The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents [Paperback]

Dale Hrabi (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 24, 2009

New parents are hipper, more educated, and more sophisticated than ever, but they're also highly competitive--a lethal combination when turbocharged by the anxieties of raising a baby. And for many couples, it's not just any baby, but the perfect baby. These “excessively motivated” parents will not sabotage Junior's future by denying him Mandarin lessons, a nursery chandelier (just like the one Gwyneth's kids enjoy), or advanced infant yoga. A hilarious, highly visual satire of childrearing manuals, The Perfect Baby Handbook provides much-needed comic relief from the pressures of modern parenting, and gives comfort to moms and dads who can say with a sigh of relief, “At least, we're not this bad.”

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Hands down the funniest book about children that Spy magazine never wrote.” (Douglas Coupland )

“Dale Hrabi’s Perfect Baby Handbook: Advice on ‘elevating your baby’s mind with unattractive Dutch toys’ and more.” (New York )

“This hilarious, satirical look at super-parenting had me laughing so hard, I almost spilled my wine.” (Stefanie Wilder Taylor, author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay )

“In researching his satirical manual, The Perfect Baby Handbook...[which] details yuppie parent phenomena, Dale Hrabi found that sometimes the slightest intervention can help moms and dads see the absurdity of their ways.” (W Magazine )

“Brilliant! Must-read comic relief for anxious new moms and dads, and all the people who lovingly put up with us.” (Miranda Purves, Living Editor, ELLE )

“The Perfect Baby Handbook is a satirical look at raising kids and the perfect antidote to your anxiety (since heavy drinking is out).” (Daily Candy Kids )

“The Perfect Baby Handbook is just what you need when the crushing sense of responsibility you feel when creating a life gets you down. This spoof on traditional baby guidebooks...[will] make you laugh out loud.” (Curve Magazine )

“In this age of competitive parenting, how do you make sure your baby comes out on top — and in the best outfit? . . . This not-so-serious approach to the all-encompassing baby guide gives anxious parents a little breathing room — and a laugh.” (UrbanBaby.com )

“The perfect guide for all those new parents and parents-to-be who are starting to realize that the “perfect baby” may not, in fact, exist in nature. Delightfully absurd, thoroughly imaginative, and very funny.” (Christie Mellor, author of The Three-Martini Playdate )

About the Author

Dale Hrabi is a New York based writer and magazine editor who's held top positions at Details, Us Weekly, and Radar magazines, and contributed to ELLE, Wired, and The New York Times, among other major publications.

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; Original edition (March 24, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061242918
• ISBN-13: 978-0061242915
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #871,903 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dale Hrabi has over-analyzed culture as a writer and editor for DETAILS, ELLE, RADAR, and THE NEW YORK TIMES, among many other publications. He is currently a flawed adult.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you don't buy this, your baby will be stupid, May 12, 2009

By 

marjorie ingall - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents (Paperback)

Dale Hrabi is one of the funniest former babies ever. Though imperfect himself, he has penned a hilarious, truthful, perfect gift for the expectant or annoying parent. This brilliant parody of parenting books will help you laugh at OTHER PARENTS' mishegas, whether you're semi-self-aware about your own private-school-driven child-rearing competitiveness or whether you're self-congratulatory in your homeschooling and allow Phoenix and Amon-Ra to play only with sustainable hardwood marionettes they self-carve. Seriously, I could look at this book's baby name loser/winner matrix chart for hours (I'm slow) and laugh and laugh and laugh. (Girl loser names include Feebee, Wadine, and Poofia; Boy loser names include Testosteronald and Fudd; Girl winner names include Conquistadora and Elizabetter; boy winner names include Exacliburt and Overlord. Of course, gender-neutral winner and loser names are there too.) This book is really, really, really funny.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Humor He Wrote, April 28, 2009

By 

ivymama - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents (Paperback)

If there's one thing I need in my arsenal as a mama-to-two, it would be laughter (and comic relief) which Dale Hrabi delivers so perfectly. Witty, clever, funny - made even funnier by the (frightening) fact that underneath it all, there's a teeny, tiny grain of truth to the content (aren't we all striving for perfection?).
all in, a wonderful commentary on competitive child-raising and a must-read for all parents, because don't we all need to laugh a little, even if it is at ourselves.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Clever, April 20, 2009

By 

Marney C. Taylor (Redwood City, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents (Paperback)

My brother sent me a copy of this book because he knows I enjoy well written, intelligent, funny books. This one made me laugh out loud. I even found myself reading excerpts to my friends.