Perfect Daughters [Paperback]

Robert Ackerman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1989

Daughters of alcoholics often assume responsibility for the failures of others. Ackerman explores - and helps conquer - these issues.


Are women who were raised in alcoholic families, adult daughters, different from women who were raised in non-alcoholic families? Dr. Ackerman, a leading expert on alcoholism and the family and especially on children of alcoholics of all ages, has brought together the thoughts, ideas and feelings of more than 1200 women in this first book on adult daughters of alcoholics.

Do you find yourself represented in any of the following statements from adult daughters?

If I please everyone, everyone will be happy

If I don't get too close emotionally, no one can hurt me

Nothing is wrong but I don't feel right

Something is missing from my life

My relationships usually consist of a lack of trust, fear of intimacy, low self-worth, over-responsibility and picking the wrong person.

If you often feel isolated, engage in self-condemnation, experience inconsistency, always want to be in control, rely heavily on others for their approval and believe that you must be perfect, you have many things in common with other adult daughters. Adult daughters are beginning to talk about their experiences, express their fears and share their growth. This book represents many of the stories of childhood pain and the paths to recovery that have been found by many Perfect Daughters.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. , is Professor of Sociology at Indiana University of Pennsylvania and Chair of the Mid-Atlantic Addiction Training Institute. He is the author of A Husband's Little Black Book, A Wife's little Red Book, Before It's Too Late, and many others.. He is a founding board member of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics.

Product Details

• Paperback: 200 pages
• Publisher: HCI; underlining/highlighting edition (October 1, 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1558740406
• ISBN-13: 978-1558740402
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #395,131 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #61 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Recovery > Adult Children of Alcoholics

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

77 of 79 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars insightful and inspiring, May 10, 2000

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Perfect Daughters (Paperback)

I've read many books on children of alcoholics. Don't be fooled by my four stars--I'm a harsh critic. In the various readings I've done, Dr. Ackerman combines the best of it all in his book--you'll find profiles of daughters so you can identify your own daughter role, descriptions of the holistic process of recovery, and inspiring words. My favorite tidbit in his book is the poem which begins, "After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul." If you're in the early stages of coping with the alcoholism of a parent, this book is for you! Although I am much younger than she, I recently mailed this book to my older sister. She is finally ready to come to terms with the disease and to let go of some of her anger. Mothers, it can be a wonderful gift to your daughters! I received it from my mother, and I've passed it on. Does "pass it on" sound familiar? Let the healing begin!

54 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An epiphany of understanding!, July 23, 2002

By 

Carolyn (Münster, Germany) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Perfect Daughters (Paperback)

While my family was not one of staggering drunks and physical or overt verbal abuse, this books sheds light on why I feel the way that I do! It's easy to get turned off at first by the overt drunks experiences of many of the people's stories presented here if you yourself didn't experience that. The MOST valuable part of the book is a look at different personality traits that you may have developed during your not-so-normal childhood. This books points out the positive things that ACoA's have learned from their experiences and how to use those to our greatest advantage, while understanding and working on some of the traits we developed that are not useful to us as adults. I highly recommend this book - and that you read it several times!

34 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simply extraordinary, very clear, complete and also witty, April 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Perfect Daughters (Paperback)

Not an easy book to be read but full of humanity, awareness and insight brought by all the personal experiences. I would highly recommend this reading not only to daughters of alcoholics and dysfunctional families but to everybody who wants to take her life in her hands.