Customer Reviews

People-reading: How we control others, how they control us

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Both theoretical and practical, this book discusses the motivations behind peoples' manipulative behavior, both conscious and unconscious. It offers some advice for controlling or changing this behavior in others and in ourselves. Basically, people develop manipulative behaviors because these behaviors offer some kind of psychological reward. The way to undo these manipulations is to refuse to respond in such a way as to deny the reward that is expected. The book offers ways to do this, such as listening objectively, delivering a surprising response, holding back approval, etc. Also discusses such issues as blaming, discordance, marriage and divorce, children, alcoholism, etc. There are no ground-breaking ideas here, but the book accomplishes its aims in a very clear and accessible fashion, without psychological jargon. Some of the examples are outdated, as when it refers to the "establishment," "the sexual revolution," and the war in Vietnam. There is no bibliography.

This book offers an in depth understanding of our inner reaction to other people's manipulative behavior. It gives insight to why we react the way we do and how to understand the agenda of the most skilled manipulator.How and why we interact in our world the way we do, what we are saying about ourlselves when we smoke, drink , and abuse substances. I orginally purchased this book in its first publication from Time Warner. So many of my friends have borrowed the book that I've needed to replace it. My search has been in vain for all these years until i found it on Amazon. It's well worth the investment. You will refer back to it for years to come

This is a very interesting read. Practical and useful info on why and how people behave the way they do,and how it affects others.

I feel the book was a great insight as to the basic nature of neediness and responsibility. It outlines the reactions and decisions of every human, why we make these decisions, and what we can do to predict these responses in others and ourselves. A great self teaching manual regarding the nature of our own responses.