Peacetalk 101 is the story of an ordinary man with a hard row to hoe, who is so disgusted with the state of the world, so depressed at what he sees as a universal absence of hope for humankind, that he sees no way out except the most desperate of measures. But then things that are not at all ordinary start happening to him, as a stranger--a stranger who seems to be nothing more than a homeless man lazily riding the bus all day--shows him, one small mysterious step at a time, that he has another choice. This brief novel in the form of an extended parable, leads the reader on an amazing journey from despair to joy.
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This book is a must read for most people. It also makes a great gift book. --Mediation On-Line, A Newsletter from ADR
From the Author
This book is about desperation, and about replacing desperation with hope. Strange as it may seem, it isn't usually great catastrophes that drive people to desperation. Most people, faced with a personal disaster, seem to rise to the occasion; they're able to find a kind of inner strength that makes it possible for them to deal with a tragic event. What wears people down and makes them desperate is the constant drip-drip-drip of a thousand little daily hassles happening over and over and over again with seemingly no hope that they will ever stop. Peacetalk 101 is about an ordinary person who has reached that point and is feeling that kind of desperation, and I wanted to show that the majority of his problems were not problems caused by entities "out there" in the world, like the government or the stock market or the company he works for or other people's meanness; instead, they were problems of language. Henry has stopped having any kind of meaningful human communication. He has come to believe that no matter how a conversation starts, no matter what it's about, it will always end in harsh and hostile language. He feels so battered by that sort of language that he would rather have no communication at all than risk any more of the words and body language that are so infuriating and hurtful. He feels that he's in a trap and that he has no choices except desperate choices -- but he's wrong. Joe's role in the book is to explain that to him, to show him that the trap is an illusion, and to show him how to use language -- something about which every human being is an expert -- to find his way back to a life that is worth living.
Many years ago I wrote a self-help book called The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense that has sold well over one million copies and still sells briskly. I know it's a useful book because I get letters about it every week saying "Because I read your book, I didn't hit my kid" (or "didn't quit my job" or "didn't get a divorce" or "didn't kill myself"). I wrote Peacetalk 101 so that there would also be a book offering some of the basic information about verbal self-defense in the form of a story.
Peacetalk 101 is ideal for a reading group. The chapters are short enough to make it possible for even the busiest person to read one of them before each group meeting -- they're short enough that a group could easily read one aloud at each meeting instead of reading them in advance.And I would always welcome your questions or comments about the book; there's a direct e-mail link to me at the homepage.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Learning HOW to TALK peace can change your life.,
By Sandra Gordon (Mountain View, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Peacetalk 101 (Paperback)
Author Suzette Haden Elgin's two-fold theme in this book is that talk PRECEDES violence, and peace is an ACTION in addition to being a state of mind. Having a Ph.D. in Linguistics, Elgin knows language and peace talk well.Using a story as a vehicle for her Rules of Peace Talk, Elgin tells us clearly how SPECIFICALLY to transform peace from a foggy state of mind or a passive yearning into an active way of being. Her other books such as "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" and "How to Turn the Other Cheek and Still Survive in Today's World," (also available here from Amazon) lay the more scholarly foundation for her ideas. "Peacetalk 101" is unique in that it gives the rules of Peacetalk clearly and quickly within a story line that shares the inner thoughts of the main character who finds himself in an emotional, downward spiral. Elgin is skilled at dialogue and narrative. This is a good read. It is short, thought-provoking, and life-changing for anyone who begins to put the Peacetalk Rules into practice. Sometimes it is easier to support peace movements in general than it is to bring peace to our own homes and neighborhoods. Yet without peace close to us, within us, we make errors in trying to force peace world-wide. We have not been taught the skills that can make peace a part of our everyday environment. Elgin teaches us these skills in her book "Peacetalk 101," and she teaches very well. It is easier to believe peace on earth is possible after reading this book. This is a book of hope and personal transformation.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Parable About How Language Creates Our Reality.,
By David Brady (Pahrump, NV United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Peacetalk 101 (Paperback)
I have successfully used Peacetalk 101 with over 400 people who have been sent to my domestic violence classes. It is a modern day parable about a man who has alienated himself by engaging in verbal abuse. As a culture we have a tendency to think if we are not aware of something it cannot hurt us or that we are not responsible for what happens because of our ignorance of how things work. It is a simple read yet "deep" in terms of the principles taught.As the story begins the main character has lost all sense of connection with himself, his partner and his child. It is unsettling that the main character is just an average guy, stressed but coping, attempting to make sense of his life. The story is about his preoccupations and assumptions leading to his alienation. Consequently we know very little about his wife, his child or the family's dog other than from his own ever narrowing point of view. Elgin skillfully helps the reader make sense of how he came to the horrorific conclusion that the solution to his alienation is to kill his wife and his child and then himself. Even the setting of the date seems "logical" in the context provided by Elgin. As the story progresses he gains linquistic insights as a result of "chance" meetings with a person who looks like a homeless person but is a sage. The tension mounts as the day for the solution draws closer. Each "coincidental" contact with homeless person results in the main character (and the reader) learning another part of Elgin's system of verbal self-defense and his becoming more conscious of the effect his language choices was having on his perception of life. There is an interesting tension as one wonders if he is going to change enough to change his original plan. The ending? I will not give it away. Summary of the Parable: We literally hurt ourselves and those around us with our verbal abuse. Conscious action creates greater consciousness. We can consciously engage in the skills outlined in Peacetalk 101. Elgin's parable instructs us step by step how to consciously choose and make healthy language choices that connect, inform, heal and uplift while not feeding into destructive verbal abuse cycles. She has skillfully introduced a complete set of verbal self-defense tools in the parable to be consciously used by the reader to create a verbal violence free environment. Recommendation: It would be useful for the reader to obtain a copy of Elgin's The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense to accompany the reading of Peacetalk 101. It would give the reader a deeper appreciation of what Elgin has accomplished in her parable. Elgin is the only author who has provided linguistic principles to stop verbal abuse.I have used her system since 1986 with people suffering from the effects of verbal abuse. It works.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An inspiring story that tells much in so few pages,
This review is from: Peacetalk 101 (Paperback)
This book was a wonderful read. Elgin manages to capture one of the woes of contemporary life, the fact that so many of us simply are not hearing our loved ones, our friends, and our fellow man. We are beginning to shunt away from others and in doing so make our own lives lessen and become miserable.Enter PEACETALK 101. This book offers guidance in the form of a story, instruction that is entertaining and enthralling. I liked the element of the fantastical that keeps the reader involved and wondering all throughout the story. A great work of inspirational speculative fiction.
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