I got excited. For the first time, I found two women who struggled through some of the same seemingly hopeless situations with conflict resolution to find a deeper intimacy at the end of them. What surprised me is that most of the conflict that I was experiencing came from not realizing that I did not have to do "good works" to be accepted by Christ Jesus. They set me straight on His unfailing love - it was not going to go away when I had a bad day.

Another surprise awaited me as I read deeper into the book - many of my conflicts came because I was worshipping other things and not God. The authors call this an "idolatrous heart". Oh, now that sounded scary to this Christian God-fearing women! Not me? Frown. Oh, yes, me! I found that there are times when I worship my image of God, but not God Himself. When my expectations of God did not measure up I started getting angry and depressed - conflict. Throught reading this book, I learned how to recognize the things that had become idols in my heart and find true peace by turning back to worshipping the Lord. I can't say that it's been easy along the way. I stumble and fall. And still do! I even find that since I've been reading this book that conflicts seem to be on the increase. The good news is is that my perspective towards conflict has changed. I see it as a "revealer" of what is truly in my heart and a time to set my heart to finding His peace in each situation that arises. They have included at the end of each chapter some questions and additional Scriptures to flesh out. If you are like me - stumbling along in your relationships with others - than you might want to take the time to read this book. You will want to give it to all the women you know because it is as Ken Sande says in the intro- "Lifechanging." I also suggest that if you don't like to read, order their tapes and listen to them while you're driving in your car or doing dishes. Tara has a great sense of humor and is full of care for women! Which ever way you choose- you'll be on your way to establishing peace wherever you go.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hope for Resolving Conflict February 17, 2007

By Martha G. Brady

Format:Paperback

This is a great book both for personal reading and growth and for a group study. It is very Biblical with most of the scripture written out (meaning that I actually get all of it read!) The questions at the end of each chapter are not superficial but force you to look into your own heart rather than just lightly answer a question.

There are many strengths to this book. It has two authors from different perspectives--a lawyer and a counselor. I'm sure it didn't make for an easy time in writing the book, but the outcome is probably much better than if either one individually had written it. Their open, vulnerable sharing throughout the book brings an honesty not often found in christian books. I found it quite refreshing. One of my serendipitous chapters was "Female Leaders with Powerful Personalities". I enjoyed reading that both from the perspective of someone with a strong personality AND from the perspective of a pastor's wife who has served in a variety of settings and seen more than one female leader who caused a lot of disruption in the church. I wish I had seen some of that information and perspective in writing long before now.

The heart of the book is dealing with God and who He is, our idolatrous hearts and biblical peacemaking (with one another). How it works out in suffering, romantic love, families, the Church,and dealing with personal shame, depression or fear. The book moves along pretty well without getting bogged down despite the heavy topics. The many personal illustrations, clear explanations, and different than usual ways of explaining some of the topics kept my attention well.

The final ingredient in the book that I found very helpful was the bibliography at the end of each chapter. I often find in books on a variety of topics that I would like to read a little more in certain areas but don't have any idea where to go. This was particularly helpful and I came across some unexpected authors.

You won't regret reading this book and will be glad you bought it because the concepts found in it are counter-intuitive. They won't come easily and you will need to refer back for help as you start to put them into practice.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The tools and biblical rationale for resolving conflict August 24, 2005

By FaithfulReader.com

Format:Paperback

Conflict is an inevitable fact of life, and while a small segment of people thrive on perpetuating it, others seek to avoid it at all costs. Neither extreme provides healthy, lasting relationships. The answer lies in resolving conflicts. Without the proper tools, however, this could lead to one side simply "giving in" only to harbor a resentment, keeping handy to use when the next conflict arises. PEACE MAKING WOMEN does an excellent and thorough job of providing not only the necessary tools but the Biblical rationale behind them as well.

God's senses of humor and irony are demonstrated as the authors confess the conflicts they faced while writing this book. Many will recognize this phenomenon that seems to happen whenever we start to teach on a certain topic. It seems that God allows us to experience the problem firsthand, which definitely lends authenticity to our work. Perhaps it is His gentle way of reminding us that He, not we, has all the answers.

In this case, the authors were able to demonstrate that the tools they were advocating really do work; that God's principles and truths are practical, useful and indispensable. Despite unrelenting pain and circumstances that threatened to scuttle the book and their friendship, God remained true. And, out of the ashes of their dead relationship, He brought new life. He created not only a better, stronger friendship but enhanced the lives of two individuals by filling them with love and grace based on the foundation of His love.

Tara Barthel and Judy Dabler describe how this incredible process begins with a peaceful relationship with God Himself. For many that will be a quantum leap that has never been taken. How does one presume to have a personal relationship with the awesome, omniscient Creator God? As in any relationship, you get to know Him. He reveals His character through His words, the words that are written down for all to study in the Bible. And, despite the seemingly complex nature of the Bible, it is simply captured in the greatest commandment of all: Love one another, even as I have loved you. Is there a more profound mantra anywhere?

PEACE MAKING WOMEN is not a little self-help book to be perused for quick fixes. Rather it is a key that allows you to enter a place where you can gather the tools you need to live a richer, more peaceful and fulfilled life. Just as peace is not merely the absence of war, a peace-filled life is not merely one with the absence of conflict. It is one filled with love, kindness, trust and compassion. What a wonderful Bible study it would make, complete with thought-provoking questions at the end of each segment.

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