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No Perfect Father's Here Paperback – April 22, 2010
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Top Customer Reviews
Second, I was inspired to continue my work as a therapist to help people who have been deeply affected by poor fathering in their childhood. Working for 20 years as a therapist - first as a counsellor, then as a psychotherapist and play therapist - I have come across literally hundreds of people who can trace their emotional difficulties directly to problems with father-figures. The man/men in their lives have abandoned, abused, ignored or belittled them. It sometimes seems like an international epidemic.
John Bowlby, the great attachment theorist, saw the importance of the baby and small child bonding with both father and mother. Now his son, Sir Richard Bowlby, has taken up his father's mantle. Quoting a 25-year study, he has pointed out that babies and toddlers played with by a man such as a father grow into their 20s with more emotional resources and balance than those where no male figure was present.
In this book Chris Spicer scratches where society itches in this vital area. He sees a father as coach, cheerleader, composer, champion and many more. Using vignettes of real people, he stresses the importance of consistent, loving fathering.
He warns readers, in a tongue-in-cheek way, that this role is not easy. Fatherhood, he says, `may seriously affect your mental health and sense of physical well-being. Should not be taken lightly without first consulting a doctor, minister, bank manager and therapist, as this role will invade your privacy, test your sanity and irreversibly damage your prosperity' (page 29).Read more ›
I love that he doesn't talk down to his readers, he's not pontificating. but rather encouraging. He doesn't pretend to have been the perfect father himself and openly shares some of his own faux pas so that we can learn from them.
I wish this book was around when I was raising my own children, but having now read it myself, I am grateful to have been able to place a copy in the hands of my son and son-in-law to help them in this most demanding, yet rewarding of vocations.
I'm so sure of the positive impact No Perfect Fathers Here will have, that I have placed a bulk order to make them available to the congregation of the church I pastor.
Roger J. Blackmore
Long Island, New York
I liked the layout of the book and that each chapter was fairly self contained. He cleverly starts by asking what kind of a reader you are - skimmer, swimmer, or soaker. That made me think before diving in, and I decided to grab my pen and soak on and underline thoughts, making it easier to go back and skim when I want to find a quick bit of encouragement or advice.
Highly recommend the book to any father, but especially yound dads, or dads to be -- learn from others while you still can influence and shape your parenting skills. Furthermore, it will help you know what to pray for you as you start out your fathering journey. (Have also recommended that my wife read it, as it will provide good discussion for us as a couple on parenting, as well as my role as a dad.
Lastly, one of my teenage daughters gave me the book for fathers day....wonder what she was trying to tell me!