With wit, humor, and an engaging style, Barreca considers the evolving roles of husbands and wives in American culture, and reveals how the static myths that many women cling to can lead to unhappiness in today's changing world.
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Barreca ( They Used to Call Me Snow White, But I Drifted ) presents a lively and convincing overview of the politics of marriage. Although women's roles in society and marriage have changed drastically over the past few decades, the traditional concept of husband as breadwinner and household head has not kept up with these changes. According to Barreca, it is still common for women--even those with lucrative careers--to allow themselves to drift into emotional and financial dependence on men, a point she bolsters with examples from literature, popular songs and movies which illustrate how women have long regarded men as their "saviors." There are problems for a woman who doesn't take responsibility for herself: the author speaks of her own failure to learn how to drive until age 33, depending on others to take her where she needed to go, all too often to places of their choice. Barreca doesn't denounce marriage, but she urges women to regard it as a journey instead of a destination and to look upon men as fallible humans instead of husband material. Only then, she notes, can there be true equality in marriage.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
A sassy gazetteer by Barreca (English and Feminist Theory/Univ. of Connecticut; They Used To Call Me Snow White, 1991) that explores the modern matrimonial state from all angles, kicking up plenty of facts, fictions, and jokes along the way. Barreca's avowed purpose here is to discover the ``differences between men's and women's beliefs concerning marriage, and, specifically, the role played by the husband.'' She starts by noting that, traditionally, ``becoming a wife was the most a woman could hope for in life whereas remaining single was more than a man could hope for,'' and she contends that most married men loathe Sundays (because it's the domesticity day). Men, Barreca says, haven't really changed much lately--for them, marriage still means bartering their freedom for ``a permanent address, regular sex, and home-cooked meals.'' Meanwhile, many men still lose interest in their wives as sex objects, seek younger wives (since women supposedly age faster than they do), and feel trapped by the sense that women like them best when they're invulnerable and evasive. And women, Barreca adds, also continue to marry for old-fashioned, unhealthy reasons--to find out who they are or to be taken care of. But ``monogamy doesn't mean loving your husband instead of yourself,'' quips the author, who goes on to say that the romantic myths that women cling to (like the Heathcliff/Linton dichotomy) prove to be inadequate equipment for real-life relationships. So what are a man and woman to do? Stop fantasizing and recognize that marriage isn't perfect, Barreca suggests. But her real purpose here isn't to prescribe or analyze deeply--it's just to hold the mirror up to marriage, which she does with good nature and her trademark wit. (Thirty-fived b&w photographs; ten line drawings) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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More About the Author
Deemed a "feminist humor maven" by Ms. Magazine and "Very, very funny. For a woman" by Dave Barry, Gina Barreca is most recently the author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World (St. Martin's, 2009/ppb. 2010). She has appeared on 20/20, 48 Hours, NPR, the BBC, The Today Show, CNN, Joy Behar, and Oprah to discuss gender, power, politics, and humor. Her earlier books, include the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted: Women's Strategic Use of Humor, as well as Perfect Husband and Other Fairy Tales: Demystifying Men, Marriage and Romance, Sweet Revenge: The Wicked Delights of Getting Even, and Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation in the Ivy League; her books have been translated into several languages, including Chinese, Spanish, Japanese, and German. She's the editor of seventeen books, including The Signet Book of American Humor and The Penguin Book of Women's Humor as well as The Erotics of Instruction and A Sit-Down With the Sopranos. She writes for the "Brainstorm" section of The Chronicle of Higher Education and blogs for Psychology Today, does a weekly column for The Hartford Courant, a monthly column for Principal Leadership, and occasionally spars with her former co-author (of I'm With Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstandings Between the Sexes Cleared Right Up) Gene Weingarten in his "Below the Beltway" column in The Washington Post. With degrees from Dartmouth College, Cambridge University, and the City University of New York, Barreca is Professor of English and Feminist Theory at the University of Connecticut.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
funny, smart, REAL book about men, women, and sex,
By Hardwick Taylor "HT" (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Perfect Husbands (& Other Fairy Tales) (Paperback)
Too many advice books talk down to the readers; not everybody is scared to find playfulness alongside of Plato. This is like hearing what youf best friend's older sister says about her boyfriends and sex: it's honest and funny and TRUE. Great supportive wedding book, esp, for those entering a second marriage.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Must read for women,
By "tnchaltry" (WI) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Perfect Husbands (& Other Fairy Tales) (Paperback)
This is a great book. The information in it is presented in an thoughtful and humorous way. This book made me really think about my expectations and preconceptions of marriage and men and where they came from. I have even gone back and read it a couple more times.
4 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not the most engaging book on the subject,
By A Customer
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This review is from: Perfect Husbands (& Other Fairy Tales) (Paperback)
Barreca seems to have difficulty deciding whether she wants this to be a scholarly text or a (mildly)amusing collection of anecdotes. It tends to make points that are presented as fact, then backed up by something a character said in a novel written in 1930, or whined by a friend over dinner last week. Occasionally, Barreca makes an interesting, original point but such moments get lost in the shuffle.
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